We’re going to talk about money – using money to get a girlfriend, using money to get a wife, using money to have a good dating life.
Now I don’t want to completely knock money. Money can certainly work. It’s been used for hundreds of years to impress women, to get them into bed. It’s not something that you necessarily want to completely write off.
First of all, money can give a woman good feelings.
For example, you could take her on a whirlwind trip to Paris, go climb the Eiffel Tower, stay in a beautiful hotel, eat in a delicious restaurant, go walking down the boulevards. That’s going to make her feel adventurous, protected, cared for, and spoiled.
You could drop $100,000 on a nice sports car and hit the gas hard with her in the passenger seat, and she’s going to feel like she’s in a rollercoaster and she’s going to get the spike of emotions and feel really good.
You could throw like this big dinner party, invite a bunch of women out to a steakhouse for free steaks. Free $50 meals, a bunch of girls will show up, and it will look like you have all the social proof, right? There’s different ways to use money to get a girl.
However, it has its disadvantages, so this is something you need to consider.
Disadvantages of using money to date women:
Problem #1. Getting Rich Takes Time
Getting lots of money, typically most men don’t strike gold until they’re 40s or 50s.
You typically will have to spend like 10, 20, 30 years climbing the corporate ladder.
Or if you want to start your own business, that can take years, and years, and years of very hard work.
You never know if it’s really going to pay off. It’s not a guarantee that you’re going to get rich and strike gold. You never know how things will go.
You could be putting in the very best years of your life, the very best decades of your life trying to get wealthy, trying to get rich, trying to get the money to buy that $100,000 sports car, trying to get the money so you can afford the $50 steak dinners. Then, you could be an old man, or it might not never really happen.
Problem #2. You Still Won’t Feel Worthy
It’s coming from the assumption that you are not enough on your own.
It’s like you’re not worthy of women. You’re putting women up on a pedestal. They’re higher than you, and you will only be worthy when you have a certain amount of money, when you can impress her with certain things, or give her certain lifestyle.
This is a frame where the girl is automatically higher than yourself. You really don’t have much to offer her. You need to have the money to impress a girl, which is a pretty bad frame to be coming from.
The problem with it, too, is even when you do get the money, you have this hole inside your soul where you don’t feel like you’re enough and the money doesn’t really fill it.
You think that money is going to fill that hole or you’re going to feel worthy, but even when you do get the money, you’re still not going to feel worthy. You see this beautiful young girl in this tight little dress with the beautiful lips, the beautiful long hair, the beautiful eyes, and now you’re an older man because you’ve been working to try to get the money, you see her.
It’s not like just because you have money you’re going to suddenly feel confident and worthy. You’re not! You’re still going to feel like totally scared, “I can’t approach her, I don’t feel worthy,” because essentially, it’s the same you. Just having the money doesn’t necessarily change your psychology. It doesn’t necessarily change anything inside your head. You’ve grown up poor or just middle class your whole life and that brain is still the same brain, thinking that you’re poor or middle class.
The money can kind of help a little, but for all the work that goes into it to accumulate it, to get it, it’s not really going to boost your confidence dramatically, not nearly as much as you would think.
Problem #3. Girls will see you as a provider rather than a lover
Ideally, you want the woman to see you as a lover, someone that turns her on, someone that she wants to sleep with quickly, particularly if you want to have this abundant sex life where you have a lot of options and you have a lot of choice with women.
That’s like the ideal scenario because maybe you can sleep with 10, 20 different women, and then you have the choice to select the woman that is best suited to yourself because it’s pretty rare that you’re going to hit that diamond on the first try. If you have a choice of girls, you’re going to have a much better relationship choosing the girl you want.
If you’re using money to impress a girl, she sees your expensive watch, she sees your expensive suit, she sees your expensive car. You take her on trips, you take her out expensive dinners, she’s going to want to slow move the dating process.
“Why would I sleep with this guy if he’s giving me all this stuff, if I’m getting all the stuff from him? He could be husband material. Maybe I want to lock him down, or I just don’t want to jeopardize anything. If I sleep with him, maybe he’ll think I’m a slut. Maybe he won’t buy me dinners me anymore. Let’s just slow things down.”
What happens is that when you’re using money to attract a girl, she might drag on the dating process for as long as possible—a month, two months, three months. She might just slow things down. She doesn’t want to sleep with you, and it’s really not the ideal situation for getting sexual abundance.
Using money could be good to court one woman that you meet, but that relationship could go terrible because she might not be the right girl for you. Maybe she has a pretty look, but you don’t really have sexual abundance. You don’t really have choice, and a lot of men with money that use their money to get the girl end up with the wrong woman who eventually divorces them and takes half their money, right? That’s not a situation you want to be in.
Problem #4. You will tend to attract gold diggers
Gold diggers are women who are dating you for all the wrong reasons.
They’re really dating you for the money and they’re using that as a justification to go out with you.
It’s not always the case. Sometimes you’ll find the girl with the heart of gold when you’re trying to impress her with money, but generally you’re going to be attracting gold diggers when you are dangling your nice clothes, your nice car, and your nice house, and free trips, and free meals in front of her.
It’s just like if you dressed all in black, and you wear Gothic boots and you had Gothic chains, and you wear black fingernails, you’re not going to typically attract the regular girl off the street. You’re going to be attracting other Goth girls that are into that Gothic look.
Of course, attracting gold diggers, while that can feel fun at first, can really backfire on you especially if you marry a gold digger.
If you were ever to become poor, she will want to leave you, take half of your money, or she will just be like, “Well, I’m really after the money. I don’t really need the guy. I’m married to him, so I might as well divorce him and get half the money. I got the money. I don’t have to deal with the guy,” especially when the romance wears out after that first year or two of love is in the air. Once that wears out, the girl is gone, takes half of your money.
It’s really problematic to be attracting girls with money because that’s a great formula for her to take half of your money.
I think a healthier relationship to money is if you want to get rich, if you want to be making money, that’s fine. You can go ahead and do it, but do it for yourself. Don’t do it to impress a girl. Don’t put women up on this pedestal and you’re down here where you’re trying to win them over or attract them with wealth and money.
Do it because you like to do it. Maybe you see making money as a game, or it just gives you satisfaction, or it’s just something that you enjoy it. It puts you in the flow state. It gives you good emotions. Those are all good reasons enough to make money, but just don’t do it to be impressing women.
More than that, learn how to attract women through your solid confidence, through your eye contact, through your voice, through your posture, through how you carry yourself, through not being reactive, through how you talk, how you carry a conversation, and then let her slowly discover that you have money.