I want to talk about what it takes to hold a harem together.
Actually, I have a buddy and he was really keen on this that he wanted three girls living in his house. That was his goal. That was his dream where the three girls love all each other and they love him. They have this giant king-sized bed and the four of them go at it.
You know, pretty ambitious I think.
He actually met this one girl – really cut blondie, short. She kind of looked like Bernadette from the Big Bang series actually and he was really upfront with her. He was like, “Hey, I don’t want a traditional relationship. I want a certain living situation where at least two girls in my place.”
She was actually sympathetic to it, a little bit cautious.
Simply because he was really upfront about it, he was unapologetic about it, he hadn’t established like a girlfriend-boyfriend relationship with her yet, so she didn’t have certain expectations that he was going to be like monogamous with her. He was really a good catch, a good guy, had a lot going for him. She was kind of into the idea.
Then, I think about a month later, he met this other girl, white girl originally from Texas and he did the same thing. He was really upfront with her. He said, “Hey, I don’t want the traditional monogamous relationship. I want to have this particular living situation.”
Again, this girls was cautious, but she was kind of into the idea for the same reasons he brought it up right away, and he was a pretty cool guy, a good catch.
He actually invited both of those girls to move in, to live with him, and they took it up. They did it.
Things went okay for a couple of weeks but there was very quickly a lot of infighting between the girls, a lot of jealousy, a lot of very subtle sabotage and eventually the whole thing blew up in his face. I think it lasted for 2 months. He actually kicked both the girls out. It kind of ended up a little bit nasty. But that’s not the end of the story. I’ll tell you the end of the story at the end of the video.
The issues with harems
But the point is okay, these things, these harem situations can kind of be inherently unstable. How do you keep a harem stable? How do you keep it going? Is it really even something that’s worth doing?
So why don’t you see more pickup artists with harems where they’re actually living with a couple of their favorite girls?
Well, the fact is it’s unstable. It’s difficult to maintain.
Girls might have different life directions that they want to go in. Maybe one of your girls wants to have children. Another girl wants to go back to school. Another girl wants to start a career.
These conflicting goals create problems; create tension in the group; can create jealousies in the group.
Another problem is that a lot of these women will have different issues. Maybe one girl has emotional drama going on in her life and she’s not mentally mature, and that conflicts with the other girls. Maybe another girls has mental health issues that conflict with the other girls. Maybe one girl needs more attention because she has family problems and that causes jealousy among the other girls. Maybe there are just personality conflicts going on that can create tension with the other girls.
There’s just tons of room for fighting and jealousy and subtle sabotage, and the result is that you have a really unstable situation.
How harems were managed in history
Now in history, harems were actually very complex social structures. You had eunuchs, these guards that had their dicks chopped off, that would actually lock the girls away in a prison, so they couldn’t escape. If a girl did try to leave, she’d actually be executed.
They were very expensive to maintain. The sultan or the harem owner would actually spend tons of money giving the women the best food, the best clothes.
Each girl in reality would have their own living space, their own little apartment so that it was a way to tap down on these jealousy and infighting.
These were just massive complexes that were basically like prisons and they were so expensive for example that there was a guy named Mehmed III in the 1500s. He was the emperor of the Ottoman Empire, and he spent so much money maintaining his harem that he actually devalued his currency and there were riots in Istanbul for many years.
These were very expensive, very difficult to maintain simply because you basically had to use bribery and force. It almost came down to forced prostitution just to keep the women in line, to keep the women from killing each other.
Lessons to draw from history
So we can learn from history on how to keep a harem together.
(1) It could very good to have a generous income coming in, so there is less material conflicts. Girls want to go off in different directions, want to do their different things. You want to have the money to kind of keep them happy, so to speak.
(2) You also want to have a large place where each girl is going to have their own bedroom or even their own mini-apartment, just so there’s enough space between the girls that they can get away from each other and they’re not going to kill each other.
(3) The other thing you want to have is to be ruling with like an iron fist. You’re not going to be physically aggressive per se but just emotionally dominant. You are the oak tree in the relationship. You are the steadiness. You’re the rock that keeps things going, and you dampen down on fighting. You set boundaries. You discipline the girls as necessary just to keep the unit together. You are kind of mimicking what the sultans of old did to keep your harem together.
An easier alternative?
But the truth is that you can have the same results just by dating a lot of girls, just letting them live in their own places, not taking responsibility for them.
If you want to experience a threesome, then you invite two of the girls to come over or even a foursome, invite three of the girls to come over.
You can have the same kind of effects but not have to spend all that money or take on the responsibility for all the girls’ different problems.
That’s why you see so few pickup artists with harems. Instead, they do the dating thing or maybe eventually find a girlfriend because a harem where the girls live under your roof is just very resource-intensive. It’s very expensive monetarily and you kind of have to rule with an iron fist. To some degree, you can be the bad guy.
That’s not why most guys get into pickup. Most guys in pickup are “lifestylers.” They want a certain lifestyle that’s fun, that they enjoy, that they don’t have to stress about too much.
You very rarely see harems and you have to – even though a harem sounds like a great romantic, cool idea, you got to think about the cost and the downside involved. Maybe it’s more of a nice fantasy, but it’s not really practical.
That’s what happened to my friend at the end of the day. He gave up on the idea on having a harem. It was just too much work. He realized it wasn’t as cool in his mind as it was in reality. But he just ended up dating a couple of girls and that was a lot easier for him.
If you’ve ever lived with two or three girls under one roof ‑ and a couple of you I’m sure have ‑ leave a comment below. If you think that harems are a great idea or not, leave me a comment below.