Today we’re covering direct opening versus indirect opening and the top 3 mistakes guys are making.
Direct opening is when you’re making your sexual intentions known upfront to the girl like, “Hey! I saw you walking over there. I just saw that you had this amazing style and I had to come over and meet you. You’re absolutely stunning. My name is Jesse.”
Indirect opening, you’re kind of keeping the wraps over your sexual intention. You’re not just laying all your cards out on the table all at once like, “Hey! Didn’t I meet you a couple of weeks ago at Gaston’s Bar? Yeah, I think I know you. You’re Susan, right? My name is Jesse.” Or, “Hey! Nice weather we’re having. Who are you by the way? What’s your name? My name is Jesse.”
Which is better?
Direct opening – the problems with it
Here’s my little problem with direct game. Ideally you want to qualify a girl first before giving her your approval. She should work to win your admiration before you just start complimenting her.
Now validating a girl based on her looks right upfront can work in certain instances. For example if the girl doesn’t get a lot of compliments. Maybe she’s from a small town, she doesn’t meet a lot of men. Or she’s not the most beautiful girl in the world and she’s just not used to getting compliments. That can be very powerful if it’s a new experience for her.
But for a very, very hot girl, you’re essentially validating her and she hasn’t done anything to earn that. she hasn’t don’t do anything to actually win you over and you’re now giving her exactly what she wants, which is the validation. She’s a hot girl, she’s going to be like, “Yeah, I know. Join the line, buddy, – the line where the other 20 guys also want to fuck me.”
More than that, going direct right away kind of deflates the story. When you go up to a girl and say, “Hey! I just noticed you. You’re absolutely stunning. You’re beautiful,” you’re basically leaving all the cards on the table, and the girl is just like, “Yeah, I know he wants me. I got him wrapped around my little finger.”
You want to peak her curiosity
What you really want to do is hook in her curiosity, give her some drama, give her a plot line to unravel. You really want to make her wonder, “Hmm! Does this guy really like me? Have I won him over? Is he going to call me back?” That reduces flakes enormously if she’s wondering if she has you or not. she’ll be far more likely to pick up the phone or to text you back if she’ thinking to herself, “Does this guy really like me? I’m not really sure about this.” especially if she’s the kind of girl tat’s been hit up left and right by different.
Another reason that I liked indirect opening is it forces me to create that sexual tension and convey my sexual interest through the underlying sub-communication, through my smile, through my eye contact, through my body language, through my vibe, indirectly through my works, which I think is far more powerful when you can speak something without saying it directly without saying the actual words but you just convey that underlying current.
Now don’t get me wrong. Opening direct can certainly work but indirect, you’re going to get less flakes. You’re going to more girls calling you back and answering your text messages.
Direct is simpler to execute
Now here’s why I think guys like to open directly with a compliment upfront. It’s simply easier to digest. It’s easier to understand and it’s simpler to do. when guys open indirect and they don’t really know what they’re doing, the interaction kind of lacks an underlying sexual chemistry, that underlying sexual spark. It remains a purely friend-to-friend interaction and doesn’t tend to go anywhere.
Whereas opening direct right away creates that man-to-woman interaction immediately creates that sexual tension immediately. In a sense, it allows you to have worse game or being lazier about the game because you’re not relying so much on having good, sub-communication, creating the underlying tension through your eye contact, through your voice, through your vibe, through more of an offhanded stability. Opening with a direct opener in my opinion is not ideal but certainly better than opening with an indirect opening followed by a lifeless friend-to-friend conversation that goes nowhere.
Indirect opening gives you better results than direct opening but only if you kind of know what you’re doing, only if you’re not a beginner, only if you have your sub-communication down, then it’s more powerful. Otherwise, if you don’t know what you’re doing, indirect can actually give you worse results.
Direct opens remove ambiguity
Another reason that guys like to open direct is that they hate ambiguity. They want to know how the girl feels about them right away in that first moment. It’s like, “Either accept me or reject me, but just give me the answer. Either hang me or love me. I want to know the answer upfront. Tell me right now.”
What they’re really looking for is validation from the girl. They go up direct to the girl because they want her approval right away. They want to know whether they’re going to be liked or not, so the girl is like, “Yeah, I like your smile, giggle, and laugh.”
“Thank goodness. This girl likes me. I can feel good about myself. I can feel awesome about myself.”
So it’s like they’re going up to a girl and they’re saying, “Hey! I had to come up and meet you because you’re absolutely beaitufil, so you do like me now/ do you like me back? do you really, really like me? Please, please, please like me.” There is like this needy undertone to it.
Indirect opens put less pressure on the girl
Whereas in contrast with indirect game, there is less pressure on the girl and the attraction can build more slowly organically and naturally.
If you’re a novice and you’re kind of new with this, definitely open girls direct because it’s simpler, it’s easier, and it’s less likely you’re going to fuck it up.
To conclude this, if you are a novice, if you’re kind of new with this, you don’t have too many approaches under your belt, you don’t have too much sexual experience talking to women, opening and approaching girls, then definitely go with direct opening because it’s just kind of simpler to pull off.
If you’re intermediate and have your sea legs, I would challenge you to push yourself and open indirectly where you create that sexual tension and underlying sexual spark and man-to-woman interaction through the underlying sub-communication where it’s not outright said but it’s suggested, so you keep the girl wondering that’s going to happen next whether it’s a story, a plotline that she can follow and that will greatly reduce flaking.
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