https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=11vsLyP7LvE
Everything that happens in pickup with girls is on your shoulders. Generally, girls will not help you at all.
If you’re permission-seeking from a girl, she’s not going to give you permission. If you’re looking for approval from a girl, you can’t expect to be getting approval. If you’re looking for a girl to give you permission to make moves or to escalate with her, or to keep talking with her, or to move the conversation in a new direction, you can’t expect her to help you.
Pickup is not a charity where girls are just going to throw sex at you. Now it can happen on occasion, but generally, it’s not going to happen.
What you see again and again are guys that just talk and talk and talk to a girl. They’re in a conversation. They talk for 10 minutes. It becomes 15 minutes. It becomes 20 minutes. It goes to be 30 minutes, and eventually the girl just says, “Okay, it was nice meeting you.” She excuses herself and she leaves because it was just a friend-to-friend interaction.
You feel pumped up. You feel great because you had a 30-minute conversation. But, it doesn’t lead anywhere because you were seeking permission to escalate, and girls are not going to help you in that regard.
They’re just going to keep talking there, following your lead. It’s your responsibility to be a leader in the interaction and to push things forward.
Another case in point: let’s say you’re at a bar and you’re dressed nice. Let’s say you’re even a really good-looking guy, and you’re standing there at the bar, you know looking for permission to approach a girl.
Girls are not going to initiate generally. Girls are passive creatures. They want to see the man take charge. They want to see the man lead and do things. If you’re just standing there as a good-looking guy, believe me you don’t get laid that much.
Now on the one hand, this makes things harder you know because you have to lead. Girls are really not going to help you. It’s all on your shoulder. Just make things happen. It’s all on your shoulders to make sure it’s a man-to-woman interaction not just a friend-to-friend interaction.
It’s all on your shoulders to make things go physical. It’s all on your shoulders to kiss her. It’s all on your shoulders to work out the logistics, to get her into your bed, but you know it’s a double-edged sword in that makes it more difficult.
It makes it more challenging, but it actually works in your favor if you understand the secret that if you lead and just not always seek permission but you instead lead and take charge, that you can really clean up because girls are not used to meeting guys who can lead like that. You basically nuke 99 percent of your competition because most men simply won’t lead in that sort of fashion.
Why are most guys passive and looking for the girl’s permission to move things forward?
Well, my personal pet theory on this is that we practice being followers throughout our entire life. You go to school and you practice being a follower. You practice seeking permission from your teachers in your homework assignments because you want to do well. Actually following and seeking permission can help you thrive in a school environment.
Same with the work environment ‑ most jobs want rather passive workers. They don’t necessarily need you to be a leader, so we’re always looking for permission from our boss to do anything.
In that kind of setting, you can thrive where you’re passive. I think passive entertainment also teaches us to be spectators where we’re teaching television and we’re just practicing passive emotions. You know we’re not using our decision-making muscles. We’re not leading groups of men or women.
So I think we’re practicing this passivity all day throughout our entire life, so then when it comes to women where it’s 100 percent on our shoulders, we can’t do it. We can’t do that heavy lifting because we haven’t built up those muscles.
Instead, we’re looking at it almost as like a television program that we’re watching where we’re just kind of passively going through the motions. Maybe we’re just talking to a girl, and it’s almost like this very passive feminine role that we’re taking on. It doesn’t lead anywhere because as men, we’re not leading the interaction.
One of the solutions is just to practice leading. Practice not seeking permission. Practice taking action. Practice taking initiative and becoming more reckless.
If you have a hard time doing that, maybe you need to examine other areas of your life where you can be practicing that more. For example at your school becoming a leader. At your work becoming more of a leader.
Not indulging in so much passive entertainment like video games, or watching porn, or watching television, which trains your brain to kind of shut off. Instead, you want to be doing maybe sports or social activities where you can at least have a chance to step up and lead other people and take action.
Remember: as a grown man, nobody really cares if you succeed or fail, and women certainly don’t care. This is not a handout. This is not a charity. Girls are not going to be helping you out. Girls are not going to give you petty sex.
It’s completely up to you whether you’re a leader and you are leading these girls and you’re taking charge and you’re becoming more reckless.
If you can’t do that, you’ve got to figure it out because just like all biological environments, all social environments, there’s a level of Darwinism involved here. The people best adapted to an environment are the ones that are going to succeed and reproduce with women.
If you’re not reproducing, if you’re not getting sex, you got to get that situation handled. It’s very important to do so and that means taking charge. That means stepping up. That means not seeking permission. That means becoming more reckless because women are not going to help you out.
They simply don’t care. The only woman that might care if maybe your mama, and I’m kind of betting that even your mama has pretty low expectations, has pretty you know mediocre aspirations for you. She only would like to see you maybe hook up with a girl that you would rate a 5 or a 6 and knock up a couple of kids and she’d be happy with that.
Even your mama probably doesn’t really care, so I’m the only one that cares. That’s why I’m up at freaking 6 o’clock in the morning to shoot this video for you.
So, women are not going to help you out. As soon as you come to accept that and you’re at peace with that and then you start building up that muscle of taking action and leading girls, you’re going to do way, way better.
Hi Jesse, back on the site after a while. I wonder if you could offer tips on the following topics…?
Non-monogamous relationships and their management….
Getting laid without having women fall in love with you….(this may sound like a ridiculous topic but I find that I consistently upset women and this really fucks with me emotionally – so much so that I have considered dropping meeting women on various occasions)…….I wonder if I am doing something wrong though to make girls fall in love with me when I only want to bang them…….
Hey Jesse,
I just had to share this article. I totally agree with you. Leadership is absolutely essential and it is true that everything in pick up and seduction is on the shoulders of the guys who want to seduce women.
It is our job to leader her to type her number in our phone. It is our job to go for the kiss and it is our job to escalate to sex. We have to lead her through the whole process.
great piece!
Your site led to so much pussy my junior year of high school. I’d read your shit while I ironed my school uniform in the morning.
Hahahaha your the man
That’s a great point. I think that leading an important role of a man not only in seducing a girl, but also in staying with her and creating a family with her. Girls expect us to lead in the relationship, take decisions and the best part is that they expect us to take the decisions that they also like. So we have to guess what they like, which makes smarter and compassionate men more competitive. To my understanding girls can complain very well, but can’t take action. We are the ones that need to do that either while building a relationship or while being in it.
Girls get irritated too when men don’t take initiative and make things clear… do it. We’ll fall in line.
This is very true, I had an ‘experimental’ relationship with a woman when my college semester started. I found out that leading them with visual, auditory, and physical cues helps tremendously when leading. Such as saying “Sit down with me” instead of “Want to sit down with me?” while patting the seat next to me and looking directly at her. It came to a huge success, she sat down and had a determined look in her eyes to want to talk to me. This video does describe the mentality of leading for men, though I’d say some examples of leading would be a fine video also!
Yes but u need her to invest at some point
Hahaha wow this make so much sense. In fact it makes way much more sense than the Change in my pocket. XD
Lol Jesse you cracked me with your ‘even your mama..” mini paragraph. Overall good stuff bruv, been checking out your website for almost 7 years now. Keep it up!