Today I want to share with you the secret to getting incredible core confidence that you can just go up to an amazing stunning beautiful woman, give her a smile, look her right in the eye, start flirting, start chatting her up, make her feel relaxed, comfortable because you feel chill, relaxed, comfortable, make her feel feelings for you that no other guy can give her because you just have this incredible smooth aura about you.
You don’t have this crippling approach anxiety when you see a beautiful woman. That is pretty much like the holy grail of what every guy wants and this is something that you can develop. This is the secret to developing that incredible level of confidence.
What you have to understand about confidence is that it’s not something that you get overnight. It’s not like a move you can make or like a psychological shift you can just decide you’re going to do or new belief you can install in a couple of hours.
Getting that incredible confidence requires that you push your comfort zone a little bit everyday over time.
Getting that level of confidence means subjecting yourself to small amounts of environmental stress over a period of time consistently.
It’s just like if you want to develop an incredible beach body. Let’s say just great pecs, nice six-pack, so you can go to the beach, take off your shirt, get girls turning their heads, look at you, feel great, look great. Well you can’t expect to go to the gym and just start like bench-pressing 200 pounds on your first day. That’s a little trick to get this incredible ripped body.
Building Confidence Is Like Building A Body
The process would look more like you go to the gym and you can barely bench 100 pounds.
Let’s say the bar is 30. You put a 35-pound weight on each side. You got 100 pounds there, and you can barely eke out maybe four repetitions, so you do four repetitions. You do another set of four repetitions. Maybe you do a third set of two repetitions. I mean you really suck or you’re just having trouble.
But what you do is you write down what you did for that day, so four, five days later when you get back to your chest, you’re doing another chest workout, maybe now, you say, “Okay, the four repetitions, four repetitions, two repetitions, I’m going to beat that a little bit.” So now maybe, you do repetitions.
On the second set, you do six repetitions, and on the third set, you do five repetitions.
Then four or five days later, maybe you do 10 repetitions, 10 repetitions, 10 repetitions of 100 pounds and now you can bench 100 pounds pretty easily.
Then the next day you look at your log or journal and you say, “Okay, I did 100 pounds. I’m going to add a 2-1/2 pound weight on to each side.” So instead of 100 pounds, now I’m going to start bench pressing 105 pounds.”
That is how you eventually get to 200 pounds bench press over the course of a year because you’re either increasing the amount of repetitions you’re doing or you are gradually adding a little bit of weight.
You are subjecting your chest muscles to environmental stress consistently over time.
You are pushing the comfort zone of your chest muscles consistently over time, and it can take a long time.
But because it requires consistency and dedication, so few guys can do it and if you actually follow through, you’re going to have a beautiful chest. You’re going to have a more beautiful body than 99.9 percent of other men.
Building Confidence Is Like Climbing The Corporate Ladder
That’s the advantage of why it’s difficult is because so few guys will follow through that you’re really going to stand out.
But it’s not an overnight thing just like if you want to have the executive position in a company with an incredible salary, you can’t expect to just walk into Wal-Mart as entry level position and then expect in the first week that they’re going to promote you to being an executive. It’s not going to work like that.
Instead of what people do is they get the job. They try to do as little as possible or if the boss is looking at them, they try to pretend that they’re busy.
Instead, you would be pushing your comfort zone a little bit each week on your job. You would every week try to take on a little bit more responsibility. Every week, you would try to learn new things, so that over time you can position yourself as being indispensible to the company.
They cannot fire you because you just know too much. They cannot replace you very easily and then maybe over the course of the year, over the course of a couple of years, you keep pushing yourself, giving yourself more and more responsibility becoming an indispensible asset to the corporation, then maybe you can get the raise.
Maybe you can get the promotion, and eventually someone will recognize your talent, recognize your dedication, recognize that you are indispensible, and then possibly you could rise to be having an executive pickup.
Most Guys Want The Cheap Way
In pickup, what guys really want is just to learn a move or a technique or a line that they can learn in a couple of minutes, go out, meet a beautiful woman, drag her back to his man cave, seduce her very quickly and then have nothing to do with pickup ever again.
He does not want to be pushing his comfort zone.
He wants to stay comfortable.
That’s why he’s seeking a quick magic bullet because he doesn’t want to subject himself to environmental stress consistently over a period of time, but that kind of mentality is like, “Okay, I’m going to go to the gym and just right away start benching 200 pounds because I want to have a beautiful body.”
It doesn’t work like that or I want to become rich, and I’m going to go get an executive position at Wal-Mart, even though I have no business experience. It doesn’t work like that either. Why should it work with pickup?
Even if you do learn a cool line, or technique or move, something that a cool guy would say or something that a cool guy would do, you’re not going to feel confident enough even to go up to that beautiful woman anyway because you’re going to shaking in your boots.
Or even if you do go up to her, she’s going to realize pretty quickly that it’s just a façade. This is a little technique you’re throwing out there. You don’t really feel entitled to her. You feel maybe that the technique is entitled o the girl.
She’s going to realize that you’re not confident. It’s not going to be attractive. It’s not going to work.
Building Confidence Takes Time
Instead how you actually build real core confidence in a sexy way that’s attractive to woman is maybe first you just go up to maybe an old woman, ask her for directions and that feels incredibly uncomfortable.
But after you do it two or three times, you realize you’re not going to die and it’s not so bad.
Maybe the next time you ask an old woman her opinion on something, that feels incredibly uncomfortable, but you’re pushing your comfort zone a little bit and eventually the second or third time, it starts to feel normal.
Then maybe you go up to a pretty girl or a younger girl and ask her for an opinion. Maybe then you go up to two sets of girls like a girl and her friend or maybe you go out to a nightclub at a bar and then start talking, chatting some people up. They could just be other guys and get used to that situation.
Pushing your comfort zone, pushing the envelope of what you’re used to, subjecting yourself to environmental stress a little bit.
Eventually you’re going to be able to go up to prettier and prettier girls and up to more stressful social situations because developing that kind of confidence takes time, consistency over time.
That is the reality of it. That’s how you develop indifference. That’s how you rewire your brain to get over your fears and limitations.
Embrace The Process!
One way to look at this is instead of fearing, pushing your comfort zone, instead of trying to run away from that, embrace it!
I mean pushing your comfort zone can be one of the funniest aspects of meeting women.
It’s where the thrill and the excitement and the growth occurs.
It’s that healing afterwards that you’ve done something completely awesome, when you’ve gone up to a girl and even if you don’t get her, that’s not the purpose.
It’s that you feel like you want to adventure. You say to yourself who else would have done that?
You get a rush. You get this thrill of adrenaline that makes you feel good, makes you feel alive, makes you feel like you do something with your day and you grow as a person.
Your personality grows. The expression of yourself grows and this constant pushing of yourself to grow and push your limits is what becomes addictive about it. You want to become comfortable with being uncomfortable. That is the key.
By stepping out of your comfort zone and putting a little bit of environmental pressure on yourself, every single day so that you can grow in confidence and get that indifference.
So you can go up to that stunning, amazing, beautiful woman, look her right in the eye, give her a smile, flirt around with her. Talk, chat, with a very calm-centered chill energy and be able to do it in a way that no other guy can give her that experience.
She’s thinking to herself, “Wow! This is a cool, calm guy. He’s giving me great eye contact. Great smile. Flirtatious. I’m having a good time. He’s making me feel comfortable. He’s making me feel relaxed. No other man has come up to me that way.”
You can build incredible attraction in women very easily. Just push your comfort zone a little bit each day and you can develop incredible amount of core confidence.
1 thought on “How To Build The Confidence To Talk To Girls”
yup, confidence is just like everything else, if you put in the effort and work to improve then it will come