We are covering eye contact, magnetic eye contact, the kind of eye contact that just draws the girl in like a magnet in an irresistible way where she’s like, “Holy shit! There’s something different about this guy! There’s something unique about this guy, and I can’t quite place my finger on it, but every time he looks at me, I get these butterflies in my stomach and it feels amazing.”
We’re going to cover how to do that kind of eye contact today, as well as the inner game that goes on inside your head that allows you to give that piercing eye contact to a girl.
Now for myself personally, I’ve always had trouble making eye contact with other people, other men for example.
Making eye contact with a man always felt like a threat, it felt aggressive. It’s like two big male gorilla apes in a room locking eyes with one another. That’s a stance of aggression and it always kicked in my fight-or-flight response, so I always feel terribly uncomfortable and avert my gaze when there was another man.
Why I Couldn’t Make Eye Contact With Women
Likewise, with women, I’d avoid making eye contact because I always feel this little bit of sexual tension, a little bit of sexual connection whether real or imagined, but nonetheless I felt uncomfortable. All I want to do was blend in with the woodwork. I just wanted to bury that sexual tension, I want to hide it, so I’d avert my gaze. I’d never make eye contact with girls either.
As you can imagine, the result was very emotionally flat conversations, conversations that were very friend to friend, that lacked any kind of sexual tension whatsoever, very boring conversations where the girls would always be like, “All right, it was nice to meet you. good talking to you. good bye!” I was done!
But whereas as men sometimes perceive eye contact as being a threat, as being aggressive, women perceive eye contact very differently.
How Women Perceive Eye Contact
Women use eye contact as a gauge to determine your social status in the social hierarchy.
If you have trouble holding eye contact, that’s a strong sign, it’s a strong tell that you are lower value, that you occupy a lower position on the totem pole, that you have lower social status. Whereas if you are able to hold eye contact, that’s a strong tell that you are entitled, that you are confident, that you are a leader, that you hold higher social status in the hierarchy as well as studies have shown that men who hold eye contact, women perceive them to be more competent, as more trustworthy, as leaders of groups.
Look at it this way, my friend. Whether you can hold eye contact or not with a girl comes down to your level of entitlement.
Say you’re talking to a girl and she’s absolutely stunning. She’s amazingly beautiful. This causes to go into a trance, into a hypnosis where your palms are getting sweaty, your mouth is dry, you go up inside your head, you can’t think of what to say next. In fact, you feel like you’re taking up her time and space. You can barely hold a conversation with her, let alone ask for her number or try to meet up with her later.
You avert your gaze. You can’t hold eye contact with her. Why? Because you don’t feel entitled to have her as a girlfriend. You don’t feel entitled to even be talking with her.
She, being the girl, she’s hyper-attuned to these little micro-behaviors you’re giving off that are tells that you feel you’re not worthy of her, that you feel like you are beneath her.
She’ll think to herself, “You know what, there’s something a little bit weird about this. This guy is not completely comfortable talking to me. He’s not worth my time and effort. Friend zone for you. Goodbye!” And you are toast.
But if you have entitlement, if you feel worthy of that girl, you’re going to be outside of your head, you’re going to trust that whatever you say is good enough, you’re going to have trust in yourself as being worthy of that girl, and you’re going to be able to hold deep, piercing eye contact and stand your ground. Why? Because you have that entitlement to do so.
The Balloon of Comfort
The other factor that allows you to hold a piercing eye contact with a beautiful woman and not flinch and hold your ground is getting experience through repetition. For example, say you go talk to 10 different women as purely an exercise to push up on the boundary of your comfort zone.
You want to think of your comfort zone as like this balloon, that at first the balloon is very small, but you talk to that first girl, and you’re pushing up on the boundary of the balloon, expanding it a little bit.
You talk to the second girl, you’re pushing up on the boundary of the balloon a little bit more. Pretty soon after you talk to enough girls, your balloon is much larger.
Your comfort zone, the radius is much larger, and this allows you to talk to a girl and hold eye contact even if you don’t feel 100 percent entitled, so you can learn how to hold eye contact with a girl just through experience, just through repetition.
To start off with, you want to practice holding eye contact with girls, experience through repetition. At first, you’re going to suck. You’re going to feel extremely awkward. You’re going to feel uncomfortable.
You’re going to just want to run away and hide, but it will get a little bit easier with the second girl. You’ll feel a little bit more comfortable with the third girl, and so on.
After a while, you realize that no one is going to come up behind you with a big rock in their hand and just bash you over the head.
You realize that the girl isn’t going to run away and call the police on you or call her mommy and daddy. You’re going to get more experience, which will lead to feeling a sense of entitlement.
Then once you have that feeling of entitlement, it will make it easier to approach more girls and get more experience. Once you have more experience and more success and you can hold the eye contact a little bit longer, you’re going to feel more entitlement, and that additional entitlement will allow you to more easily get more experience.
It becomes this reinforcing cycle of success between these two factors, but it all starts out with breaking your old habits and approaching those first couple of girls to get that experience under your belt.
Now in the next video, I’ll be covering the exact mechanics of how you want to look into a girl’s eyes in a way that maximizes your success, in a way that just pulls the girl into you in an irresistible way that she can’t resist. As well as I’ll be covering a couple of the top mistakes I’ve seen guys make again and again and again that tend to creep and weird the girl out even if you do feel entitled.