Now Jason wrote into me, “Hey, Jesse, I’ve had a number of dates with girls I’ve met.”
“But these dates never lead anywhere.”
“How can I get the girl back to my place for some happy times?”
Well…that’s an important question actually.
Because a lot of guys go on that first date, and the date comes to a natural conclusion.
And the girl goes on home.
He meets her on a second date, and the date comes to a conclusion.
And the girl goes on home.
And the third date…and the fourth date…
And the girl goes on home.
So, it’s a long process.
But really, it doesn’t need to be that way.
You can very often typically pull a girl back to your place right after the first date IF you set things up right.
Meet near your place
Now I’m going to let you in on a little secret of how to get laid off the first date.
And this is the number one rule.
You want to meet the girl on your first date as close to where you live as possible.
Meet the girl as close to your place as absolutely possible.
That means, ideally, the first date location should be within a 5- to 15- minute walk from your place.
That’s right! Meet her within a 5- to 15-minute walk from your place.
So that when you bounce out of the first date location, you can very easily walk her right on over back to your place in a few minutes.
And if that’s absolutely impossible…
The next best is to meet her within be within a 5-minute DRIVING distance or Uber ride back to your place.
So that’s the rule:
The best first date location to meet a girl is the one that is ultra-close to your place.
That is your #1 criteria for choosing a date location.
Every other factor comes second.
Example of a pull
Because what you want to be able to do is…
When she’s really into you…
She’s giving you those big, bright anime eyes…
The sexual tension is turned up…
And it’s time to pull her OUT of there and back to your place…
You want be able to just say…
“Ah, let’s go for a walk. No big deal.”
“Let’s go outside and get some air.”
“I’m sick of this bar. Let’s go hang out.”
“I have to get my bank card, or some cash. Let’s go to my place right quick.”
“Besides, I want to quickly show you that wine bottle, or the video clips, or whatever.”
“It won’t take long. Let’s go!”
And then after just a short walk, you’re back at your place in 5 minutes.
OR…if you can’t walk, you quietly just call up an Uber. The Uber shows up and you’re back at your place in 5 minutes.
Excellent logistics are king!
A guy with mediocre first date game but excellent logistics will get laid more than a guy with awesome first date game but crap logistics.
So you always want to meet the girl on that first date as NEARBY as possible.
That is the golden rule for choosing your first date venue.
Mistake #1: meeting far to convenience HER
Now here’s the big first date mistake guys make all the time:
They’re thinking to themselves,
“I really want this date to go well.”
“I hope she shows up. I don’t want to get flaked on.”
“Well she does live a 60-minute drive away, so, if I meet her halfway in the middle…”
“Where *I* do 30 minutes of the driving…”
“And SHE does 30 minutes of the driving…”
“Then she’ll more likely show up. It’ll just be easier for her.”
And that does have a logic to it, doesn’t you.
After all, you want to grease the slide as much as possible, to get her to show up.
And what better way than make it a more convenient drive for her?
NOT WORTH IT
But here’s the thing…
If the girl really wants to meet you, if you did your job WELL on the initial meeting…
She’ll go out of her way to spend that extra 30 minutes to do meet you.
And if she’s not feeling it, saving her that transit time, isn’t gonna convince her to show up.
So by you driving off far away to meet her, just to make it convenient for her…
You get very little benefit from that.
She was either going to show up anyway or she wasn’t.
And if you meet her halfway in the middle, you’ve now got this huge handicap weighing you down…
In that you’ve just created terrible logistics for yourself at the end of the date where now you’ve got a LONG drive back home to your place.
Mistake #2: meeting far because the venue is cool
The second big mistake men make is driving out 20 or 30 or 40 minutes across town to a specific bar or coffee shop that they like simply because they think that’s the best place to take her to.
And maybe that venue 30 minutes away IS objectively the ideal venue to take her on a first date.
Maybe that place does have the live music…
Or the best lighting…
Or a great vibe…
Or the most interesting décor…
Or its more fun.
But now, you’re 30 or 40 minutes away from your place.
And now, your logistics for pulling her home after the date are much worse.
So maybe that faraway venue IS more fun.
Maybe it has a cool vibe.
That’s great. But now you’re 30 minutes away now and it’s WAY harder to pull her home.
So when you tell her, “Hey Jessica, let’s go check out my pet rock collection…”
Now you have a 30- or 40-minute drive ahead of you.
And she might get in that car and happily drive 40 minutes with you.
But she might not. Maybe she starts feeling tired on the drive back.
And that’s a lot of time for her logical brain to kick in and think…
“Look I’m driving to this dude’s house…”
“I don’t know him that well…”
“This is moving pretty fast…”
“I’m not that kind of girl.”
It’s just more time for her to change her mind.
What to do instead
So here’s what you want to do instead:
Go to a venue for that first date…
That’s located a 5-minute walk away from your place.
Or a 15-minute walk.
Or a 5-minute drive.
It doesn’t matter if it’s not as fun as the place 30 minutes away.
It doesn’t matter if the lighting isn’t as good.
It doesn’t matter if the food isn’t as good.
It doesn’t matter if the girl has to take a longer trip.
It doesn’t matter.
Go to the venue that’s very, VERY near to your place.
It is worth that tradeoff.
It’s worth it to have a first date location that’s crippled in some area…
But one that has the most superior logistics for pulling the girl back to your place.
Another way to think of it is…
Your number one criteria for choosing where to meet her is making it as close to your place as is reasonably possible.
Remember, at the end of the day, what’s going to make the first date a great first date… is YOU.
It’s not the venue.
She’ll feel sexually charged up and excited… from YOU.
She’ll have a great time or not because of YOU.
The value lies in YOU.
The venue can assist a little. Ultimately, it comes down to YOU.
So don’t worry too much about the most nearby place being the best or not.
She’ll have a great time or not because of you, not the venue.
She can go to the place with the live music and good food on her own time.
Now there is an exception here.
The ONE exception is if you are a complete newbie.
You’re new to dating, or you’re very rusty.
You’re lacking confidence in yourself.
You’re not really sure what say to her.
You don’t have a clear idea on how to physically escalate on a girl…
THEN, I would suggest… picking a venue…
Based on a venue that will do some of the heavy lifting for you.
For example, if there’s a Dave & Busters 30 minutes away…
And you think that playing a game of pool with the girl…
Will give you an excuse to get physical with her.
And you know the bartender there and he’ll make you look cool, and you’ve been there a hundred times before…
So that’s going to help you feel relaxed and in your element…
Then sure, drive all that ways and go there.
Partly because pulling the girl home after the first date is the furthest thing from your mind anyway.
You just want to SURVIVE the first date.
Then sure, you have my permission. Go to the distance location.
But assuming you’re already an intermediate, or at an advanced level…
Choosing a first date venue for its superior logistics of being as near your place as possible…
Should always be the priority and the first factor you consider.