In this article Jesse wrote about why you must stop watching porn – I’m going to go deeper into this topic and talk about how you can use your growing sexual energy to attract amazing women.
In many ways, approaching women is simple – If you have approach anxiety, you aren’t horny enough. Try going 2 weeks without busting a nut and then tell me that you where too scared to go talk to the girl you liked.
Go a month without releasing and you’ll find yourself driving back to work for an important meeting after your lunch break, seeing a hot girl, ramming the car onto the side walk illegally and chasing after the girl to go talk to her. Seriously, this will happen to you and girls will love you for it.
Most women can tell if you have genuine attraction for them, or if you just want her validation or another notch on your belt.
Onwards…
The Tao of sexual energy
A question you may be asking yourself right now is “how can you go for so long without ejaculating?” To answer this question we’ll take a Taoist approach.
Taoists believe that a mans get his life force from his sexual drive, and recklessly depleting it through masturbation is the quickest way to lose motivation as well as a youthful ‘vim and vigor.’
Taoism teaches a technique called ‘the microcosmic orbit’ which draws sexual energy that has ‘stagnated’ in the balls, up through the spine into the top of the head, down from the pallet of the roof to the tongue and down the front of the body.
This is the best way to remove the ‘blue balls’ feeling that we get after refraining from ejaculation for a few days, or having sex but not releasing.
As a quick intro to the technique you can use the following, but if you’re looking for something more in depth then read The Tao Of Health Sex and Longevity, or any book by Mantak Chia.
So… visualize your sexual energy as a river that has flowed down into your genitals over time, as the energy stagnates in them you become more and more horny. In reality the energy has come from the rest of your body and it needs to be returned there in order to invigorate, heal and protect it and relieve the horny-ness.
Breathe deeply and as you exhale, imagine that river of energy flowing from your balls, into your perineum, up to the coccyx, lower spine, top of head. As you exhale, visualize the energy flowing back up. The energy should flow on the exhalation. If you’ve ever ‘wanked yourself into a coma’ as my friend used to say, (all your energy flows from your body into your balls and is released via ejaculation) this is effectively doing the opposite.
When the energy reaches the top of your head, touch your tongue to the roof of your mouth and visualize the energy (being moved by your breath flood down in the front of your body)
Congratulations, you are now a Taoist Sexual Master.
NOTE: This is also how you can f**k for hours without coming prematurely.
Though the technique seems hard to start with, keep practicing and it will become natural and enjoyable. Not only will you be able to go for hours, you’ll have a much higher sex drive and overall energy as well.
Going again
If you’ve read either of the books Your Brain On Porn, or Wack: Addicted To Internet Porn you’ll know that wacking off to porn severely reduces your sex drive. In those books the standard procedure recommended for guys quitting porn is a 90 day reboot – which means no ejaculations at all for 3 months. This gives your body a chance to fully recover and build up its stores ‘sexual essence’ as the Taoists would call it.
Practice the microcosmic orbit daily, and refrain from masturbating, and when you do hook up, you’ll be able to go again and again – becoming a ‘veritable fountain of semen’ as they say and impressing your lady with your insatiable lust for her and endless vigor.
Sexual confidence
So now you know how to use your own sexual energy for higher sex drive, more confidence, better ejaculation control and higher social and physical energy – now it’s time to channel that energy into sexual confidence – something women can see from a mile away and find super-attractive in guys.
When your body is full of the sexual energy that you’ve ‘breathed’ from your balls back into your body, you’ll begin to walk and talk in a sexually confident way – and women will love it, but equally important for sexual confidence is to become masterful in the bedroom.
Here are three ideas that will instantly boost your performance. Get these right and the women you’re with will not only want to sleep with you again and again but it will give you massive confidence to go out and meet more girls because you know you have what they want.
Foreplay
(I know you yawned when you read foreplay but that’s because you don’t know the trick to foreplay) The only goal of foreplay is to get the girl out of her head and into her body. If a woman is in a logical frame of mind it will be almost impossible for her to orgasm, so you’re goal is to physically wake her up and put her attention into her body – this way when you do go on to stimulate her directly the pleasure will be so much more intense and ultimately lead more swiftly to an orgasm for her.
Activities like play fighting, pillow fighting, wrestling etc. are all extremely good for this. It’s also the reason being aggressive and dominant works so well (and many women love it so much)
Passion and Letting Go
Most guys lack passion and are completely stiff and boring in bed. The psychological principle called ‘going first’ dictates that whatever state you want her to be in, you must first get into yourself. So if you want her to be passionate, let go and go wild in bed, you have to facilitate this by going first. Btw, ask any woman to describe the best sex of her life and you can be sure its going to involve the words “passionate” “going wild” “animalistic.”
But you first need to let go and be passionate yourself. Especially when eating her out passion is what separates the novices from the pros. No girl wants to get her pussy licked by a guy who does so grudgingly.
Most women are insecure about the smell, taste and look of their v-j-j-s (and feeling insecure is going to put her back into a logical frame of mind.) But if you’re eating her out and loving every moment she’ll stop worrying and start enjoying. The same goes for intercourse.
Technicalities
As men we like to focus on the technical side of love-making and no doubt, it’s important. But it’s also probably the easier part for most guys to get right. So make sure you learn more about foreplay and being passionate first.
If you really want to take your pussy game to the next level you can go learn how to make a girl squirt at School of Squirt. Squirting orgasms are one of the most powerful and intense orgasms that women can have. It’s also pretty damn fun for both of you when she drenchs the bed sheets.
However, for her to squirt you’ll have to make sure you set the frame right from the start. This means being completely non-judgmental and free from outcome. It also means being kind, passionate and helping her let go of her fear and insecurities.
If the girl feels any pressure to squirt, she won’t be able to, or if she feels that she will be judged or made to feel weird if she does, she won’t. Being non-judgmental and creating freedom from outcome aren’t necessarily things that happen just in the bedroom, she will get the right vibe from you from when you first meet, and if you get it wrong from the start, it will be hard to change her mind about you later on.
So, in conclusion, don’t waste you energy (both literally and figuratively speaking) wacking off to porn. Learn how to control and master your sex drive and watch as your approach anxiety fades away, women become instantly sexually attracted to you and both your sex drive and overall energy increases. Learn what it takes to give women the time of their lives in the bedroom, starting with foreplay, passion and then on to the technical side of things.
Axel runs School Of Squirt in his spare time, when he isn’t meeting girls and making them squirt.
when you feel it start to slip you need to spice it up and be a bit more adventurous