I want to talk about a mindset shift that’s going to really help you feel like you’re achieving more and having more fun when it comes to approaching women.
Now most guys, they have a goal in mind. They want to get a girlfriend, or they want to get laid, or they want to build a certain lifestyle and they put a very heavy outcome on having girls like them and achieving those goals, so they become very conservative.
Say a girl is walking by far up ahead and they’re like, “Okay, the logistics aren’t good. I’m not going to do that approach.”
Or, “I’m not in my best state, or I’m looking my best, so I’m not going to approach a girl.”
So, what you want to do instead is shift your goal to creating the adventure.
You’re like the Indiana Jones of pickup where you’re going to go out of your way to create a day of adventure where say a girl walks by. You make eye contact with her and it’s kind of awkward and weird and she walks on, and you don’t do anything.
You’re like, “I really should go, talk to that girl, but it will just feel like the weirdest thing ever if I do it now. I know of missed my moment.”
But you just run up to her and do it anyway, and yes, it’s going to be a little awkward. Yeah, it’s going to be weird, but you’re creating a story. You’re creating something that’s a memory that you’re going to remember like when you’re 80 years old, you’re going to look back on that day and say, think to yourself, “Yeah, I really lived the life.”
You’re going to go to sleep that evening and say, “Okay, yeah. I gave it my all. I really pushed things forward. I had a really interesting day, and I went on the adventure.”
It kind of shifts what you consider success because before it’s like, “Okay, I have to make the girl like me for it be a success. I have to get her into bed for it to be a success.”
But now every approach, every walk up you do can be success if you push it, if you change your mindset to making it about creating an adventure for yourself, you’re just going to have a lot more fun.
You’re going to get into a lot more cool situations because a lot of your best successes will just come through serendipity, not where you had everything planned out, not where you were in your best state and looking your best, but actually just in some of the weirdest situations.
Maybe you might talk to the most beautiful girl that you’ve seen that day or you’re thinking, “Okay, this doesn’t have a chance. I’ve already fucked this up.”
The logistics are bad, but you just go do it anyway for the sake of adventure and that is the set that really snags. That is the set that you really hook her in and she’s really interested in you, even though maybe before you did this set, you’re thinking, “Okay, this has like a zero percent chance of working.”
A lot of your best girls that you met, that you get to know that can become your girlfriend happen in those weird situations where you really push yourself.
Changing your mindset, changing your goals from wanting to get a girlfriend or wanting to get laid to pushing yourself to create that adventure, creating the most adventurous day possible where you can get into some really ridiculous situations can make all the difference in the results that you’re going to get.
7 thoughts on “The Adventure Mindset: Girls Like Risk Takers!”
I love this adventure mindset idea. I find the way to apply it is that I think to myself – next week I’ll be a week older and either I’ll have had some adventures or I’ll have lived a boring shitty week – I find it important to stress that sense of urgency – time is passing – don’t waste it.
Last Saturday for example – I randomly texted this fresher chick that I met during the week but hardly know – killer body and quirky personality. She was up for an adventure – so was I – we ended up going out having a great time, dancing and kissing – the adventure went too far when I shared a joint with her and ended up having to bail as I’m not a weed smoker lol……but fuck it…I survived and had a good adventure while a lot of my buddies my age (30) are content to stay in with girlfriends/wives or just have a timid little drink somewhere. I love the adventure and the risk – it makes you feel alive…..like your molding the universe in new crazy ways while most people stick to the same old patterns….
Great examples LJ
Hey I found no other place to ask, but what is your experience with picking up girls in Hawaii?
Is it easy/difficult in comparison to Europe / USA?
Never been ..!
I am very surprised..!
I found your blog through the Florianapolis Post from 2008, I wonder if things have changed 🙂 A friend from there says it’s really cool there, just the mosquitos are bad sometimes…
What would you say is a better time investment pickup wise – learning Italian or Protuguese?
Btw your Blog is very cool
The “adventure mindset” is one of my favorites… got a question, let me know!