I want to talk about how it’s not your job to make every single girl you meet like you.
A lot of girls are just going to be basically neutral towards you. You might meet a couple of girls who don’t really vibe with you at all, and you get to meet a couple of girls that you have incredible sexual chemistry with.
So over the course of a week, you might meet two or three really amazing girls that you really click with, that you really have a good time with, you give them your number, and they’re eager for you to hit them back, and you meet up with them. You have a great time. You have a great day.
Maybe at least to sex, maybe it doesn’t, but regardless, you have great sexual chemistry; these couple of girls really like you.
Those are the couple of girls during the week that you are after, that you want to meet, and it’s not your job to make all the other girls fall in love with you or even like you.
To illustrate this point, let’s take a hypothetical example where you are tall, you are really good-looking.
You’ve got this muscular build.
You’ve got an enormous cock that every girl just wants to put their mouth on if they only knew how big your cock was.
You started a multimillion business from scratch. You’re a millionaire and you’re dressed well.
Not only that, but you’ve given so much to the world. You’re a public speaker and you’ve inspired millions of people and you started an international aid foundation and lifted millions out of poverty and helped to bring world peace to the world.
You’ve got this incredible long line of credentials about why you are the most interesting, most incredible man on the planet.
Yet if you want every single girl to like you, you could approach a rather unattractive girl with no credentials.
She doesn’t have her life together.
She’s done nothing with her life.
She’s not educated.
She doesn’t care about her nutrition.
She has sloppy habits.
You go up to her and for whatever reason, she isn’t just that into you.
Maybe you are too much for her.
She doesn’t feel comfortable being around you like whatever the reason, but because you’re trying to make every single person you talk to like you, you are putting control into that woman’s hands even though you have this long line of credentials as being the most incredible man on earth and she’s like the opposite.
Now when she doesn’t like you, you feel deflated. You feel down. Your emotions go haywire. You’re putting how you feel into the control of this random person that you are probably not even attracted to at all. I mean how whack is that?
The Empty Bucket
So that’s a rather extreme example to illustrate a point, but if you’re trying to get every single girl to like you and that’s what you’re after, you’re basically like an empty bucket with holes on the bottom and no matter how much water you pour into that bucket, it’s never going to fill up.
No matter how much validation and the ego-stroking women give you, you’re never going to feel satisfied. You’re never going to feel happy.
You’re never going to feel fulfilled because again you just have holes on the bottom.
No matter how much attention and validation girls give you, it’s just going to fall out the bottom. You could talk to three beautiful women and these beautiful women each in succession are eye fucking you and giving you great attention, great responses. They’re really into you.
Then you go up to that fourth beautiful woman and for whatever reason, you’re not just her type or she’s not jus feeling your vibe, or you’re just having an off conversation whatever the reason, and she doesn’t give you that same kind of validation, that same kind of ego-stroking, then you feel deflated.
You feel down, and the problem with that is that your emotions are like a roller coaster.
You get positive attention. You feel great about yourself. you feel elated. That’s all right, but then you get negative attention or no attention and you deflate and your feelings go downwards, so it’s like up and down, up and down, up and down.
You have no control over it.
That’s what gives you approach anxiety and makes you nervous talking to girls because you’re depending on how you feel based on how other people respond to you.
You’re giving them the power over how you feel, and because you don’t control how you feel internally, it’s scary because you go up to a girl and you’re like, “Oh, my gosh! Am I going to feel terrible after talking to this girl? Am I going to feel deflated?”
So you don’t want to approach girls at all because you’re not in control of your feelings.
Basically if you want every single girl like you and that’s your goal is just to be liked by women, it’s pretty terrible. It gives you approach anxiety. It makes you nervous to talk to girls because you’re just on this roller coaster of positive and then negative emotions.
Or take my Seduction Science videos like this training video that you’re watching right now.
There’s a small niche group of guys that really like the vibe of how I present things, how I teach.
They are subscribers to my channels.
When a YouTube video comes up, they watch it right away because it shows up in their feed and they like the video, and if you’re one of my fans, I really appreciate it guys. I love you guys.
But of course, there’s a much bigger group of men that are not really into pickup. They might have a mild interest, but generally they don’t really care. They don’t think that they need this advice for themselves. They don’t think that they need to improve with girls.
They just want to stay in their comfort zone, whatever the reason. I don’t really care and if it’s not my job to convert everybody to doing cold approaching.
I mean how weird would that be if the 3 billion men on this planet all got into cold approaching and any time a girl walk down the street, there is like this zombie apocalypse swarm of 100 dudes jumping on her to say hello and cold approach her.
That would be pretty weird, so I don’t need to convert all the men in the world to my style.
If there’s other pickup coaches. Maybe some guys are just going to resonate with other coaches more, and that’s cool. I’m just worried about providing value to the guys that resonate with my style of game, that resonate with my style of teaching.
I mean imagine if I had a student and he paid $1,000 or $2,000 to take some one-on-one training. He pays to fly down on an airplane. He pays for a hotel. He shows up in front of me, so even just the act of showing up, he’s already invested a lot of time and money and he’s like, “Okay, I’m really eager to learn from you, Jesse. I really vibe with how you present things, so teach me.”
I say to him, “Wait a second! There’s another guy right over here who doesn’t know anything about cold approaching. He doesn’t know who I am. He doesn’t freaking care, but I’m going to make him care because this is pissing me off that he doesn’t think that I’m god.”
So I’m going to spend 5 hours debating this other guy, this random dude to convince him how wrong he is, the wrong path he’s on, and how he should be watching my YouTube channel.
So even though you paid a couple of thousand dollars, you’re just going to have to wait until tomorrow while I beat this guy into the ground and convince him what is right and what is wrong.
I mean how ridiculous does that sound? I’m really more interested in taking care of the guys that have the same niche and interests as me.
In the same way, you don’t need to make every single girl like.
You just want to take care of those couple of girls you have great sexual chemistry with, so during the course of a week, you’re going to meet two or three amazing women that you get along very well with.
You can show them a good time. you could become lovers with them. you could just be great friends with them. That’s cool, too, and focus on them.
It’s not about making every single girl like you. You want to get away from that mindset.