https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=koUWOL-cWh0
I want to talk about what it’s like to game girls when you are approaching 40 or past your 40s versus in your early 20s. What’s the difference?
Well, one of the big differences I found is that your body becomes more sensitive to abuse.
When you are 18, 19, 20 years old, you can stay up really late at night. You can hammer back a bunch of drinks. You can go to McDonald’s, eat a bunch of hamburgers, and French fries, and soda and you can more easily bounce back the next morning. I mean you might wake up late and have a hangover but you could still go to sports practice. Maybe you could still study. You could still get your work done. You have this propensity for bouncing back quickly.
What declines as you get older, when you hit your mid 30s is that ability to bounce back.
Now that I’m approaching 40, I can’t stay up way past my normal sleeping schedule and pile back a bunch of drinks and go to McDonald’s or Burger King and eat a bunch of junk food. The next morning, I’m going to be trashed. You know I won’t be able to get any work done. I won’t be able to shoot any videos. I won’t have energy or the motivation to really get outside of the house.
It’s not that as you get older, you have to lose your energy or your drive or your motivation, or it doesn’t mean you have to get lazy or you can’t grind around as much. I can lift more weights now than I could 15 years ago, for example. I mean I’m stronger. I have more muscle in my body. The difference is again that issue of bouncing back.
With Age Comes The Narrow Path
As you get older, you have to walk a narrower and narrower road to stay on track.
When you’re in your early 20s, you don’t have to follow good habits. You can still feel young. You can eat shit food. You don’t have to exercise, and you will still have vitality.
But as you get older, you have to walk a more narrow road of good health, good sleeping habits, reducing stress, and not eating junk food, putting nutritious foods in your body that will fuel yourself.
This also means that as you get older, you have less room for stepping off the correct path. As you get older, you cannot be a dabbler as much. When you are in your early 20s, you’re 18 or 19 and you’re like, “Okay, I’m interested in learning pickup, but I just want to dabble. I just want to maybe cold approach a girl once in a while. I’ll just watch a couple of videos here and there. I’m not going to take it seriously. I’ll try to settle a little bit for a couple of weeks but then I’m going to get focused on my classes.”
That’s kind of dabbling. It’s not like you’re really getting into it, to really get good, to really hammer that skill home.
With Age Comes Less Room For Dabblers
Now as you get older, say you’re 40, you have less room to dabble. If you are just going to dabble and maybe once in a while get out of the house to do an approach, I mean, look man time is not on your side. You’ve got to take it more seriously.
Also with your health, your nutrition, the gym. You can’t be dabbling around in the gym. You can’t be dabbling around with eating proper nutrition. If you’re just dabbling like I’ll try stuff out but you’re not taking it dead seriously, you are not going to have the energy to go out and meet girls. You are not going to have the sexual vitality to get your dick up or to have sexual motivation to go meet women if you are putting junk in your body or you’re not physically working out as you should be. It’s something that a young guy can get away with.
A young guy can get away with being a dabbler and he can get some results. He could put maybe 20 percent effort in pickup and get 20 percent of the results. If you are 40 years old, it’s not going to be like that.
I mean, take a more extreme example. Let’s say you are 65 years old. How are you going to get results if you are a dabbler, if you are not following a narrow path?
When you become 65 years old and you want to do well in pickup, you’ve got to walk a very, very tight path, a very narrow path of good habits, so you have the energy and you have the health to go out and meet women and you’ve got to take it more seriously.
It can’t be just like a one-day-a-month sort of thing that you’re going to watch some videos. It’s not going to work like that. You are running out of time. That is really the difference between being a younger man and an older man. If on a boot camp or if I’m doing one-on-one training, the pickup advice is pretty much the same. It’s pretty similar for a guy who’s 18 versus a guy who’s 40; not a whole lot changes.
Actually, a guy who is later on in life has some particular advantages over a guy who’s maybe 18, or 19, or 20. But the big difference again is that you have to dedicate more time to it, you have to make it a bigger part of your life, and you can’t be a dabbler and you have to walk a narrow road of good habits.
Good points LJ, condoms are a must
In terms of pickup – I just turned 30 and the game has never been easier. The years spent in the field in my 20s are showing now and I also have more general life-experience to draw on.
I’ve set my stall out for the next 8-10 years. I plan on continuing to game, travel, maybe have the odd girl I see more regularly. I believe the next 8 years may well be a peak for me in the field. Moving towards 40 I believe I may reach a point when I want to have a family and take a more mainstream role in my community.
One issue that I’m aware of more as I begin to date women in their late 20s and early 30s is pregnancy. I personally have never got a woman pregnant – but a lot of guys I know have had unwanted pregnancies and have been stuck in emotionally difficult situations and in some cases ended up having to pay child-support for a kid that they never wanted with a woman they would never wish to be the mother of their child. You have got to watch out. In the modern world man has no control over proceedings once he has ejaculated. The girl and the courts can totally rinse you emotionally and financially.
I’m not the biggest fan of condoms but they’re kind of a necessity. I also often prefer other sexual activity with a woman other than intercourse as there is no risk in that.
Any thoughts on this topic?
Good points LJ, condoms are a must
One question I have regards the emotional turmoil that even casual relationships can cause. Typically I find myself in turmoil – mainly a feeling of guilt because I know that any woman who comes into my life has a limited life-span. It sounds harsh – but I know the game – in reality – until I want to settle down and have kids, any woman in my life is temporary.
The impact of this is a sense of guilt. Whatever feminism would have us believe – once a woman finds a decent guy who’s high-status and fucks her right – she wants to settle with him and pump out his babies – it’s simply her instincts kicking in.
I’ve experienced this time and time again as I’m sure many guys have. Everything is fun and adventurous at the beginning – but after a while I long for pastures new while the woman has become more invested.
The outcome of this has been break-up after break-up. Even sometimes after seeing a woman just a few times they lose their shit when I break it off with them. It’s a good problem to have – but at the same time – emotionally it takes it’s toll on me – I shouldn’t feel evil just because I want to be free and I end up feeling guilty for ‘breaking their heart’ even though I warned them from the outset I’m not the settling down guy right now.
How do you deal with the turmoil of consistently breaking up with women? It would be great to see a video on this as it’s rarely discussed in pickup – yet it is the end result of all the techniques and mindsets that are being taught. If you’re successful in game, this is by definition a problem that you must deal with.
LJ, this post may interest you: http://www.seductionscience.com/2012/why-successful-guys-should-avoid-exclusive-girlfriends/
Probably best bet is you should only date girls that are bi-sexual and will do threesomes with you, and you should be up front about it very quickly with the girl… like right after first sleeping with her, take her out to meet girls so that she knows the deal.
Be always “upfront and straightforward” as Alan Roger Currie puts it. Tell her way before you hop into bed with her for the first time what the deal is. You may be doing this already.
Second: never treat her like a girlfriend ever, never ever. No dinners, no romantic walk, no weekends together etc and so on. Because that’s where you make her false expectations grow and that backfires badly when you break up.
If you stick to these rules there’s absolutely no reason to feel guilty.