A Secret To Being Naturally Attractive (Super Technique)


I want to teach you how to crush it with girls particular in terms of your positivity, your personality, just being that cool, fun guy, nice vibe, smooth dude that girls love to be around, that girls are naturally attracted to apart from any techniques or tricks. Techniques or tricks are incredible. They’re great to use, but you also want to be this naturally fun, vibe awesome guys that girls are just naturally attracted to.

How are we going to do that?

Well, it’s a little bit of an art, not exactly a science. We’re going to deal with the mentality of it, your underlying beliefs. I’m going to go into a few concepts and it will eventually wrap back around the girls, so bear with me.

Positivity: Phone Example

So every month, I get a phone bill about $70 and this phone bill includes unlimited calling on my phone, unlimited texting, and some mobile Internet access. I can look at it three ways.

I could first of all just shrug my shoulder, like whatever.

Secondly, I could look at it as, “Damn phone bill! Damn phone bill company. I don’t want to pay these bills! Do you know how much I have to work to come up with that $70?” Or, “I just don’t like this! I don’t want to pay this! I hate that when the bill comes in. I have this negative anchor attached to it.”

Another way to look at your phone bill, you know, “Hundreds of millions of dollars have been spent to send satellites up in orbit on very expensive rockets, so you have hundreds of geosynchronous satellites orbiting the Earth, the best minds of science, the best minds of humanity have done this, spent all this money, created this incredible infrastructure, very complicated so that I could stay in touch with friends, I could stay in touch with family. I could stay in touch with girls.”

“On top of that, I’ve got this basically mini little super computer in my pocket for a couple of hundred dollars that 10 or 20 years ago would have cost $1,000 and would weigh 20 pounds and be sitting on my desk. I can look up videos of how to make money, of how to create the lifestyle I want, how to serve a little Internet business and go to Thailand and chill out, or how to get the kind of girl I want, or create the kind of relationships I want. I have the entire knowledge of humanity, all the books written by the best people on the planet right here accessible.”

“Will I pay $70 for this privilege? Of course, I will! I will pay double that. I will triple that. I will pay $500 a month.” At least I’m going to have the gratitude, the appreciation for what that $70 is buying me, right?

Positivity: Gym Example

Or take the gym. One way I can look at the gym is, “I got to drive there. It’s a pain in the ass. There’s not enough hot girls there, so I’m not really feeling motivated.” Or, “It’s too busy. I wish there were less people there, or these gym owners, they’re kind of scumbags because they sign up 100 people, knowing that 97 percent of those people will never show up. They’re just going to get billed monthly, so they overbook the gym like during the busy times like after work, the gym is really busy and it’s a pain in the butt, or they don’t have the right machine, the machine that I want to use.” You could look at the gym that way.

Another way you could look at the gym is, “You know these guys, the owners who spent millions of dollars or they’re taking enormous financial risk to create this gym, I don’t have to like buy a separate house and fill it up with $100,000 of gym equipment. I got it all right here at my fingertips, a lot of these equipment didn’t exist 20 or 30 years ago. I could build a Greek-god body if I so choose to do so, if I decide to put in the time and effort to learn how to do that. I have a great opportunity at my fingertips and I’m grateful for that.”

“For just $10, or $20, or $30, or $40 a month, I have that opportunity. That’s incredible opportunity for such a small price when you think about it compared to before when people didn’t even have gyms. They were just struggling to put food on the table.”

Are you going to be complaining about the gym or are you going to be having appreciation and gratitude for it?

Positivity: Beautiful Girl Example

Another example is you see a beautiful girl walk on by, and you think to yourself, “Yeah, I really got to meet that girl.” At the same time, you kind of don’t want to meet her because you’re not actually sure what you’ll actually say to her. You’re kind of conflicted. Your heart is beating hard. Your palm is getting sweaty. You could feel the sweat in your armpits, and you could feel your voice quavering. But you decide to go up to her anyway, right?

You say hello, you start talking to her, but you’re not making eye contact really. Your voice isn’t really there. It sounds all nervous, very friendly chitchat. There is no man-woman connection. It doesn’t have that sexual spark going on. You’re kind of barely holding in there, right?

The girl, eventually after a couple of minutes is like, “Well, Bob, it was nice to meet you. Goodbye!” And she bounces off, right?

How are you going to handle that? Are you going to think to yourself, “Fuck! Damn! I didn’t get what I want out of that interaction. I wasn’t my best self. I didn’t do the technique I was thinking of, that I was planning to do. I suck! I didn’t get laid. I didn’t get a girlfriend. What’s wrong with me?”

Or you could be blaming the girl, right? “She did that because she gets all this attention from Facebook and Instagram and she gets all this validation. It’s not like it was 30 years ago. Girls are so spoiled nowadays.” Or, “It’s feminism. Feminism has corrupted this girl just like all the women out there. They’re all corrupted. Twenty, 30 years ago, they would have recognized the good guy that came up to them, but nowadays, the girls just don’t recognize what a good guy I am.” You’re going to be blaming the girl.

Gratitude to The Girl

Or you’re going to have appreciation and gratitude, first of all just for a higher power or the universe putting that girl there in the first place. Or you’re going to have appreciation and gratitude that you have the legs to walk to that place where you met her because not every person has the health to physically be in that spot.

Are you going to have the gratitude and appreciation that you took action? Are you going to pat yourself on the back? Are you going to give yourself a hard time?

Or are you going to be like, “Yes! I did that. Who would have gone up to that girl?” I could have picked 100 different people, random dudes, and I bet 100 of them would not have gone up to that girl and taken action like that. Are you going to pat yourself on the back?

Are you going to have appreciation that the girl didn’t give you her number and didn’t just sleep with you just like that? That she is a little bit picky because if the girl said yes to every guy that came up to her – sorry about the airplane here – the girl said yes to every guy that came up to her, every hot girl out there would have sex with like 1,000 different guys. you don’t necessarily want that.

Are you going to have appreciation that she walked away from your very weak sauce approach where you didn’t make eye contact, you didn’t hold your voice very well, you didn’t create a man-woman connection? It was so boring, friendly, and chit-chatty? Are you going to have appreciation for that that she’s teaching you a lesson that you need to step up and you need to improve your game, that you can draw lessons from that interaction and that she didn’t just sleep with you, that she has a choice to say not to you, and demand a higher standard and forced you to demand a higher standard of yourself? Can you have the gratitude and appreciation for that?

Bitterness and Stagnation

Because I can tell you that the people on the lowest strata, that the people on the lowest part of the totem pole are the people that complain a lot and they think of themselves as victims. When you think of yourself as a victim, you don’t have appreciation, you don’t have gratitude for the little things, you’re not going to get very far in life. You’re going to stagnate. But more than that, you’re going to end up stress in your life. You’re going to have mental stress. You’re going to have physical stress. You’re going to have spiritual stress because you’re constantly stressing yourself out with negativity.

Just look at people that are 10 or 20 years older than yourself and look at them and say to yourself, “Is that the kind of person I want to be like when I’m 10 or 20 years older?” Look at how much complaining they do. Look at the broken dreams and the lost potential of people not stepping up to their best selves and how they soothe themselves with junk food and watching passive entertainment because they didn’t live up to their dreams. They didn’t achieve their dreams because they were too negative and they were too complaining and they didn’t take action.

The Trump Pit

As another example, look at a lot of white older males in our society. It used to be 20, or 30, or 40 ya1, you could just get out of high school with reading and writing and arithmetic and get a factory job, paying good money of $20, $30, or $40 an hour and have that 2-week vacation, send your kids to school. Frankly, you have a lbo1 white privilege, a little advantage there, but what happened? The economy changed.

First of all, new technologies allowed companies to Skype, so to speak, Facetime, communicate on the other side of the globe instantaneously very easily and very cheaply, and now you could manage your company from across the world, so a lot of these factory jobs went overseas to places like China or Indonesia, right, where workers could do it for half the price, or a third the price. Then even that immigration labor, immigrant labor is replaced by machines, by robots, by artificial intelligence, which were particularly seen taking off in the last 5 or 10 years.

Pretty soon drivers are going to be replaced by driver-less cars. Three million jobs, blue collar jobs gone like that. Those jobs are never coming back, but these white older people that experienced a different kind of economy, different kind of lifestyle are now pissed off. They’re victims. They’re acting like victims and it has large political implications because someone like Trump can just come along and say, “I’m going to bring all these old blue-collar jobs. I’m going to bring back the factories,” which is a complete fantasy, of course. These jobs aren’t coming back when they could be done by machines.

When a factory that used to be run by 10,000 workers, run by 10,000 workers, now it could be done by 1,000 white-collar workers and 10,000 machines. These jobs are gone, but because people are in this victim mentality, it’s like, “Trump! Trump! Trump!” And the political implications is you got a guy who’s a loudmouth narcissist, a windbag who openly admits to sexually assaulting women, is probably highly unqualified for the job running the highest office in the land.

The Taking Action View

Another way that an older white person could look at the world is, “Okay, yeah those jobs are gone, but now compared to 20, 30 years ago, there’s double the amount of money flowing around. Total world wealth has doubled. There is just a stream of cash circling the Earth. I could just start a little Internet business and just grab a little bit of that stream, just 0.00000001 percent, just grab a tiny little bit for myself and live on a beach in Thailand on my laptop, right?

Or I could go back to school, retrain myself, get a white-collar job, make two times or three times more money than I did before, and I realized it’s not exactly that simple but that kind of mindset, that kind of positive mindset ‑ not blaming immigrants, not blaming yourself, not looking for the savior in Trump or the government coming to save you is what’s going to get you ahead in life versus just stagnating and collecting that welfare check and being this old complaining dude, complaining wistfully for time that’s never coming back, right?

You want to see these older people, people that are 10 or 20 years older than yourself who are complaining and being victims and soothing themselves with television and greasy food and getting fat, if they are influencing you. You know see if that complaining, that negativity has influenced you at all and if you can change your mindset to have gratitude for like the little things like for your phone bill, gratitude for the gym, gratitude for that hot girl that walks by, gratitude that you took that little bit of action whereas maybe she said, “Oh, it was nice meeting you. Goodbye!” You have gratitude that you took action when a hundred and hundred other men wouldn’t have. Gratitude to the girl for saying no to you that forced you to step up and improve yourself and get better and hold yourself to a higher standard.

If you have gratitude, if you have that positive outlook on life, that’s what’s going to be very attractive to women because girls want a guy that is positive and a guy that is adaptable, that can adapt to different situations, a guy that is nonjudgmental, a guy that is not complaining about others or blaming others, or finding scapegoats in others for his own problems but takes control of his own problems and takes action and remains positive about it.

That’s a rare trait. You will stand out if you can embody that trait. Girls will notice it right away and that goes beyond – this is not like a technique or trick, right? This is something that you want to embody and that’s more important than any technique or trick. Techniques or tricks are like the icing on the cake, little things you can add in, little spice you can put on the steak, but this is the steak. This is what girls find attractive.

You want to make that mindset shift from victim, being negative, blaming others, scapegoating others to having that positive outlook on like and taking action.

13 thoughts on “A Secret To Being Naturally Attractive (Super Technique)”

  1. What you are doing is an NLP technique called reframing. It is valid and works very well. It is more effective if it is done to you by a hypnotist or NLP practitioner. It is good to “reframe” negatives into positives.
    I would ask where you see mental instability in anything Trump has done. You are old enough to realize that people say what they have to to get elected. The democrats have a history of parading paid women out to claim sexual harassment. They have done it to most opposing political candidates. The jobs were here. They were driven off by Clinton, Bush and Obama. The real issue being posed now is if we will be Capitalist or Socialist. What is your choice? If you are supporting the democrats, you are pulling for the socialist card. I would have to ask why?.

  2. Jesse,

    I enjoy reading your articles but I for one am a little tired of your political commentary. I am a very successful business man who supports Trumps policies. Fine to disagree with his policies, to each their own, but I am pretty sure he knows more about creating jobs than you do. Just reducing business taxes and regulations will help bring jobs back to the US, this is why the stock market is through the roof right now. Also, putting a stop to illegal immigration will help increase wages for Americans. Also, I am sure you have never said something disrespectful about a woman to one of your buddies that if you had been unknowingly taped you may not want to get out, right? Maybe try sticking to what you do know something about, picking up girls, instead of alienating about half of your followers.


  3. Agree with the mindset of gratitude. However, if you feel you must get a dig out with a political comment, try to be accurate rather than make an emotionally charged response that is a complete distortion of what really happened. You can dislike him, think he’s a loudmouthed narcissist, and you’re even entitled to feel like he’s the most unqualified to be president. But to say he’s admitted to sexually admitted assaulting women is utter snowflake triggered bullshit. He said when you’re famous you can do anything … grab them in the pussy … they let you do anything. Is he crass, rude, obnoxious, a loudmouth? Sure, I won’t deny that. I didn’t vote for him but I sure as fuck didn’t vote for that corrupt cesspool of a criminal Clinton. There are so many cases of her criminal behavior and corruption it’s revolting people put up with it. I bought several of your programs, and like your message generally, but please don’t obfuscate with brazen untrue narratives. You can hate the man emotionally all you want. Just don’t make a specious argument to support your emotional position.

    1. And btw, every famous actor in Hollywood is banging chicks and discarding groupies like snotty tissues. Fake outrage is just plain silly.

  4. Another awesome Seduction Science article. Having a cool guy, non-judgmental (especially of sexuality) outlook, and fun vibe is in reality a lot more seductive to women, than most of the current PUA types that have a ton of hate and anger issues that are not seductive and not a healthy way to live life. I am 100 percent in favor of “pick-up/meeting women,” but I’m not in favor of having hate/anger as I think that’s the wrong direction to go and is not an effective vibe to have for any goal. Having a positive attitude and even sometimes being sort of playful with women is not weak, and in fact being genuinely “seductively fun and playful” is very strong because it takes a lot of confidence be like that around women, plus unlike hate/anger that’s a turn off and a downer, being fun is a turn on and creates a more enjoyable experience for her and you. Having fun together releases feel good hormones in the brain that she associates with you. Most guys don’t seem to comprehend this. Having seen so many comments on many sites it is not surprising to figure somewhere around eight out of ten comments are going to be negative. I agree with everything I’ve read on this site, aside from I think it’s okay to watch some porn once and a while, and especially because sex-negative society is very much against porn therefore us sex-positive guys shouldn’t be against porn (unless someone has an issue and they’re not out taking action living life). I’ve read many Seduction Science articles so far and I enjoyed reading them and I have learned a lot. Thank you Jesse.

    1. Amen Jack, I’m in 100% concurrence with everything you say. A lot of guys get into pickup motivated by bitterness against women and wanting a sort of ‘revenge sex’ on them, and there’s sites out there that promote that kind negative vibe, but it won’t get you very far if you want actual results.

  5. What a fucking joke! This guy must be a 15 year old virgin. Hahaha!!
    GUYS – do the opposite of everything this dude says, and you’ll have much better luck with women. He is obviously a major loser and is overthinking in the worst way possible.

    1. The joke is YOU!! These are techniques that are supported by the top life coaches and motivational speakers on the planet. You should learn a thing or two instead of running your mouth like a moron. Oh wait! Maybe you are one…

  6. Some great content there Jesse. Always informative and interesting.

    I’m working a little more on ‘calibration’ at the moment – ie. adapting to the particular character of the girl I’m with. I’ve seen some other coaches talk about it and I agree that it’s really important. Hard-core pimp game only really works consistently on the seasoned, alpha club females – who lap it up. However for other less confident or more conservative girls, a slightly more chilled style of game works. I’d be interested to hear your thoughts and experiences on the topic of calibration at some point.


    1. Yeah a more chilled approach can work on many girls. You can always go in more chilled, poke her with some of the more hardcore stuff, and if she responds to it, only then go more alpha pimp on her. That would be calibrating.

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