To have great conversations with girls and never run out of things to say, you want to use illogical branching in your conversations.
You do not want to be linear. You don’t want to be like, “So, what do you do? Okay, now that you told me that, how do you like your job? All right, now that you told me that, when did you start working?”
Just logical order to things like, “Oh, I got to talk you about this. When I finish this story, I’m going to talk about this, which comes naturally out of this one, which comes naturally out of this one.” That puts too much pressure on yourself. It makes you nervous, and you’re in this mindset that, “I have to have the right thing to say to impress the girl,” that, “I have to have this wonderful conversation.”
You’re setting the bar very high for yourself, and you’re putting pressure on yourself and it’s just nerve-wracking. You don’t want that.
Illogical Branching and Jumping Topics
You want to be jumping around the conversation, different topics, moving here, moving there, moving everywhere where it’s completely illogical.
That’s actually how you talk to your friends often, whether you know it or not, where you feel completely comfortable with a good friend you know. Actually, if you list your conversations, a lot of times, it kind of jumps around illogically.
You could be talking to the girl about what you’re doing at the gym, and you just jump to some story from work, then you tell her a story about what you ate for breakfast, then you jump around, telling her a story about your dog, your pet dog, and you don’t even have to finish the stories.
One of the cool things about unfinished stories is that they become open loops. An open loop is just a story where she does not have the ending, she doesn’t know how it turned out, and that keeps her curious, that keeps her hooked into the conversation.
Maybe you’re talking about a friend of yours who had his girlfriend cheat on him, and you’re telling the story, and for some reason, the story gets interrupted. You don’t have to feel like you have to finish the story. You don’t have to feel like you have to give her the ending. You could jump to something different, a completely different story and just leave that as an open loop that will keep that girl curious.
Forget about Proper Transitions
You can have very rough transitions. You don’t feel like you have to transition properly from story to story or from topic to topic. I can be talking about like, “Oh, did you know when you look at the sun, you’re actually looking at the sun as it was 8 minutes ago, which reminds me, I remember I had these drinks when I was a kid? It was called Capri Sun. Man! That was like my favorite drink.”
That has nothing to do with each other, but you have to be like, “Bam! Bam! Bam! Bam!” Keep talking. Be enthusiastic. You’re talking about what you like to talk about, so you’re enthusiastic, you’re entertaining yourself, and just jump around. That kind of makes it interesting.
When people watch Snapchat, for example, or Instagram and they watch Instagram stories, it’s kind of like you get a 5-second clip, then another 5-second clip, then another 5-second clip that have nothing to do with each other. They’re just in illogical order often. That’s kind of what makes it entertaining.
A lot of television is like that or these ads are just like one ad for this, one ad for that, one ad for something else. It’s just like rapid-paced fire, different images, different emotions, so that’s what kind of draws the girl in, that’s what pumps her emotions.
Where Logical Order is Important: Business
Again, you don’t have to make it in a logical order. You’re not giving the girl a class on computer programming.
Logical order is important for business or for getting stuff done like things need to follow a certain step like if you are—I’m a computer programmer, so I like to come out with examples of having to do with computers. If there’s just one part of your code that’s off, that can break the entire computer program. That can break the experience.
If you are like in engineering or programing, we kind of train ourselves to think in terms of logical order because that’s what works, that’s what gets you the high salary, that’s what gets you paid, that’s what gets you respect in the workplace. But when in constant conversation, you got to throw all that out and just jump around completely illogically, completely out of order.
Verbal Exercise to Practice: Talk to the Wall
One cooler technique to practice this is you say a sentence, and then you pick one work out of that sentence and you talk about something else based on that word.
For example, I was saying, “You know when you look up at the Sun, you’re looking at the Sun as it was 8 minutes ago because that’s how long it takes the light to reach the Earth. So, if the Sun blew up, you wouldn’t know it for 8 minutes, which reminds me, so I’m going to pick that word, the Sun, which reminds me when I was a kid, I like to drink Capri Sun drink. That was like my favorite drink growing up.” I picked the word, Sun, and I just moved to the next topic.
Now, I’m going to pick the work, drink. “You know I don’t really like to drink. It gives me a headache. I really got to build up tolerance to that, but it just makes me sloppy. I like to be on top of my verbal game.”
Now, I’m going to pick the word, game. “I like to play video games. I played Sierra adventure games when I was a kid. I liked King’s Quest and Space Quest.”
Basically, as an exercise, what you can do is jump around topics. You say like a little story or a couple of sentences, you pick one word out of that, and then you riff off of that word, so then you’re going to do another story, so we’re talking about the Sun, then I’m talking about Capri Sun drinks. Then I’m talking about alcoholic drinks and how I like to be on top of my game by not drinking so much, and then I’m talking about video games.
This is an exercise that you can do by yourself. You are essentially talking to the wall. You’re going to line up with a wall and pretend that you are entertaining yourself, topics that you like, but you are taking to the wall.
Can you talk to the wall without getting any feedback by just jumping off the topics by picking words out of each topic to launch into the next topic?
It sounds like a silly exercise, but it’s a good way to get your mouth moving. It’s like you got to strengthen that muscle. If you go to the gym and you have never lifted weights, you’re going to suck. You’re not going to lift weights at all, but even a little bit of practice can make you just like that 10 percent of practice can make you like 50 percent better.
Doing an exercise like that where you’re talking to the wall, riffing off different topics can really warm you up. Particularly before you want to go out, you want to get your mouth moving, get your mouth moving, jumping around illogically.
Illogical branching around topics will really warm you up. You’re going to feel more confident and your conversations with girls are going to be so much better.