Psychological research shows humans base the majority of our perception of people on the first couple of minutes we spend with each other. This initial perception extends and influence our relationship to the person for weeks, and even months.
So, assuming you meet someone you’re really into, how can you impress him or her through your first interaction? How can you instantly generate spark and chemistry between both of you?
You know, those warm fuzzy feeling that lovers talk about?
1) Tease Her (In a funny way)
Old friends tease each other all the time. You do it with your family, you do it with that childhood friend, most of all, you do it about your most embarrassing personality traits.
You tease her about being childlike/crazy when she does something silly. Girls love to be teased about being childlike, it makes them feel feminine in some way.
The last time I teased a girl, I was at a beer pong party and she was telling me she how good she was at beer pong. I told her that, that playing beer pong was probably her college major, insinuating that, that’s probably everything she knew about life.
You can also get creative with your teases. You can start off with the compliment first, and then tease right after the compliment. It’s an age old dating concept commonly refer to the ‘push pull’.
Teasing her also helps ease the interaction between you and her. Old friends tease each other all the time. It also adds dynamic to your interaction. There’s nothing more boring than getting to know someone by asking a bunch of questions.
You can get better at teasing girl a or by working on your improvisation skills by observing comedians.
2) Use ‘I’ and ‘You’ in Conversations
Getting to know someone is an expression of the identity of both parties. It’s about the expression of your identity and the expression of hers.
When you talk only about external events (such as the weather, or places you’ve been or where she’s from), you’re severely limiting yourself. There’s no emotional connection, no vulnerability, no rough edges. Human beings are attracted to rough edges.
On the other end, if you’re keeping the focus solely on her, you’re putting all the spotlight on her, and she doesn’t really know anything about you. You end up becoming the ‘entertainer’. Guys are often uncomfortable with talking about themselves. They are also usually shit poor at expression how they feel.
The easiest way apply this principle is to this is to include ‘I’ in your conversation. It personalises the interaction a lot more. You should also include ‘You’ as well. When you, use ‘you’, you get put her in a position to open up as well.
‘I like that about you’
‘Don’t be an asshole to me’
‘I feel X emotion about this place’
‘I was at… and I felt…’
‘You probably felt… I get that… I also felt that…’
‘I feel that you are not that kind of person… or are you?’
When you’re making the conversations about her, and yourself, you’re expressing your identity and getting her to express hers. She also prefers it that way. Guess who’s everybody favourite topic? No surprises here: themselves.
3) Find Something Unique about Her
So far, you’ve teased her, you’ve shown that you are no pushover and you’re fun, the next thing you can do is to connect with her on a deeper level
Through the art of cold reading, you probably already found out about her occupation, her hobbies and etc.
You can that empathize, find something unique about her lifestyle, job or occupation and say: ‘That must be really painful’ or ‘That’s really interesting, I’ve never met a girl…’
Imagine if someone took the effort to notice how you put in effort into the details of your three pin strip suit and complimented you on that. Imagine if someone went on to say: ‘you know, I really like the details of your suit, there must be a lot of effort and attention that goes into that, not everyone pays into such attention these days’.
How will you feel about that? You’ll feel f*cking amazing. That’s right! Now, flip that around and find something unique about her and appreciate her for that.
Note, you can’t fake it, when you say something, you got to mean it. Girls are pretty good at differentiating intentions. Take this as an opportunity to cultivate vulnerability and a genuine appreciating for others.
4) Relate to Her with Emotions
Guys suck at talking about emotions. Let’s admit it. However, if you want to differentiate yourself from 99% of the guys out there, then you should do it.
Instead of talking about facts, you should talk about what you felt during those events.Not about the facts of the event itself. Feelings include: Sadness, happiness, depression, vulnerable, nostalgic and etc.
‘I felt really lonely whilst taking a being on a trip to Tokyo. For some reason, it felt empty. This was despite dating a Japanese girl there. Perhaps I was running away from something.’
‘I went to Tokyo last May. I dated a Japanese girl there. We hanged out for a week and I went to Osaka. I flew back to Singapore after a week in Japan.’
See the huge difference here?
When you talk in emotions, you already differentiate yourself from the majority of the men out there. Let’s face it, the majority of men out there can’t talk about their emotions because it’s seen as ‘weak’ to do so.
Well, if it’s ironically so difficult to do so, why aren’t you strong enough to do it?
5) Touching Her: Physicality
Throughout the conversation, you can start touching her socially, punctuating your sentences and conversations with light toughing. Psychological research has shown that people who touch others in a social interaction are more charismatic and dominant.
6) Make Future Plans on the Spot
Lastly, making future plans right there and then can help in creating a spark in the first impression. Ideally, this done when she has shown a little interest in you.
Let’s say she found out that does quite adventurous activities and you’ve always wanted to go bungee jumping. You can say:
‘You’re awesome (after she says something adventurous about herself), perhaps we can go bungee jumping together some day.’
Or, if you just find her pleasant to be around with. You can say:
‘You seem like a cool person to be around with, I come here with my friends regularly, let’s party some day together.’
This is normally followed up with a contact exchange. This way, you won’t be just another stranger that chats her up. You’ll become a potential regular person in her life.
When you’re in meeting girls in a club environment, or you’re approach a beautiful stranger whilst she’s running off to catch a train, understanding these fast ways to create spark a a social interaction will be helpful in increasing your dating dating success.
You can also use these principles it in EVERY social interaction you are in.
Remember, it’s always your responsibility to move the interaction forward. It’s your responsibility to find something unique in everyone. It’s your responsibility to generate the dynamics interaction between you and her. It’s your responsibility to overcome your fear of flirting physically and be more dominant in your social interactions.
Cause if you don’t, nobody will do it for you, ever.
Submitted from MarcusSocial.org