Ben wrote to me, “Jessie, for the last month, I’ve been hitting the gym four times a week and I got my diet pretty well handled. At night, when I checked out a young girl, she asked me pretty quickly for my age. I always answer 31 in a straight fashion because I have no problem with my age after all. The girls, however, do seem to have an issue. She was 18 and she bailed immediately thereafter. The night before, one girl estimated my age to be 24.
When I told her my correct age of 31, she noted I could be her father. She was 19. Jessie, how should I handle this age issue? Should I lie to girls and tell them I’m younger than I really am?”
Okay, that’s a great question.
First off, if you’re having a strong man-to-woman interaction instead of merely friend-to-friend and you go on with strong eye contact, use some breaking report tonality, and very quickly you establish a momentum, a rhythm where the girl is reacting to you and you are leading the interaction, then you know this is not really going to come up so much.
I mean if you’re being friendly and cool with a great vibe and there’s a little bit of attraction going on, at least a little bit of curiosity and fascination, the girl is going to look for reasons to like you despite your age. She’s going to make up rationalizations in her mind that she should like older gentlemen.
Don’t ignore the question
Now of course you’re not always going to be on top of your game perfectly and this question will come up sometimes because there are some girls that just have a real problem with this age issue, and there’s a number of solutions for this. But you know just quick little things that you can say to smooth it over and to kind of pass that test, pass that hurdle and move on with the interaction, just handle things you can do.
The thing you don’t want to do though number 1 is completely avoid the question. Now sometimes when you’re in a conversational thread with a girl, she’s going on about something that’s meaningless and doesn’t move things forward. Say for example she keeps complaining about her drunk ex-boyfriend or something who’s always drinking and treated her badly and she’s kind of hung up on this, you want to lead and cut that thread, change the topic, move on to something more productive.
But if you completely ignore the girl when she asks you for your age, what she’s going to do is she’s going to assume the worst. She’s going to think that you’re hiding something.
Now this is something I used to when I was much younger like 15 years ago talking to a much older woman or a woman in her mid 40s and I’m in my young 20s, I’ve ignored the question, just try to pass over it, but that generally didn’t work. The woman will keep asking me my age. It didn’t address the problem.
Don’t qualify yourself to her
Now the next thing you want to do that you don’t want to do is get into a logical argument with the girl like listing out the benefits of why she should like you despite your age.
Now that’s a great strategy if you are selling like really expensive vacuum cleaners. You know, “This $1,000 vacuum cleaner has better suction than any other vacuum cleaner and the suction lasts longer, and it cleans up pollen and allergens and so on and so forth.”
But if you list out to a woman benefits about why she should be into you, it sends the wrong kind of frame because now you are reacting to her and you are qualifying yourself to her. She is setting the rhythm whereas you want to be setting the rhythm and getting the girl reacting to you and qualifying herself to you. So it’s kind of a weak frame to be coming from.
I mean back in the day again when I was much younger, what if I’m talking to an older woman, I’d be like and she raised an objection about it, I would say, “You know, younger guys they last longer in bed or are more creative, with more energy, yada, yada, yada.” Sometimes it kind of worked, smooth things over a little. Sometimes it didn’t. It didn’t really address her concerns because again you’re falling into that frame of reacting and qualifying yourself to the girl.
The Lying Game – Pros and Cons
Now a better solution – now this is not the best solution – but it’s better than those other two – is just lying. Lying about your age by 5 or 8 years, you can come down 5 or 8 years, you can go up by 5 or 8 years. Girls will buy into a small lie, as long as it’s not too big if it’s 5 or 8 years because women want to believe that fairytale that you could be the right guy for her because she is talking to you.
There’s got to be some attraction going on. If there weren’t, she wouldn’t be talking to you at all. It kind of fits into that nice romantic fairytale that you could be like the one for her. So she’s going to give you the benefit of the doubt if you lie about your age.
Instead of you might say it’s unethical to lie, now you want to reframe that as just going down the path of least resistance instead of lying.
Another reason you could reframe it is that we’re always putting on kind of a nice little façade about who we are to women just in the same way that when a woman doesn’t show her true complexion when she first meets you. I mean she’s wearing makeup of course, she’s not showing her true height. She could be wearing high heels.
She could be wearing clothes that accentuate her body in certain ways or hide her problem areas of her body, and she’s not going to be talking about politics and religion as soon as she meets you. So we’re all putting on kind of a low back of a front when we first meet the person.
You can look at it as you don’t have to reveal your age that early on in an interaction and it’s okay to lie in that case because it’s part of that putting on a façade.
You can also look at it as you’re doing a favor to the girl because she’s going to pass on you or reject you based on the superficial number. Whereas if you lie a little bit or go with the path of least resistance, at least you’re giving her a chance to get to know the real you and you could do something really wonderful or special for her, give her a great relationship for example. You can look at it as you’re doing the girl a favor.
The Guessing Age Game
Now there’s two ways that I think is better than lying.
First of all, lying is not going to work in all situations, especially if you’re 50 years old and the girl is 20 and you’re going to lie and say that you’re 40, she’s still going to think you’re her dad.
A better way to handle this first is the guessing game that I like to use. How it goes, how the guessing game works is like this: the girl will ask you how old are you and you’re going to say in a playfully flirtatious way guess how old I am.
So you’re not getting defensive at all. It’s playful and flirtatious. She’s going to throw out a number and then you’re going to just say, “You’re pretty close,” or you can say, “You’re a good guesser.”
For some reason, it just like short circuits the girl’s mind because it’s an ambiguous answer so she doesn’t have a solid number to go on, but you did give her an answer, so women will just kind of pass on from the issue. It’s kind of like you passed that little test and they will be cool with it.
Say if you’re 50 years old and you’re talking to a girl that’s 22 and you tell her to guess her age, and she says maybe 41, and girls will usually work that number in your favor again because they want to have that romantic fantasy come true for themselves. They want you to fit into the mold of how they think they can introduce you to their friends and family, so they’re going down a number. If she’s a younger girl and she’s an older woman, she’ll go up a number for you.
Basically it just short circuits the girl’s brain and whereas if you were to give her a specific number, say you were to say, “I’m 42 years old,” which will not work. If she guesses 42, and you just say, “Oh, you’re close,” for some reason, the girl will be okay with that.
Solution: Heighten The Age Difference
Another solution is actually to heighten the age difference. Bring it to her attention. Feature it. If a girl says, “Hey, how old are you?”
You’re going to say in a very playful, fun, flirtatious way, “I’m an old assed man. I can barely get my dick up anymore, girl.”
Basically you’re disqualifying yourself before she has a chance to do disqualify you and you are getting a laugh out of her and turning it into a playful thing and you’re not reacting to her in any way and you’re being cool and everything, so that really works as well. When you actually heighten the age difference and disqualify yourself before you give her a chance to disqualify you and turn into like a funny thing. Girls really respond really well to that.
Recap
So again, if you have strong fundamentals and you’re coming into the interactions man-to-woman instead of a friend-to-friend, you have that strong eye contact going on, that breaking report tonality, and you’re getting her to react quickly to you, typically this won’t even be an issue.
But if it does come up, again don’t ignore it. Also don’t list out benefits and qualify yourself to the girl why she should like an older or a younger boy. Better off is to lie by 5 to 8 years
Well, the camera just ran out of batteries on me there.
Well if you can’t lie, you wanted to do the guessing game or you want to actually heighten the age difference, bring attention to it and pre-disqualify yourself before the girl gets a chance to.
Those two solutions work really well.
Leave me a comment below if you have your own solution to this age issue and be sure to click on the link either on this video or below the video to grab my free course, my free video course on getting a great girlfriend.
Just some things that have worked for me as an older man. “you’re way too young for me” make it something forbidden to her. “someone like you couldn’t handle someone like me” make it “someone” like you and it challenges them. Or 2its OK if youre not experienced enough to handle an older man.” look for signs of father issues. working class younger women have been more accepting. just some things I have noticed.
This is so ‘spot-on’. This is what I have been doing for years. I have the advantage/disadvantage of looking much young for my age so pulling chicks has been easy. Using the techniques in the video has been the ‘lock-them in’ converter. Later in the relationship things can go weird. For example, after a session with one I had been with for months asked my age, I stupidly in a euphoric state gave the real number. She went silent for a moment then screeched “fuck..you’re older than my dad”. She got dressed at lightening speed, bolted and never saw her again. This wasn’t a bad thing…I had enough of her at that time. So I went out and did all again and found one twenty six years younger.
Thanks for adding Paul
Age is the US is too much of a issue. Is the US everything is based on numbers. Them foreign counties age is just a number. Women in foreign like older men.
Yes, it depends. In foreign countries, a girl from a poorer background will be looking more at a man’s wealth and status than age. But middle class girls in foreign countries typically account for age as much as US middle class women.
Being a cool guy and taking care of yourself and doing man-to-woman interactions is often enough to overpower the age objection, even in the US.