Now maybe you are not the best-looking guy, maybe you’re a little bit ugly, but you still want to date those really beautiful, pretty amazing girls that you see walking by every single day and you’re just wondering how can I do it? Maybe I’m just not good looking enough. Maybe I don’t deserve that kind of girl.
Well, my friend, you actually can get that kind of girl.
This video here, I’m giving you the five reasons why an average-looking guy, or even an ugly guy can date a really pretty girl that is out of his league, five reasons why you may actually have an advantage over the better-looking dudes, why you can make it work.
Understanding these five reasons up inside your heard is very important; otherwise, you’re just going to be following that same road of mediocrity, dating those same kind of girls that you know you could do a lot better, but you just don’t quite know how, or you just don’t believe in yourself and you are living in this pain and loneliness, where you are fantasizing about those girls from afar but you don’t feel like you have that entitlement to go get them.
When you understand these five reasons, all that kind in in instant. At the end of this video, my friend, I’m also covering one huge mistake that you’re almost certainly making if you’re an average-looking dude and you want to be dating those really beautiful girls, a mistake you are almost certainly making so you want to watch all the way to the end of this video to catch that.
In this video, it’s not some mainstream, bullshit dating advice like, “Buy this pair of glasses from my sponsor. You put on this pair of glasses, and it’s going to make the girl feel horny for you.” Or, “Buy from my sponsor, the monthly razor that will come to your door for only $39.95, and when that girl sees that you are so cleanly shaven, she’s going to want to date you right away.”
No, my friend! This is real deal advice, maybe a little bit of tough love, maybe a little bit controversial, but it’s what you must hear if you are an average-looking guy and you want to date above yourself.
Now when it comes to your looks, so many guys say they need to have money and looks. “Jesse, I’m an Indian guy. I like white girls, but white guys have it so much easier. White girls just don’t like Indian guys.” Or, “Jesse, I’m a black guy. Everyone is a little bit racist. They give me a hard time.” Or, “I need to have these piercing blue eyes that just penetrate into a girl’s soul.” Or, “I’m a little bit short. I need to be a couple of inches taller. If I were just a couple of inches taller, I could do it. My life would be so much easier.”
“I need to have the hot fancy sports car because on YouTube I’ve seen guys pick up girls really easily just because they’re standing next to a fancy car. How am I going to compete? How am I going to get these girls with the limitations that I have?”
Are those things true? Yes! ultimately to some degree, they are true, but that is a loser’s game because it is not easily fixed. You can’t easily catch up. You can’t easily just get plastic surgery on your face. You can’t easily change the color of your skin. You can’t easily add 5 inches to your height. You can’t easily have a mansion up in Beverly Hills, and if you try to play that game, you’re always going to lose because there is always going to be some other guy that is richer than you, some other guy that is better looking than you.
Comparing yourself to other dudes, having that man jealousy, it’s always going to beat you down. it’s always going to eat at your self-confidence. It’s always going to be a negative self-talk in your head that just destroys your soul.
Yes, I get it. Maybe it would be easier if you were that 6-foot tall good-looking jacked white guy with the piercing blue eyes, whose parents send him $20,000 a month to just spend on lifestyle. Maybe if it was you in him standing side-by-side and the girl was forced to choose, she’d go for him. Maybe girls in general go for the good-looking guy over the average-looking guy.
But what good is complaining? What is that going to do for you? Are you just going to go crawling home on your hands and knees with your tail between your legs and just give up, complaining all the way, crying like a little baby? What good is that going to do for you?
Guess who wins, my friend, when you give up? You’re not winning. You’re the loser. The girl is a loser. But these big corporations. These corporations that want to sell you on the idea that you need to buy things to fix that big gaping hole in your confidence and make them lots of money in profits. You need to buy the right kind of hand cream for $40 to attract that girl, hand cream that probably costs them $2 to manufacture, that you need to buy the right cologne to get that girl. Spend $60 on this cologne, probably cost them $5 in Indonesia to manufacture. You need to be buying the right sports car to drive up and impress that girl before you are worthy of dating her.
These are the lies. This is the idea that they want to sell you on. They want you to buy into that notion because it makes them big profits. There’s a couple of guys at the very top that when you buy into that lie, you make them very rich, and you are paying for their castle on the hill. You are paying for their Lamborghini. You are paying for their vacation to Monaco on a yacht surrounded by girls in bikinis.
Or companies make a lot of money when you just simply give up and decide you’re not worthy. You lose yourself in fantasy entertainments like playing video games. You’re going to spend $60 and all your time watching advertisements, watching a television screen. You are making them very wealthy as well, so do not let them win, my friend. Do not let them win!
Now you actually have some advantages, my friend.
Your first advantage is that the competition is very low because most guys, they give up. They just give up. They don’t even try. Most guys—average-looking dudes as well as good-looking dudes buy into this narrative that they need to buy the $40 hand cream. They need to have the right cologne. They need to drive an expensive sports car to get the girl because they do not feel entitled. They don’t feel worthy. They want to fill this gaping hole in their confidence with all this stuff that they need to buy, so they just give up, which means your competition is very low.
Your typical pretty girl walking down the street, she’s not getting hit up by tons of guys. Most guys are way too intimidated to go up and meet her, yet everybody wants to meet her, but most guys just won’t do it.
If you have basic game skills, you don’t even need to be that good or that advanced, but if you just want to go up to her, be a friendly and cool guy and keep your shit together, you will make a big impression on her. You will really stand out because 99 percent of guys can’t do it. They won’t do it. They won’t even try.
The second advantage you have, my friend, is that even the good-looking, tall rich white guy with the piercing blue eyes and he comes from a rich family, he does not feel entitled to these girls as well, which means the competition is low.
Maybe he’s a little bit on the skinny side, and he’s self-conscious about that. Maybe he got bad grades in school, and he thinks he’s stupid, and he’s self-conscious about that. Maybe his parents ignored when he was growing up, or said negative things to him, so now he has this negative self-talk in his head, and he’s self-conscious with these pretty girls. He doesn’t feel entitled. He does not feel worthy.
I was coaching this one dude who by all accounts was a very good-looking man. He was tall. He had the blue eyes. He was really well-dressed, but he felt self-conscious because he thought he was too pale, and he didn’t like his freckles. Another guy I coached, he was this black dude who was tall and jacked and would be the fantasy of a lot of women, but he was bullied when he was younger and he really didn’t get past that.
The point is a lot of these good-looking dudes, they have their own issues. they have their own insecurities that hold them back, that hold them back from taking action, so again the competition is low, and these girls are not getting hit up as much as you might think.
A third advantage, you have, my friend, is that good-looking dudes are just not that motivated. They’re not. You know that saying, “The good is the enemy of the great?” Well, that fully applies here.
A good-looking dude, he got laid young, maybe when he was 14, 15, or 16. He’s had a couple of girls that are 6’s and 7’s,just kind of fall into his lap because he was good looking. They chased him. He didn’t have to put in any effort. He didn’t have to work for it, so why is he going to chase after 8’s, 9’s and 10 when he has to work for that, put in the energy for that, put himself on the line, take the risk for that when he’s already having his needs meet, when he’s already getting sex. Yes, maybe those are not the ideal girls he wants, but he just doesn’t feel that fundamental drive to step up because he’s already got the good. Why does he have to go for the great?
Think of the popular kid, the popular guy in high school where he’s showered with attention from girls, showered with validation, and afterwards, outside of high school, he flounders. He becomes the loser because he never felt like he had to push himself socially, emotionally, or intellectually in class.
Or the really pretty girl who is just showered with attention and validation purely because of her looks when she is very young. Nobody challenges her. Nobody pushes her. She doesn’t feel like she needs to challenge and push herself because everything is handed to her on a silver platter. “The good is the enemy of the great,” so when she graduates from high school, she is emotionally stunted. She is socially stunted. She is intellectually stunted.
The fourth advantage you have, my friend, is that you have pain inside you, loneliness, the desire for something more. It’s that leverage of pain that drives you to take extreme action to get these prettier girls whereas the good-looking dude, he lacks that leverage. He lacks that pain. Give him the leverage to take extreme action. In fact, the guys with the prettiest girlfriends that I know tend to be very average-looking dudes because they have that pain deep inside them that gave the leverage to take extreme action to get what they wanted.
As an example, imagine your parents gave you $3,000 a month to live on, no strings attached. You can spend that $3,000 anyway you want. Now that’s not living rich. That’s not super wealthy, but it’s enough to be comfortable, right? Well, that guy is not going to start working 80 hours a week to become a millionaire trying to start his own business. He’s jut not. he’s not going to feel incentivized to do it.
But take a guy from relative poverty who watched his parents grind themselves to the bone, watched his parents destroy their bodies working long hours in maybe a factory or a job they hated. He, my friend, will feel that incentive to step up, maybe work extra long hours starting a business, maybe become a millionaire because he has this incentive to do it. He doesn’t want to end up in some crappy factory job because that is the direction his life is headed if he does not take extreme right now.
That’s the same reason that a lot of average-looking dudes and rather ugly-looking dudes sometimes end up with the very best prettiest girls because they have the most incentive to step up and take massive action.
The fifth advantage you have, my fried, in being an average-looking dude likes in women’s psychology itself.
Now, we men, we are very visual. We just look at a girl and we know we want to have sex with her or not. We can size her up in a couple of seconds.
But for women, attraction is not visual. It’s behavioral. They want to see how you behave. Are you able to hold eye contact with them or not? are you able to remain cool and calm in front of them? Are you able to project your voice in a confident way?
She wants to see if you can hold up your end of the conversation. She wants to see how you treat other people, so she wants to watch your behavior. That takes time, whether you’re a good-looking guy, an average-looking guy, or an ugly-looking guy, she still needs to make that evaluation of your behavior.
Girls will put you into this twilight zone of “let’s wait and see.” Let’s wait and see how he acts. Let’s wait and see how he behaves because overtime, you will become more attractive and grow the equivalent of large breasts and tiny little waist, or you will get uglier and uglier because attraction for a girl is like a temperature knob. It can be either turned up over time or turned down over time.
If you’re an average-looking dude, your advantage is that time is on your side. All you have to do is stay in set long enough that the girl can see your behavior, so that you can turn that temperature knob of attraction up over time, slowly and gradually. Stay in set long enough that you grow the equivalent of those large breasts and the tiny little waist.
The next advantage you have, my friend, is now you’re going to understand the self-fulfilling prophecy of negative feedback loops where if you believe that you need to be this tall, jacked, white guy of a certain race with blue eyes and blond hair, and you need to be driving a Ferrari to get the really pretty girls, you’re going to believe when you go up to her that you do not feel entitled to talk to her. You do not feel entitled to be there. You’re going to lack confidence. You’re going to believe that this girl is going to flat out reject you, so before you even go up to her, you reject yourself.
What happens when you believe ahead of time that the girl is likely to reject you, you give off very subtle micro-expressions in your behavior and in your body language that convey to the girl that you believe, “Yes, you’re probably going to reject me, so just get it over with. Just kill me right now.” Where you give off very subtle micro-expressions like you don’t make eye contact, you look down, or your voice is very timid, or you don’t square up with the girl, or you’re conveying this message that, “I’m not worthy to be talking to you,” and the girl picks up on the bad vibe and her response is going to be, “You’re really sweet, honey, but I got better things to do, so goodbye.”
Look, if you don’t believe in yourself, how is the girl ever going to believe in you? Then you count that rejection as evidence that, “Jesse, look! It’s only looks and money that matter because I got rejected. I must be this average-looking guy. I can’t do this.”
Then because you have more evidence, that’s what you’re believing, you go up to the second girl, you’re even more nervous now. You feel even less entitled. When you’re more nervous, you feel less entitled. You feel even less confident. Your subtle micro-expressions and behavior is even more worse now. you’re even more timid. You look away more.
You can barely approach the girl. It comes across as bad. It comes across as weak. Then the girl is even more likely to reject you, and then you start having that as evidence that only looks matter where there’s negative feedback loop where you go to this downward spiral where it’s not about the look, but you fail the interview where you rejected yourself before you even gave the girl a chance to get to know you.
The solution for is just having an awareness of this negative feedback cycle, how it plays in our own psychology, how it plays into our own human biases, how it tends to warp our view of the world. Having that awareness is the beginning of treating the problem.
Then when you talk to a girl, say this is the interaction you have, you just pull out the good parts. You pull out the parts that you think went well, that you want to replicate, that you want to do in the future. Then all the rest, the parts you kind of failed at, the parts that stank, you just throw it away.
You throw it over your shoulders. You don’t let it emotionally affect. You don’t dwell on it. You don’t read extra meaning into it like, “I must suck. It must be my looks. It must be this. it must be that.” No. you just throw it away and you ignore it. That’s how you get better. That’s how you improve over time by drawing out the good lessons and throwing out the rest.
Let’s break it down, my friend. Let’s connect all the dots why you can be an average-looking dude, even ugly-looking dude, be really short, or be broke, or be a certain race, or have a certain look, and can still get the beautiful girls you want.
- The competition is really low. Most guys take themselves out of the race. They just take themselves out of the competition, even the good-looking guys. most of the good-looking guys take themselves out the running.
- Good-looking guys are just not incentivized to step up. Good-looking guys are just not incentivized to take action, as that saying, “Where good is the enemy of the great,” so again, most good-looking guys are not even your competition.
- Your pain, loneliness, suffering gives you massive leverage to take massive action to get you done.
- The way girls work, thankfully it’s not like us, guys. For women, it’s like temperature knob where she wants to observe your behavior over time. If your behavior is good, her temperature will gradually rise, her attraction for you will gradually rise which mean that time is on your side. If you can keep that girl in set, you can increase her attraction for you over time despite your looks.
- You now understand that negative feedback cycle, my friend. You are not falling for that trick again where you just pull out the good parts of the interaction, you learn the lessons from the good parts, and you throw out the bad where you have selective blinders on. That’s how you get good.
- Sixth and final tip, my friend, you can dramatically improve your looks through some little tweaks, through some little simple fixes that you can implement instantaneously, and I will be covering those fixes in the next video.