How To Have Amazing Conversations With Girls

For conversation to work well, it’s got to have a lot of detail and emotional passion behind it, some emotional expression.

When most guys are talking to a girl, it’s just like, “How are you doing? That’s really interesting. That’s nice. I’m going to tell you about my day. I had this really exciting thing happened to me, you know this dog was chasing me, and it was really crazy.”

It’s too flat, it’s too dry. It’s just imparting dry information, but more than that, it just lacks emotional punch behind it. You’ve got to have a little passion, a little excitement in what you’re saying, where the girl is going to feel that oomph from you, that passion, that excitement, that interest. It’s really not so much the words that’s going to make the conversation interesting. It’s the emotional connection behind the word.

Even if a topic is boring, so you’re going to talk about what you eat for breakfast, it could be like, “Yeah, today, I ate some oatmeal. It’s kind of what I eat all the time.” That’s really boring. There’s nothing behind it. That’s going to make the girl get bored with you and want to leave.

To give conversation that oomph, it’s going to have some emotional passion, and it’s got to have some more detail. In that case, you can make anything sound interesting, even if you’re talking about oatmeal.

So, for example, if you’re talking about oatmeal, you can say, “Yeah, so I just love eating oatmeal! I mean I eat it almost every single day. It’s like an addiction for me, and what’s cool about oatmeal is that you can just prepare it in so many different ways. One day, you can put almonds on it, sliced almonds. Another day, I’ll put berries like blueberries and raspberries and those add sweetness, but in a very refined way that tastes natural like it’s from nature. It’s not sugary sweet. That’s like this explosion of favor on your tongue. Other times, I’ll put like little sweet cranberries in there if I want it a little bit sweeter. Oh, my gosh! I can just picture that oatmeal on my mouth right now.”

That sounds more interesting. Oatmeal—very boring subject, but you can make it fascinating by the emotional punch behind it.

Some of the videos that I give you, technically kind of boring subjects, but by me putting a little bit of emotional passion behind it, you can feel my interest in that subject coming through, the emotionality behind it. That’s what makes it engaging and grabs you and really pulls you in and makes you want to hear more.

She Needs To Feel Your Passion

In a conversation, you want to make sure that she feels your passion, she feels your interest. Again, talk about things that interest you. Don’t talk about things that you think you want her to hear because then you’re going to get bored. That’s going to come across in your speech.

An important principle with this is to remember the excitement of the concept doesn’t have to match the excitement of the delivery.

If you’re talking about getting abducted by aliens, that is a very like potentially exciting topic, but the delivery could be really boring like, “Yeah, I was walking the other day and I saw this spaceship. You know a spaceship came by and this beam came out of it and I got pulled up by this beam and then I saw this alien and I was strapped down against my will, and they took this big dildo and shoved this dildo up my ass, and they were probing me anally.”

That’s an interesting subject but it sounds boring because your delivery is boring. But you can also have a boring topic like oatmeal and have an interesting delivery.

What’s important is not the topic. Don’t care about what topics you come up with. Care about the delivery. That makes it so much easier on yourself because you’re not setting yourself high expectations on what you need to talk about.

Riff, Riff, Riff

You can just riff and riff and riff. You can do 90 percent of the conversation just by riffing off of really dumb boring subjects like what you like to do, computer programing, video games, etc. etc., what you ate for the morning for breakfast, your day at the gym by just having interesting delivery, passion, giving little details, entertaining yourself.

You can go on and on and on; that takes the pressure off the girl’s shoulders. You can make her feel comfortable around you. Because you’re leading the conversation, you can come up with 90 percent of the material without the girl feeling pressure to give back.

Then once the girl has been around you, she’s going to become more comfortable with you, she’s going to become more attracted to you, that’s when she’ll open up and that’s when the conversation becomes more of a fifty-fifty thing.

It’s really important in good conversation to have that emotional range. If there’s one emotion to pick, it’s that passion. It’s that excitement.

You can go into other emotions like anger, fear, show a little bit of fear in your voice. Show being pissed off a little bit, have that expression on your face, that will make it even more interesting. But if there’s this one thing again, have passion.

Give little details like that oatmeal example. I’m talking about different berries in my oatmeal, how it feels on my tongue, the sensation of the oatmeal, maybe the smell of the oatmeal, how the oatmeal makes me feel. Those little details make the story interesting.

Take Genuine Interest In Her

To have good conversations with girls, you want to take a genuine interest in that specific girl as a unique human being and getting to know her. If you’re like, “What do you do?”

She’s like, “I’m a nurse.”

“Okay, cool. How do you like being a nurse?”

She tells you, “It pays well. It has its good points. It has its bad points.”

You’re like, “Nice. That’s cool, being a nurse.”

You’re kind of pretending politely to be interested when you’re really not. Your focus is more on yourself. “Do I look cool? am I thinking of the right thing to say next? Am I creating an awkward situation? How do I impress this girl?”

It’s like me, me, me. You’re not really focusing in on that girl as a unique person.

If you were more into the conversation and getting to know her, you would probe deeper with better follow-up questions like, “Okay, so you’re a nurse. Has any old man never hit on you being a nurse? What made you decide to be a nurse? What’s the best thing about being a nurse?”

It doesn’t have to be that complicated. It doesn’t have to be that genius questions, and don’t use them as a technique. Really focus in on that girl and imagine taking a genuine interest in her. Focus on something that you really like about her, that really makes her unique, and probe her. Pretend like she is giving you the most interesting conversation in the world and take a genuine real interest in her.

That’s How You Create a Connection

That’s how you’re going to connect with that girl.

That’s how you’re going to make the conversation interesting is when she feels your interest, she is going to give an excited response back to you.

If she feels like you are investing in her, she will want to invest back in you like, “a guy who’s really listening to me, a guy who’s really interesting, a guy who’s asking me deep questions that no one has asked me before.” That’s what’s going to make her really connect with you.

Take the focus off yourself. Don’t be worrying about like, “Am I interesting enough? Am I coming up with the right thing to say? Is what I’m saying good enough for this girl?”

Instead, just take a genuine interest and the questions will flow from there. When you take a genuine interest in the girl, you don’t have to have techniques to come up with good questions. They will just come to you naturally.

Then when once you take interest in the girl as a genuine human being, it’s going to change your conversations completely.

Prevent Yourself From Being Bored

One thing that happens is if you’re talking to a lot of girls, this is particularly a big problem. Let’s say you go out at night, and you’re going to have five conversations with five different girls and you’re going to do that a couple of nights a week, so you’re going to meet in a month maybe 50 different girls.

That conversation kind of gets boring if you’re doing a lot of cold approaching because it’s just like, “What do you do? What’s going on?”

It gets very repetitive, but it won’t be boring. It will be interesting if you don’t look at it as a technique, or this is just the next girl I got to talk to, that I want to try to get into bed, if you look at each girl as an individual, each girl as a unique person, each girl that you can learn something from, each girl that you are going to show genuine interest in her as an authentic real human being that I’m going to probe deeply into what she’s saying, I’m going to listen carefully, then all those conversations can become interesting.

All those conversations can become entertaining and you’re going to get much better responses from the girls back because she’s going to feel like she’s not just a number but that she’s unique, that you feel like there’s something special in her. You want to make the girl feel like you’ve never met a girl like that. She’s the most interesting person on the planet.

That’s how you’re going to get the best responses from girls out of your conversations.

That’s how you’re going to become the attraction king where every single girl, no matter what her background, really connect with you, really feel attraction with you when you connect with them, when you probe deep, when you take a genuine interest in what they’re saying.

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