17 Lessons about Love I Learned On an Epic 5 Year Journey around the World

Five years ago I made the decision to travel all around the world. This decision led to an epic journey that allowed me to find myself, to seduce some of the most beautiful women in the world, and to grow as a man.

In 2017 I will move to another country in order to begin a new life with the woman of my dreams. She is everything I ever wanted and I love her more every day.

Now you might ask yourself: “What happened in between?”

That’s a good question.

I began my journey with the desire to live a life of freedom and complete independence. In other words, I wanted to explore the world and experience unforgettable adventures with stunning women. Ending up in a relationship was the last thing I wanted. I didn’t even think about falling in love and meeting the woman of my dreams was definitely not on my bucket list.

I wanted to be independent. I wanted to be a free-spirited seducer.

But things changed pretty quickly. The desire to be free turned into the desire for togetherness. My need for independence developed into a need for love.

After five years on the road I learned more about love than I could have ever imagined.

1. Self-Love is the first step

You can’t expect someone to love you unless you love yourself.

I know that it sounds like a cliché from a romance novel, but it’s the truth.

I learned it the hard way. I tried to attract incredible women when I was at a stage in my life where I didn’t love myself. Believe me, it doesn’t work. You can only attract something that is on the same frequency, and if you don’t love yourself you are not on the right frequency to make high quality women fall in love with you.

2. Most men confuse desire with love

Just because you are attracted to a woman doesn’t mean that you are in love with her. Yes, she might have the most amazing body you’ve ever seen, but your desire for physical contact and intimacy has nothing to do with love.

As a nomad who desperately searched for feelings whenever I met a beautiful woman on the road, I can testify this. Unfortunately, a lot of men confuse desire with love and end up in relationships that are anything but loving.

3. Even more men confuse being with someone with being in love

I can’t remember how many times I thought that I was in love when I wasn’t. Whenever I enjoyed being with a woman, I automatically assumed that it was the beginning of a love story.

Pretty naïve, huh?

Well, as it turned out, spending time with a beautiful woman isn’t the same as being in love with her. Just because you enjoy being with her, kissing her and sleeping with her doesn’t mean that you are meant to be.

4. The fear of love leads to loneliness

Yes, I admit it. I was afraid of love.

But I’m definitely not the only person with this problem. Millions of men all over the world have the same fear.

They are afraid that they will get hurt. They are afraid to show the world that they are not perfect. In other words, they are afraid to take off their mask.

Change and improvement, however, are only possible if you face your fears and overcome them.

5. Unconditional love can hurt the most

What does it mean to love someone unconditionally?

It means that you love someone without limitations and conditions. While this is a very romantic concept, it can lead to a lot of pain and broken hearts.

Imagine you love a woman unconditionally and she changes in a negative way. She transforms from t the sweetest person on earth into a disrespectful brat.

It’s easy to leave when you love her conditionally. The condition changes and you are ready to pack your suitcase. It’s a lot harder to leave when your love is unconditional.

6. Love doesn’t know race

I’m a Caucasian male and my girlfriend is Asian. I met a lot of black men who had white girlfriends. And I also met quite a few Asian men who lived in fulfilling relationships with their black girlfriends.

The truth is that love doesn’t know race.

When you love someone you should embrace it and enjoy every second. Don’t be ashamed of it. Even though some people think that interracial relationships are not normal, it should be normal for everyone.

7. Many people run away from love

Running away is easy. Quitting is easy.

What about having some guts and fighting for love?

Well, that’s a lot harder.

And that’s why a lot of men chose to run and hide as soon as love knocks on their door. I was one of them until I met my wonderful girlfriend. Whenever a woman fell in love with me I got a panic attack and ran away as fast as I could. I must have done this more than a dozen times.

God, I’m so glad that I didn’t run this time.

8. You Need to Take Action to Attract Love

Love doesn’t just show up. You need to take action.

Running away from love is not the only problem that men all over the world have to deal with. Most men don’t even walk towards it. They sit at home hoping and wishing that the woman of their dreams will magically show up.

The way they imagine to find love reminds me of a common porn fantasy. The shy and insecure guy sits at home and suddenly, as if it was magic, a blonde bombshell knocks on his door. Yep, that’s what a lot of guys dream of. But just because you dream something doesn’t mean that it will become reality.

Real life is not a movie. The truth is that you will never attract love until you take action. Women don’t just magically fall in love with you. Your beautiful colleague can only fall in love with you if you approach her, if you start a conversation with her and if you give her the chance to get to know you.

If you don’t take action, nothing will happen.

All you have to do is to approach women. Of course the fact that you approach her doesn’t mean that she will fall in love with you, but approaching is definitely the first step towards love. And if you follow the right steps, your chance to succeed is extremely high.

What if you don’t know how to approach women?

Don’t worry. The following infographic that was originally published on this article about starting a conversation with a woman shows you exactly how to approach women and which steps you need to follow to make her fall for you.

(click on the infographic below to view it)


9. Men all over the world believe in Disney’s definition of love

No matter if I talked to friends in the USA or to a group of travelers that I met in Thailand, they all believed in a version of love that’s more than unrealistic.

I call it Disney’s definition of love.

It’s the belief that love is always beautiful and romantic, without any ups and downs.  As a result of this belief, couples all over the world give up on their relationship as soon as the first argument arises.

Honestly, this is one of the biggest mistakes you can possibly make. The idea that a relationship is always perfect, 24 hours a day and 365 days a year, is completely unrealistic and leads to more unnecessary breakups than anything else.

I love my girlfriend more than anything in the world, but that doesn’t mean that we don’t have arguments. Every couple has moments where they disagree. That’s normal. Please don’t make the mistake to assume that you are in a bad relationship, just because your girlfriend doesn’t agree with every word you say.

10. Honesty is the cornerstone of love

Without honesty the emotional roof that you build for you and for the woman you love will collapse. Without honesty, your relationship is doomed to fail.

Again, I learned this the hard way. Even if it’s just a small lie, sooner or later the truth will come out. Be honest from the start and you save yourself a lot of trouble.

11. Love doesn’t heal everything

Love has a healing power, but it doesn’t heal everything.

Since I’m together with my girlfriend I had to face my inner demons. Her love and support helped me a lot but emotional trauma can be so deep that love doesn’t reach it.

In other words, you still have to work on yourself. You can’t expect your partner to make you happy, no matter how much you love her and how much she loves you. There are things in your life that you have to deal with on your own.

Don’t allow love to destroy your independence and your ability to care for yourself.

12. Love says hello when you don’t expect it

Somehow it’s crazy.

When you desperately want a girlfriend who loves you, love hides around the corner. But when all you want to do is to have a couple of one-night stands and falling in love is the last thing you expect, it hits you harder than Mike Tyson’s fist.

Love said hello when I didn’t expect it and the same might happen to you. It’s on you if you open the door for your uninvited guest or if you lock your heart

13. Respect and love go hand in hand

If you think you love a woman, but you don’t treat her with respect, then you are only in love with the idea of being in love.

Respect and love go hand in hand. If you don’t treat your girlfriend with respect, you don’t love her. Unfortunately, there are quite a few men nowadays who neither love nor respect women. As a result, these men attract one emotionally abusive relationship after another.

Believe me when I say that you don’t want to be one of them.

14. Some women just don’t love you back

It’s not your fault. That’s just how it is.

Not every beautiful woman you fall in love with feels the same for you. Love can hurt. It can hurt a lot. I broke enough hearts during my five-year journey and I’m not proud of it.

That’s why it’s so important that you don’t give up until you find the perfect girl who loves you back. Always remember, settling down with the wrong woman is way worse than staying alone.

15. You might not be ready for love

Maybe you are just not ready for love. And that’s okay.

I didn’t expect to meet the woman of my dreams, but when I met her I was more than ready for love. Now I’m in a fulfilling relationship.

Of course I met other women before her, but I wasn’t ready. Today I am happy that I waited.

16. Drama and love are not the same

Disney is not the only company that has ruined the way we think about love. There are thousands upon thousands of movies that use an equation that is plain out wrong.

What equation?

Love = Drama

Countless of movies and series make us believe that love has to be dramatic. As a result, we think that something is wrong with our relationship when we are not jealous and when being in love with a woman doesn’t hurt.

The truth is that you relationship is perfect when you don’t have these emotions.

17. Falling in love is not the same as being in love

Falling in love is exciting, especially when you are in a foreign country. Your emotions jump up and down and you have the feeling that you are the main character in your own heroic movie.

The problem, however, is that a lot of men don’t realize that falling in love and being in love is not the same. Falling in love is exciting and passionate. Being in love is not about being on an emotional roller coaster. It’s about being there for each other.

I know from my own experience that you are a lot happier when you stop chasing the feeling of falling in love and start enjoying the feeling of being in love.

Sebastian Harris runs the site Global Seducer

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