I got a very exciting video for you here today, and that is now that you got the girl’s phone number, how do you meet up with her for that first date?
Let’s say you spot a really cute girl. You go up to her. You approach her. You guys start talking. You starting hitting it off. The interaction is going pretty well. She seems to like you. You ask her for the phone number. You’re like, “Put the digits into my phone, girl.” She does it. Now you want to meet up with her later.
How do you do that?
Well, the big, big mistake guys make is that they are lacking patience. The very first text to send a girl is, “Hey! Let’s up for drinks at 7 o’clock at XYZ.” That’s a pretty big request right off the bat, and you risk hearing the words no from the girl or even worse, she doesn’t text you back at all because that’s a pretty big thing you’re asking the girl. It’s a pretty big jump.
Remember we see a girl as men and we’re like yes or no; we definitely want her or we definitely don’t.
But women need to be brought up gradually, so even though you’re having a great interaction, that was something built up gradually. She started to warm up to you and now that it’s the next day and you’re texting her, you kind of have to assume that she’s fallen back a little bit.
It’s not going to be like starting at zero again but again you have to gradually warm her up. You can’t just go in for the kill right away.
So instead of risk hearing no or not hearing back from her, which can be very hard to recover from, you want to build a yes ladder, or a series of responses from the girl so that you’re building up positive momentum where she’s responding back to you in a positive way and only then do you send out that request to meet up on a date.
You want to build up a yes ladder where it’s more guaranteed and more safe for you to ask her out on that date for drinks or wherever you want to go.
Guys, here’s the thing: if you text her right away out on a date, it conveys a number of negative qualities about yourself. It makes you look needy. It makes you look desperate. It makes you look pushy. It makes you look like you don’t have anything else going on.
This girl is going to be wondering, “Why doesn’t this guy just want to know me for me? Why is he being so pushy about getting the date? Why is he being so pushy about having things happen so quickly? Why don’t we take it slow?”
She’s going to see you as socially awkward that maybe you don’t know what you’re doing or that maybe you’ve never met a hot girl like her before and you don’t know the social customs on how things are supposed to go down and she’s just going to ignore you, so you really don’t want to risk getting that no. You don’t want to look like a social creep, right?
There should be a series of 3, or 4, or 5 texts going back and forth where you are simply conveying value first and you allow that attraction and comfort to build up a little bit. It doesn’t mean you are going to know all of her deepest fantasies or get to know this girl on a deep level through texting you. Definitely you don’t want to do that.
Remember the purpose of texting, as discussed in a previous video, is simply to get the girl out on a date. That’s all it’s for, but sometimes the fastest way to do that is not just to rush in on a very first text, asking to meet up with her.
You want to have a series of value-building texts and we’re going to cover that in some of the next videos.