Tip #1. Entertain yourself
To have a conversation that pulls that girl in, makes her feel comfortable with you, and makes her feel attracted, you want to be entertaining **yourself** in the conversation.
It’s not trying to think of “what’s going to impress this girl”, or “what should I talk about”, or “I don’t know what to talk about because I need to have the right thing to say that will make the girl like me”, where you’re setting up these high standards for yourself where you’re going to home in on exactly what is the most entertaining thing to the girl.
It should not be like that. That’s not the direction that you want your conversation to go.
You want to be talking about things that entertain YOU, things that tickle your fancy, that you find interesting to talk about, not trying to guess what you think that the girl wants to hear, not trying to guess what you think is going to most please her.
If you like to talk about comic books like comic books are interesting to you, bring up your comic books in the conversation even if comic books are very nerdy.
If you are a computer programmer like I was back in the day, I used to try to hide that from a girl, don’t try to hide that. Talk about that you’re a computer programmer.
Conversation Tip #2. Show your passion
You want to show your passion behind the subject, your interest behind the subject because it’s not the subject that interests the girl.
The girl wants to see your passion.
The girl wants to see that you are entertaining yourself, that you are in your own world, and you are self-amused, you are happy in your own skin with who you are and what you do, and what you’re all about.
If you like country music, and she doesn’t like country music, it doesn’t matter.
Just talk about the country music anyway because it’s what she wants to see that is you are confident. She wants to see your confidence. She wants to see that you talk about a subject confidently, so if you talk about country music and that you are hiding from that, it looks bad. You want to be talking about country music in a confident manner. Talk about it like it’s your passion. Be excited about it. That’s what makes the girl attracted to you.
She’ll be like, “Oh, this guy is pretty attractive. Suddenly, I like country music, too, because he has this passion for it.” Personally, I’m not really into country music, even though I got the cowboy hat on, but it’s just an example.
What’s key is that you are leading, leading, leading the conversation because if you’re trying to think of what she likes, suddenly you are reacting to the girl. You’re suddenly trying to, she’ll lead the conversation like, “I like this and that,” and then you just follow along. You’re like, “I like that, too. Yeah, I like that, too. That’s what I like as well.”
That’s reacting to the girl. You want to be leading and getting the girl reacting to you. Once she is reacting to you, she’s following you, she’s chasing you. That’s attractive to the girl when you show that you are the leader.
Conversation Tip #3. Put yourself on the pedestal
Also talking about what entertains you about what you like, it lifts the conversational burden off the girl.
You’re not putting her up on a pedestal anymore.
You’re putting yourself first. You’re putting yourself up on a pedestal. You are the 10. You are talking about what you like and the girl can kind of just sit back, watch, and listen along like she’s watching a little interactive movie, so she’s going to feel more comfortable.
She doesn’t feel like she’s being put on the spot. She doesn’t feel like she has to reveal herself until she becomes more comfortable with you. It just makes it a lot easier on the girl when you talk about what entertains you. You’re not trying to guess what’s going to please her.
Conversation #4. Reveal the real you
She also learns about the real you, the real authentic you.
Let’s say you’re trying to talk about what she likes to talk about, and she talks to 10 different guys. Each guy is trying to guess what she likes, so they talk about like, “You have your nails done. Let’s talk about your nails. Oh, I’m going to guess that you like Taylor Swift, so let’s talk about Taylor Swift.”
Each conversation talking about what she likes with 10 different guys, she’s not going to learn anything about those 10 different guys because it’s all about herself. All those 10 different guys are going to blend in with one another. They’re all going to be generic guys.
She’s not going to learn anything unique about those guys, so it’s just like, “I had 10 conversations with 10 different guys, but I didn’t learn anything about them. There’s nothing separating one guy off from the other, but that one guy who talks about what entertains him, what he likes, what amuses himself,” that’s the guy that will stand out.
That’s the guy that she’s going to feel like, “I really got to know that guy. I really feel like I know him. I feel like I know his dreams. I feel like I know his interests. He stands out.” That’s what’s attractive to the girl.
Also, again, it’s leading. It’s so important to lead in a conversation where you go first, where you step first. Let the girl follow along. Let the girl react to you. Talking about what entertains you means that you are leading the girl and that shows confidence.
Conversation Tip #5. Keep yourself interested
A further point that I want to bring up is that when you talk about what entertains you, it keeps yourself interested.
I think guys underestimate how boring talking to girls can be. If you’re not talking to a lot of girls, talking to a cute girl is going to be the most exciting thing ever. You could be talking about anything really. You could be talking about her, and you’re just fascinated in whatever she has to say because you just haven’t talked to a pretty girl in a really long while.
But if you start talking to a lot of girls like you’re going out every weekend talking to a girl after girl after girl, getting the conversations and you’re kind of focused on what do I think she wants to talk about, it’s going to get really boring fast because you’re going to find yourself talking about the same generic conversations, maybe like, “Gosh! Damn, this conversation, again, and again, and again.”
But if you talk about what entertains yourself, that’s going to be far more interesting because that can shift around.
Let’s say you’re interested in space subjects like talking about the speed of light or something, so you might talk about that for a couple of weeks with different girls.
Then that starts to kind of lose her interest because you’ve been talking about it a lot, so then you get on this kick of talking about video games that you’re playing, and you talk about that for a while. Then maybe you kind of lose your interest with that a little, and then you’re talking about computer programming and your job. Then maybe you go back to astronomy subjects. You cycle around.
But the point is, if you’re always entertaining yourself, self-amusing yourself, you can always come up with subjects that keep you interested in the conversation, which is really important if you’re talking to a lot of girls, if you’re talking to girl after girl after girl. If you’re trying to figure out what they like, if you find yourself caught in these generic conversations, man, it can get really boring.
To keep yourself entertained, to keep yourself interested in pickup and you don’t become disillusioned, talk about what interests you. You got to put yourself first. You got to entertain yourself first. When you put yourself up on a pedestal of confidence and you come first, that’s when girls get attracted to you.