How to Start a Conversation with a Girl– 3 clever ways to open a girl up to you

I’m going to show you some EPIC ways to start a conversation with a girl you like that actually WORK.

Michael wrote into me, “Hey, Jesse. I see girls walk by all the time. What opener do YOU use to get a conversation going with them?”

And Darren commented, “Jesse, I have a question for you. There’s this beautiful girl in my class that I’ve wanted to talk to for a while. But I just don’t know how to start things off. What do you recommend I say?”

Don’t worry, guys. I have your back…

Because we’ll be covering THREE ways to open a girl and start a conversation with her.

We’ll lay out the pros and cons of each method, and at the end of this video, I’ll be giving you my very FAVORITE conversation starter, that *I* personally like to use…

So you want to stick around to the very end of this video to get your hands on that.

So, let’s crack right into it.


So, my friend, do you ever see a beautiful girl walk on by…

And you just wished you could run up and talk to her…

But you just didn’t have that right opening line to make her stop and fall for you?

Have you ever been at a party, or at school, or at work…

And there was the girl of your dreams…

That magical princess who gave you the warm-blooded tingles all over your body standing right there…

And you didn’t know what to say to get the conversation started?

So you just got nervous, or scared, or you froze up…

And maybe you pretended you weren’t interested in the girl…

Which is what I would usually do.

Or you kept trying to make flirty eye contact from afar with her, but of course nothing would happen.

Well, I know how you feel.

Because I struggled with oppressive social anxiety for many years myself.

Well, today we are going to break that cycle and break it for good.

By the end of this video, you’ll know exactly what to say to talk to a pretty girl wherever you meet her.

You’ll know exactly what to say to have her smiling and giving you the goo-goo eyes…

And get her thinking, “Wow, you know, I like that guy. Just something about him just drew me into him.”

So that she’s bragging later that day to her friends, “It was really cool how this guy came up to me!”

 Type #1. Assumption opens…

So, my friend, our first conversation opener is making an assumption about her.

For this to work, you’re going to notice something you see about her and playfully exaggerate it, twist it.

It could be her nationality, or her profession, or say her mood.

For example, you see the girl you want to talk to and you tell her, “Excuse me, miss. I was standing over there and I noticed you on your phone over here.”

“And I just had to come over and tell you…that…you look…quite…ethnically exotic…”

“Let me guess. You are from Scandinavia. Sweden, right?.”

“I say that because of your blonde hair, and you’re so tall and you look like a Viking in another life.”

“Am I right?”

You see, that’s making an assumption about her nationality or where she’s from.

Or instead to start a conversation, you can say, “Excuse me there. I noticed you look very relaxed and happy.”

“Let me guess.”

“You must be a yoga instructor…”

“No wait, I think you must run a spa…”

“Or you zone out and do meditation all day. Am I right?”

You see, that’s making an assumption about her occupation.


What you are doing here is flirtation. It’s a TEASE.

You’re putting her into a box you’ve categorized her as and you’re challenging her to climb her way out of it and explain herself to you.

Naturally, she’ll want to correct you.

Naturally, she’ll want to set the record straight, which will rope her into talking with you.

And this works well because your conversation starter is all about HER.

A woman’s favorite subject is of course herself.

And it’s important to remember you’re not trying to make accurate guesses about her either.

If she looks Hispanic, tease her about being Italian.

If she looks relaxed, tease her about being lost and wandering aimlessly.

You’re not trying to make logical, accurate assumptions about her. It’s quite the opposite.

You want to be wrong in your guess to give her space to invest back into the conversation and correct you.

Type #2. Situational Mini Cold Reads

Now, the second conversation starter I have for you that actually works is the situational mini-cold read.

For the situational mini-cold read, you simply take something you notice about the immediate environment and make a guess.

You make a “cold read” about the girl…

Like if you’re at the grocery store, and you notice the girl is looking at the different flavors of ice-cream, you can tell her,

“Hmm, let me guess. You are deciding if those ice-creams are going to break your diet or not. Am I right.”

Or say the girl is looking down at her phone, and you’re on a school campus, you could tell her, “Hmm. Oh, my god! You are swiping through guys on Tinder again, aren’t you?!”

“Shouldn’t you be studying right now?!”

Or say you spot a girl smiling, you can go up and tell her, “Uh, uh, uh. Look it’s rainy outside right now…”

“That means…No…smiling…allowed.”

“I’m going to have to turn you in for having too much happiness.”

Demonstrates your personality

Obviously, she’s not deciding which ice-cream will break her diet.

Obviously, she’s not swiping through guys on Tinder.

You’re just making a ridiculous assumption.

You’re making a silly, playful, lighthearted guess or cold-read about the girl regarding her specific situation to get a little laugh out of her.

You’re demonstrating your personality to her in a cool, fun, imaginative way.

You need to be creative

Now, the issue here is that you have to think quick on your feet.

You have to be creative.

Because the situation of every girl will be different.

And that could be seen as a downside.

If you just want something memorized that you can just use on every single girl, then a situational mini-cold read conversation starter doesn’t fit that so well.

So, I’ll use mini cold read if one comes to me in the moment and it’s just flowing out of me.

THEN it can be super effective in blowing open a conversation with a girl.

Otherwise, I’ll just stick with making a stock assumption about her nationality, her mood, or her profession.

And if this is all making sense to you so far, and I haven’t lost you yet…

Just leave the comment “boss” in the comment section below.

Type #3. Curiosity openers

Alright, the third conversation starter that actually works on cute girls is opening her with an OPEN LOOP.

You see, when it comes to stories, our brains naturally want to seek out some sort of conclusion like when you hear that your friend got into a car accident.

Well of course, you want to know what happened to him.

You want to know if he’s alright or not.

You want to know how that story turned out.

When you watch a television show and the two characters you care about most get into an argument…

You’ll keep watching for the next 20 to 40 minutes to the end to find out how they resolve it.

Example: Star Wars

When I saw, “Star Wars: The Force Awakens” in theaters years ago that movie was full of open loops.

Who were Rey’s parents?

What was Luke Skywalker doing on that island?

Is Luke going to train Rey?

Will Rey be turned to the dark side?

Who the hell is this guy, Snoke, and where did he come from?

These are all unanswered open loops to keep you coming back to the theater to watch the next movie.

And you can draw a girl into a conversation with you by opening her with an open loop about HER favorite subject: HERSELF.


For example, you might tell the girl, “Hey, real quick. I was just standing over there when I saw you and there’s something I have to tell you.”

You see, NOW you’ve got her curious.

“And it may surprise you a little bit, but I promise you, it’s actually quite nice.”

So yeah, she’s going to want to stick around to find out what it is you noticed about her.

That’s a storyline she’ll want to see the ending to.

She’ll say, “Yes, yes what is it.”

And now you can really draw it out!

“Well, I was just over there when I literally just saw you standing here like a cute colorful little bird.”

You’re drawing it out. You’re drawing it out.

“And what I noticed about you is…”

You’re drawing it our more…

“What I noticed about you is… that you look…very…ethnically…exotic.”

And then you continue on from there.

What the open loop conversation starter does so well is draw the girl in for a moment, so that she gets a larger sample of your personality and charisma…

So that she experiences your laser eye contact, experiences your voice, experiences your energy…

So that by the time you even get to your first line of real conversation…

She’s already hooked in.

And I talk more about open loops in this video: “Get Past the Small Talk – 7 Simple Hacks to Hook Girls In”.

So you’ll want to check out that video too, link in up here on the screen.

Tip #4: My Favorite Starter

Now, I promised you at the very beginning of this video that I’d give you MY favorite conversation starter.

And MY favorite conversation starter is this:

I like to COMBINE all three of these into one big conversation starter.

First, I’ll hit the girl with mini-cold read about the situation.

That gets her to laugh.

Then, next…I’ll reel her in further with an open loop that keeps her engaged and in suspense.

And finally, I’ll state an assumption about her nationality, or her job, or her mood.

And by that time, I’ve demonstrated to her my personality

That I’m relaxed, that I’m playful, that I’m positive…

All with an underlying sexual flirtation.

And the girl wants to talk even more.

And the just attraction grows and grows and can’t be stopped.

And if you want an example of that, check out the link in the description for the Girlfriend Express video.

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