I’m going to tell you about shit tests, why girls do shit tests, the ways that women can shit test you, and specifically how you pass those tests.
But also, quite importantly, how to turn shit tests around to your advantage and how do you use a girl’s own shit test to make her fall head over heels crazy in love with you, melt through her defenses, and get the girl.
So, you’re in a bar and a girl says to you, “Will you buy me a drink?”
And you’re like, “Sure! What do you want?” I’m sorry, buddy, you just failed that shit test. The girl presented you a frame of being “ask us beta male” and you walked yourself into it.
You’re talking to a girl about a video game that you like to play and she says to you, “That sounds like a big waste of time.”
You’re like, “Yeah, yeah, yeah—well, I don’t play that often. Really, it’s my little brother that likes to play with me. Yeah, it’s pretty silly.” You just said that to get the girl’s approval, even though you love playing that game because you’re so damn afraid of what other people will think of you, especially a girl.
Or a girl says to you, “Are you trying to pick me up? Is that your pickup line?’
You say, “Oh, no. I’m really sorry. No, no, no. I’m not that kind of guy. I didn’t mean to offend you.” You just failed the shit test, my friend.
#1: Stop Caring So Much!
Here’s the big problem. Everyone cares so fucking much about what everybody else thinks nowadays and we all try to be copies of one another, not thinking for ourselves, and trying to impress everyone else especially if there’s a hot girl at stake.
“Oh, what do I say to make her like me? What do I say to get her approval? What if I don’t say the right thing?”
You’re constantly reacting to the girl, constantly pinging off of her of what’s the right thing to say or do, what’s the right acceptable behavior for her to like you?
I mean, come on. Give me a break! You just end up censoring yourself and becoming bland and vanilla, and fake, and boring, and unremarkable, and unattractive.
“I’m So Tired Of Bullshit Games Girls Play…”
I have an interesting letter here. Pete wrote in to me. “Hey, Jesse, I’m so tired of getting shit tests. Fuck these girls and their drama. It’s so fucking petty. If girls don’t know a good man when they see one, she doesn’t deserve me. These shit tests are just ridiculous mind games. Thanks, but no thanks.”
Look, here’s the deal. Yeah, on the surface level, it sucks.
Why do men have to put up with these dumb shit tests, right? Why do women always have to complicate things? But in reality, it serves you no good to be butthurt about this.
Why Girls Shit Test You
Girls shit test guys for a very good reason, a very good reason.
A pretty girl gets hit on a lot and she can’t say yes to every single guy that wants to fuck her. A girl needs a fast and efficient way to weed out inferior male suitors, and she can’t just ask the guy, “So are you a strong, leading confident, entitled, virile, alpha male?” Because men will straight up lie to her.
A loser guy living in his mom’s basement who’s watching television all day can simply lie to her and tell her, “Oh, yeah, baby. I’m bursting with confidence. I drive a Tesla Model S back home, and I live in a mansion back home, and I’ve got this 12-inch dick and I’m the right man for you. Trust me. Because I’ve told you that, I am sex-worthy for you.”
It’s very easy to fake words and just be a liar, so a woman will place little importance on what a man says.
Instead, a woman wants to see how you act under real pressure in a real-world situation and a woman will apply that pressure to you again and again and again to test you, to see if you are actually the high-value guy that you’re claiming or appear to be.
Just imagine what’s going on inside a woman’s mind. She’s thinking to herself, “You know what, this cocky fucker, he looks cool, he presents himself as cool at least on the surface, but am I going to find out that this is all really just an act, that he is really just a fucking loser, that he’s a deadbeat or a social retard, or a violent axe murderer who’s going to chop me up?”
Or if a girl says to you, “Yeah, you know. Sorry, but I just don’t think you’re really my type,” and you freak out or you get sad or quiet or you react badly, or you get angry, or you apologize, or you start kissing her ass, she’s just found out what you really are, not sex-worthy, but a weak-willed, inferior follower that lacks confidence in themselves.
In fact, she just blew apart your whole façade of confidence like it was made out of cheap glass with just one sentence.
Women Want The Alpha Male
Look! It’s understandable. Women are searching for alpha male traits, a leader, a man who fights for what he wants, a man who is emotionally centered and not easily manipulatable, a guy who doesn’t buckle under pressure, a guy who is positive about himself regardless of what others think, and a girl wants those traits so that if you mate with her and she gets pregnant, she knows that her kids aren’t going to be losers but will be leaders.
Her genetic lineage is on the line to pick the right guy and women will shit test, and shit test, and shit test because it works.
It works to quickly weed out all the men who are not the real deal and weed them out in a fast, reliable fashion. Shit tests cut through all the lies and the bullshit that men will tell her and it makes no sense for any man to be butthurt about this.
Imagine Women That Don’t Shit Test:
Just imagine a girl that doesn’t shit test guys.
If she’s pretty, she’s going to hit on by dozens of men that want to fuck her, and if she’s on Instagram, that can be hundreds of men that want to fuck her.
If a girl doesn’t shit test at all, she’ll just end up sleeping with the first loser that comes along and tells her a good story. She’s going to get impregnated by some complete douchebag that just lies to her and she buys into it like a complete dummy because she has no sense of standards.
What if all women were like that? They’d be having sex with strings of losers because they have no standards or they’d sleep with the first loser guy that came along and the human race would be fucked.
Consider the flipside where women complain, “Why do men have to go after women with big boobs, and big ass, and clear skin, and long hair? It’s not fair. It’s bullshit! That’s sexism.”
Well, men chase after physically healthy women because physically healthy women tend to have physically healthy babies, which keeps the next generation of humans healthy. There’s no reason to be butthurt or bitter about that either. It’s just the way it is. It’s just the way that evolution designed us to keep the species going.
Why Tests Are a GOOD Thing
But here’s the cool thing, here’s the little secret, my friend: you can learn how to use women’s shit test to your advantage, and I’m going to demonstrate to you exactly how in a couple of seconds, but also realize that getting shit tests is a good sign. It’s not a bad thing.
A test is an indicator of interest from the girl because if she’s testing you, at least you’re in the realm of a guy she might sleep with because girls generally don’t test guys she’s not attracted to. She’s not going to test her male friend in the friend zone she has no sexual chemistry with.
When you get tested, be happy. Think to yourself, “Ah, she’s testing me. She must like me,” because that’s the truth.
The closer she gets to having sex with you, the more she will test you, so don’t be butthurt about that. Welcome it.
Build Your Value
Shit tests are also a tremendous way to build your value very quickly in a woman’s eyes.
Passing them creates an opportunity for you to demonstrate your sex-worthiness. Girls love to test guys just to experience you passing the test. Women get off on it because when you pass the test, you become instantly more attracted to them. It’s like you grow a big pair of tits and women love it.
It’s like she’s thinking, “Let’s see how he responds to this one. Ah, he passed! Whoa! I’m getting chills. That’s hot! All right, let’s throw another one at him. Oh, he passed. This is good. This feels incredible. I’m getting those butterflies in my stomach.”
Girls want to feel that because each time you pass, she’s experiencing and feeling your masculinity and that’s why learning how to pass these tests is so important because remember, my friend, remember women will never stop testing you.
Women will always test you, will always ping you to see if you’re still an alpha male even years into a relationship to see if you’re still the best man for her and experience that emotional rush of you passing her tests.
It’s something you will never escape, so you might as well learn how to use her tests to your advantage. That being the case, the worst thing you can do when a woman tests you is to try to justify yourself because instead of spiking her attraction, it deflates it.
On FAILING tests
“Are you here alone? You mean you didn’t come with any of your friends?”
“Ah…ah…I mean I called my friends, but they didn’t want to come out with me. I mean I tried my best, maybe next time.”
Or find yourself backing down. “Is that your pickup line? Is it?”
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it like that. Yeah, I guess it was a little bit of creepy of me.”
Or finding yourself changing your opinion just to please her. “You mean you like country music? Pfff!”
“Yes—pff! Actually no. I mean I don’t like it. Yeah, I mean I like the music you like.”
That’s not knowing where you stand, that’s not knowing who you are. That’s not taking pride in yourself. That’s being so eager to please and prostate yourself to a random girl that you know almost nothing about just to get her approval.
These guys, they’re just blowing in the wind. They’re not centered. They don’t have roots. They don’t know what they want, and a girl can just knock him down with one little test and he’s done. He’s gone, and he’s off crying in the corner somewhere with his little puppy tail tucked between his legs.
Don’t let that be you. Here’s how to pass a shit test, and I’m going to give you a couple of different ways here.
Method #1: Simply ignore it
You pretend like she didn’t even say it like you didn’t even hear it.
If it doesn’t for the positive vibes and the direction that you’re going, you don’t even acknowledge it. You’re so much into what you’re doing and what you’re saying, it doesn’t even register with you.
Now the key to making this work is to remain emotionally unreactive and to not flinch.
One caveat, however, when ignoring shit tests generally works but not in all cases. For example, if there’s a pause in the conversation, like a long silence and she shits tests you and you just ignore it, then you can seem weak like you are being evasive, or she keeps hammering you with it and brings it up again and again and again, you can only really ignore it once before it starts to look socially mis-calibrated and weird to keep ignoring her.
Method #2: respond in a very straightforward and logical manner
For example, she says to you, “I don’t like the color of your shirt.”
You just say, “Yeah, that’s all right.”
Or she says to you, “You know, you have a really weird look about you.”
You can just tell her, “Yeah, well, I don’t really have a response to that.”
You see, you’re just agreeing with her in a flat, logical, straightforward manner. Then you very quickly switch the topic and talk about something else. You see, you’re not buying into her frame that she’s trying to set for you, which is to get you reacting to her.
Method #3: Misinterpret
You take whatever negative frame that she’s setting for you and you flip it around so now it’s a positive or a sexual frame, or a sexual advance on her part.
Like if a girl says to you, “Don’t get any ideas, mister. I don’t kiss guys I just meet.”
You can tell her, “Oh, my, my, I just started talking to you. You’ve already got sex on the brain, little lady. Just slow down a little. Let’s get to know each other better.”
That kind of sexual misinterpretation where you’re misinterpreting a girl to be the sexual aggressor does a couple of things.
It flips the scripts so that she’s the one chasing you and it’s clearly unreactive, which is the key ingredient to passing any shit test.
It challenges her in a fun way, essentially throwing the challenge back on her and putting her on the defensive.
Method #4: Agree and Exaggerate
Agree with her and then exaggerate it to the point where it looks ridiculous. For example, the girl might tell you, “Yeah, you know you seem a little bit nerdy.”
You just agree, exaggerate it, and throw it back at her like you might say to her, “Yeah, I’m the biggest nerd ever. I like to go to the comic bookstore and sit there and solve calculus problems. I’ve got an Einstein poster up on my wall and I write quadratic equations on it. What do you think about that?”
What this does is show that you don’t care. You do not give a fuck about being a little bit nerdy. You’re embracing it. You’re not flinching or reacting like it’s a bad thing, which is the key to passing any shit test.
It gets the girl to laugh because clearly, it’s a joke, clearly, it’s an exaggeration. It just shows how absurd it all is.
The Key: Remain Emotionally Unreactive
Now notice what these four methods all have in common.
If you remain emotionally unreactive, if you don’t flinch, if you keep holding eye contact with a playful smile, that’s the core essential of what you do to pass the test where you stay grounded, you stay icy, you stay on your purpose.
You remain the rooted tree and let the girl waffle around you where you stay strong and you shout from the mountaintops, “No! This is my frame. I’m the fucking boss, and these are my fucking rules,” in a playful manner, which is easier said than done.
For example, if you’re balding and you’re self-conscious about it, and she calls you out on that, fact is, my friend, you’re likely to crumble right then and there and scoot away crushed and feeling self-conscious about your receding hairline.
Or she’s a hot girl and you’re hypnotized, you’re mesmerized by her, and you’re needy, and she tells you to buy her a drink, you will likely reflexively buy her a drink.
Or if she starts talking about other guys, you’ll get jealous, you will reflexively start badmouthing them, and you will lower your value in her eyes.
Practice Makes Perfect
Here’s the thing, my friend. Passing tests, particularly from a hot girl takes practice.
It takes practice, feeling that pressure and knowing how to handle the pressure so it just deflects off. That practice comes from going out, meeting girls, and talking to girls, meeting girls and talking to girls, meeting girls and talking to girls. You do that, and you will improve.
Now I’ve shared with you effective ways of passing shit tests, but there’s even more advanced methods like getting a shit test from a girl, a girl who doesn’t even really like you, a girl who thinks you’re ugly or not her type, and turning that around into an instant kissing make-out with her, using a special line I’ve developed from years of field testing.
Just imagine talking to an amazing beauty, a woman who is out of your league, and she’s throwing all kinds of drama at you, and you use that very material she gives you to make out with her passionately. That’s the kind of heavy power you want on your side, my friend, when it comes to getting a hot girlfriend.
What I’ve done is pack all my juiciest lines, secrets, and techniques, the nuclear weaponry of attraction into Girlfriend Express, Girlfriend Express, being the simplest, fastest, easiest way to get that one special loving girl in your arms forever.
Just click on the link in the description below or tap on this button right here to learn more about Girlfriend Express. It’s what delivers the goods.