About a year ago, I was training a guy in his mid 50s, an older gentleman.
Shortly after the training, the one-on-one training with him, he hooked up with a girl in her early 20s and actually went on some dates. He got her into bed, but they actually split apart eventually because her parents found out.
They were horrified that she was dating such an older and she forced her to break up with him.
Now the story actually has a much more positive ending for this guy. I’m going to get back to that in a couple of minutes, but this got me thinking.
Is it ever going to become mainstream or acceptable for a much older guy to date a much younger girl, say a 55-year-old guy dating a 20-year-old girl?
The short answer is no.
Four reasons old-young relationships will never be accepted
Actually, I thought of four pretty good reasons for this, delving deep into human psychology and economics.
Now there’s tons of younger girls that have this fantasy of dating a much older gentleman, the George Clooney or the Richard Gere, who has status and good looks, who is well-grounded and experienced and well-traveled and so on like she’s got some little fantasy going on.
But at the same time, society will shame her, so she’s got to be conscious of what her family would think or what her friends would think.
Reason #1- most older guys are broken
The first reason that this will never become mainstream dating between old and young is simply because 99 percent of older gentlemen in their 50s, by the time they hit 50, they are broken men.
They are broken. They have 20 or 30 years of bad habits behind them – smoking, or drinking, or watching too much television, leading sedentary lives, or you know going to a job that they dislike, and they’ve got all these stress hormones ravaging their body. Cortisol going through their head, and they feel like shit. They don’t exercise. They don’t eat right. By the time they hit 55, they look like crap.
If you walk through any Wal-Mart, older guys, you very rarely look at a guy in his 50s and like, “Oh, I want to be that guy. That’s how I want to be.” I mean that almost never happens.
You’re always thinking, “Shit, I’ll never look like that,” or, “I hope I don’t look like that.”
The reason that it will never become mainstream is because 99 percent of guys reinforce this image or this stereotype that all older guys are kind of like past their prime. They’re losers. They’re no good for younger girls. They have nothing to offer.
Even if a young girl has this fantasy in her head of the ideal older guy, if she told her friends or family, what they’re thinking about is the guy, you know the Wal-Mart critter, or the old guy with the shriveled skin and the balding head. He has no fashion sense and he is from a different century, and you could kick his dick up.
So they would probably shame her or tease her because they’re thinking in their mind, “Okay, this girl has some weird fetish for creepy, older guys like grandpa on her.”
Most younger girls are not going to openly admit that to other people, even though they harbor fantasy.
Reason #2- it’s a threat to older women
So the second reason that it will never become mainstream is because of older women.
Now it’s not in the interest of older women for older guys to date younger girls.
A lot of older women, their income and companionship depend on older guys sticking with them, not going after these young girls.
It would throw society or mainstream society into total chaos if millions of older guys suddenly got the bright idea to hit on young girls or go after younger girls because you have all these older women that would be kind of left behind. It’s not in their genetic interest for that to happen.
So older women will often very quickly shame a younger girl or shame a couple where it’s an older guy or a younger woman because they don’t like to see that. They don’t want older guys to get any ideas.
Reason #3- it’s a threat to younger men
The third reason it will never become mainstream ever, not now or not for a thousand years is because of younger guys.
So younger guys don’t want that competition. I mean younger guys have a lot to offer in their own way. They have a lot of potential for growth. They have better looks, maybe physically in better shape.
But older guys, if they have been working on themselves really well, are really hard competition.
An older guy that’s been working on himself can be better dressed, has more experience, has more status, can have more money.
He can be more successful.
He can offer a lot more to a young 18-year-old or 19-year-old girl.
Younger guys, instead of competing mano a mano with that, it’s just a lot easier to shame the girl. Shame her. Shame her. Shame her. Because it’s not in their genetic interest, again you have a whole big sector of society there that this will not become mainstream.
Reason #4- Fathers
The fourth reason it will never become mainstream older guys dating younger girls is because of fathers.
Now every older guy, if they could just snap their fingers and make it happen would love to have a threesome or a foursome with a bunch of 18-year-old girls, but every father doesn’t want his angel little daughter to get fucked by a bunch of guys, let alone some guy that’s twice or three times her age.
Fathers are very protective and in that way, there is this contradiction.
A guy can be a father and very protective of his own offspring and yet want to bang everybody else’s offspring.
Because of that, this conflict of interest between men, you have this whole swathe of demographic of fathers who don’t want their daughters to hook up with older guys and will never become mainstream.
Because of these four reasons, don’t ever wait around, thinking that this is going to become a new movement like gay rights or legalization of marijuana where you do see movement forward.
On this, you’re never going to see forward movement because there’s just too many people out there that’s not in their genetic interest to see it happen. It’s sometimes not in the economic interest of mainstream society.
Use the social pressure to YOUR advantage
So the thing is, here’s the thing: you want to use that to your advantage. This is awesome. You should be thinking of this as a great opportunity. Let’s say you can go back in time and be a 20-year-old guy.
There’s no shame in hooking up with a 19-year-old, but the downside to that if you have to compete now with every other 20-year-old guy.
You’re competing with every other 19-year-old guy.
You’re competing with everyone who’s 21, 22, 23. You’re competing with millions of men that want her attention.
Whereas if you’re an older guy, because of the shame, because a lot of older guys don’t take care of themselves, if you’re an older guy that takes care of himself and you’re just like “Fuck with society things, I’m going to do it anyway,” and you go to where the young girls are, you’re really going to stand out.
You’re not going to have any competition. If you’re the 55-year-old guy that’s really got the shit together, really got his act together, you’re going to be the only 55-year-old guy within a 30-mile radius that can see that.
If you’re older- here’s you how can clean up with younger girls
Most girls harbor fantasies about hooking with an older guy, you’re going to be the one older guy around, so no competition.
It’s just a matter of taking care of yourself, having the right habits, walking that narrow road of success, and not caring about the shame, not caring about what other people think, not caring about seeking permission. Then you can really clean up. You can really, really clean up.
Like this guy ‑ to finish the story – like this guy in his mid 50s who is very short-term girlfriend was forced to break up with him, he actually came back from more training with me a little while later and then later on, he’s slept with a girl who I think is 18-year-old or 19-year-old, something like that, really, really young.
He sent me some photos. Really cute girl. Amazing. I was even a little shocked. That didn’t last, but shortly after that, he started dating a girl who was in her mid 20s again, and I think they’re still dating.
Granted this guy is successful, relatively successful, not rich or anything but relatively successful, dresses well, is well-spoken, has done some traveling, is experienced, he offers a lot to a woman that a young guy simply can’t offer.
He’s a cool guy.
If you can build up your habits, if you can build up a lifestyle that girls will find attractive and you’re an older gentleman, you want to go with these younger girls, you can really, really clean up.
You are so right, don’t give a damn about what anyone thinks, just have fun
I was glancing over the DVD section of the library when I was a approached by a slim man around my height, he asked my for my number straight up. Usually or at least back then, I always gave my number if a man who came up to me asked. It seemed really confident and at the time I was impressed with that kind of display because I could never do that myself. This man bookended getting my number by reminding me to “fix your hair, before our date” which he explained by saying it was “messed up”. To which I got super pissed about and waited for him to contact me so I could throw the book at this guy. (Completely not realizing he was negging me) He texts, I rebuke him by calling him an asshole for saying such a shitty comment. He went on to say he was kidding and it was a joke and that if I didn’t get it, I obviously wasn’t datable or whatever. He made me feel bad for even getting upset. He coerced me into agreeing to a date.
The date started out fine, a little boring, I was trying to be nice but it was obvious we had nothing in common. We were making very stiff small talk the whole time. He also made it a point to make fun of my college major or point out how he didn’t understand it. We leave. He tells me we are going somewhere special, which I’m excited for, apparently he wants to take me to mullholland drive. Which is a stretch of road in LA for anyone living under a rock, I was new to the area and down for that. He took my to Mulholland and we leave the car, its a great view LA, albeit really high up and we are at the edge of this massive cliff. He comes up behind me and starts groping me. I audibly shout ‘NO!’ And try to push him away as he shoves his tongue in my mouth and pushes me closer to the cliffs edge. We struggle for a bit but I give up as it’s obvious he will push me over the edge if I resist. This man throws me into his car and locks the doors. The last I remember clearly was the lights of a truck that saw part of me being pushed, but eventually they drove away. There’s a lot of discourse over comparing rape to theft, but it isn’t theft, it’s a form of identity robbing that changes you fundamentally as a person. It wasn’t my first time having sex but it was my first time being objectified during, and I haven’t trusted people, specifically men, the same since. The sheer embarrassment and shame of it happening has kept me from sharing it with all but my closest friends. I’m a strong woman so this was a strike on a lot of what I stood for, so much that after he dumped me back at home, I washed physically and emotionally and completely repressed the whole experience from my memories. It wasn’t until a year or so after that the panic and anger set in.
I have heard or read from other sources that older American/Western men can date, sleep, or marry younger women in Dominican Republic, Colombia, Russia, and other countries. The men do not have to deal with anger, embarrassment, or disappointment from society, media, etc. But, in United States or a Westernized country, every older man is expected to be with a woman around his age and every younger woman is expected to be with a man around her age. If any of them are with someone of a different age, race, culture, or background, he or she may face some tough obstacles.
I am 61 an American ex-pat in Europe. The age difference stigma is not as bad here, but in public it is best to act more like a friendly boss not a lover. Don’t look too casual with young women.
If you can take it private and discrete this all changes 100%. The key though is a very nice place or “pussy pad” well stocked with wine. Over doing it is not necessary, just normal glasses, some decent house mix music, low lights, but clean. There MUST be socializing. If you can’t socialize don’t even try. If a woman gags at this cut her loose fast, don’t frustrate yourself. I found my place almost by luck but Europe is full of such places. For younger women it is a magnet, gets them in the mood for sex.
However, I don’t believe in being coy about what goes on. It is a mix between a gentleman and a bad boy. You need a 99% good attitude. Young women love an appreciative smile and nod when they get undressed or parade their lingerie. Even the hottest women are not totally comfortable with their bodies as society as set ridiculous standards. Just slow down and beam at them.
If you are older watch your blood sugar, and avoid get drowsy. Keep the belly down too. Don’t crash in the pre-sex social sessions, that is a kiss of death and will make you look old. Crashing after vigorous sex is normal and acceptable. If you drink beer offset with apple vinegar in water. I use a little pot rather than wine because of this.
You will need to give gifts to young struggling women, but this is done as a “surprise” when they leave so as not to give the appearance of a transaction. My feeling is don’t make it too extravagant because then you do end up with strictly hookers. I do not favor professionals, but young women can get an extra turn-on from the amateur call girl fantasy if they like you otherwise.
I have found not one but two lead girls, one Ukrainian and one Russian who are very responsive, orgasmic and love to please. They are bringing their friends over. I think this works because the friends trust her and want the sex and ambiance. She is filtering and recommending on behalf of her friends. This is the ultimate goal, a harem. You better have Viagra and energy for this.
Great tips Chance, thanks
I love it
Great post
you think that all “hot girls” are the same and you get them like bait. Go fuck yourself yeah? 🙂
You preach no fap, yet your website is loaded of pictures of girls in thongs and shit?
So you found yourself masturbating yourself to the rated-R pictures on this website???
It’s fap bait. Be a man and own it.
I am 63, in decent shape, work out in the gym (weights and swimming) 2 to 3 days a week, been going out regularly for some time, following up with your blogs as well, and while I’ve never been married (well shit sometimes happens, but I’m over all that), I’m beginning to find out that I have an advantage over my age mates who have let aging control them, when it comes to women! Thanks for your continued good words. (You might recognize my name from prior posts on your forum).
Thanks Kojo!
How do you text a girl into your bed hahaha i bet there is no solution
discussion here…
I am 62 married man, looking for other good looking married younger women. I am in great shape work out 5 to 6 days a week. Will your programs work for me/
Thanks for asking Paul… you can always send me a private message, there’s a “Write to Jesse” link in the menu