I received a question:
“Hey, Jesse, what’s a good way to start a conversation with a girl that I can just use every time…
“Something I can just memorize and have it work on any girl. Thanks, Humphry”
Well in today’s video…
I *am* going to show you how to start a conversation with a beautiful woman.
This is an easy conversation starter you can use with ANY girl during the daytime…
To spark charged excitement in her, get her talking and excited by you right away…
Even if you’re not the best-looking guy or if the girl is “way out of your league.”
Because that first minute or two IS crucial. That’s your first impression.
That first minute sets the tone of everything else to come.
And it’s particularly in those first minutes that you don’t want to be fumbling around for “what to say next.”
You don’t want to come across as the “nice guy” either but rather as the sexy “bad boy” that’s fun and exciting and intriguing to her.
And with this little conversation starter routine…
You can get the girl engaged, rev her up with charged excitement for you and reel her in like a fish on your fishing line.
And if that sounds good to you, then let’s crack into it.
What most guys do
So what most guys do in a conversation is that they ask a long list of boring, seek-rapport questions to the girl.
Questions she’s heard a thousand times before.
“What do you do?”
“Where are you from?”
This just pegs you like every other guy out there and puts you into the friendly “nice guy” category which just gets you friend-zoned in a flash.
What this little routine does instead is start the conversation off with charged excitement.
Not just any excitement, but charged excitement…
It has a little tension and sparkle of electricity…
It’s got a bit of challenge…
A bit of breaking rapport…
Excitement PLUS tension and electric charge.
It goes against her just a little bit.
Remember, a girl wants to flirt with a guy who will eventually make her want to rip his clothes off.
And charged excitement is the first stage of that. It’s where you “kick the conversation out” and let her know that… this isn’t going to a be a regular boring “nice guy” conversation.
She’s dealing with a sexy bad boy now.
So here’s the structure of this routine.
The first thing you say to her is, “You know what, there’s just something I have to tell you.”
“And it may surprise you a bit.”
“But it’s actually quite nice.”
And then…you shut up.
What you’re doing here is building up suspense and then ending it on an open loop.
It’s about her… that gets her VERY curious to find out what you’re talking about.
What DO you notice about her?
It’s a way to build intrigue and excitement in the girl to draw her into the conversation.
And she WILL ask you.
You’re forcing her to participate right away…
By playing off her curiosity about what you notice.
So you say, “You know what, there’s just something I have to tell you.”
“And it may surprise you a bit. But it’s actually quite nice.”
And then, you shut up.
And she’ll ask you what.
And you tell her, “What I noticed about you is…”
Assumption: Guess Her Nationality
Now you can either say…
“You look rather ethnically exotic,” if she does look at all different or unique.
Or you can tell her, “You don’t look like you’re not from around here.”
Or if she looks like a local, then just tell her, “I’m gonna say you look…”
And now you’re going to guess her nationality…
Or really what country or region or city or state she’s from.
But you’re going to guess something WRONG.
This is key.
You’re NOT trying to guess where she’s actually from.
You’re going to guess something that *challenges* her to correct you.
So for example…
Say she looks like she’s a Latina from South America.
You’d say to her in that case something like…
“What I noticed about you is, you look rather ethnically exotic.”
“I’m going to say you are from the Mediterranean. Italian? No…Moroccan.”
And right away, before she has a chance to respond…
You’re going to tell her THREE reasons WHY you guessed that.
Two complimentary reasons and ONE mild push.
“Italian or Moroccan, because of your…”
“Cute olive skin color…”
“Your big black hair…”
And now the mild push…
“And you’ve got these wild crazy eyes.”
“Am I right?”
Say it’s a white girl who doesn’t look exotic at all and looks like a local.
You’d tell her, “What I noticed about you is I’m going to say you look like…”
“Like you’re from the far North… Alaska…”
“Because of your pretty blue eyes.”
“Your fair smooth skin…”
“And because you’re dressed down rather casual and colorless.”
So there you’ve got two complimentary reasons you think she’s from Alaska…
Her pretty blue eyes and her smooth skin in this case…
And you’ve got one mild push…
That she’s dressed rather casual and colorless.
So you’re complimenting the girl, but you also fit in a mild push or little jab in there to turn the compliment into a push pull.
It’s like, “I like you…but…”
“I’m not 100% completely sold on you yet, girl.”
“You haven’t completely won me over yet.”
That gives her space to chase after you and want to try to win you over.
So little compliment…compliment…plus a little jab.
Next, you’re going to prompt her for a response.
You tell her, “Am I right? Tell me, what’s your story?”
Now the reason you want to guess a WRONG nationality or birthplace is that you want to push her into a box…
And challenge her to climb back out of that box…
Challenge her set the record straight, challenge her to correct you.
That gets the girl talking back. That gets her investing BACK into the conversation.
It keeps the girl ENGAGED in the conversation.
So she’ll laugh and say for example…
“Oh, no! I’m not Italian. I’m not from Morocco. I’m Venezuelan.”
Or she’ll laugh and say, “No, I’m not from Alaska. I’m from here.”
And then you can laugh and tell her, “Oh I see. I was pretty far off wasn’t I.”
Tease: 3 stereotypes
Now the next part.
Wherever she tells you she’s from…
You’re now going to list out 3 stereotypes about that place…
Two nice and complimentary stereotypes…
And one kind of playfully negative stereotype…
As a MILD breaking rapport push.
So imagine she tells you that she’s from Florida.
You’d say to her, “Hmm, in my mind, Florida has beautiful beaches…”
“And too much plastic surgery and mosquitos.”
That’s two complimentary stereotypes and one playfully, mildly negative stereotype.
You can even tease her a little, “Have you ever wrestled a crocodile before?”
Or tell her, “You’re not one of those girls are you? With 3 or 5 different plastic surgeries?”
“Because if you are, I’m going to have to break up with you.”
Or say, she’s from Mother Russia.
You tell her, “Ah…you’re from Russia.”
“I think of beautiful fields of snow…
“And drinking vodka…”
“And the KBG.”
So two complimentary things and one mild push.
Then you can tease her a bit more, based on what you just listed.
“Ooh, am I in trouble? Are you gonna arrest me? Do I need to be scared of you?”
Or say she’s just a local in your home city, nothing that special or interesting.
Then just list out stereotypes of wherever you are from as if you’re the foreigner.
Tease: 3 more stereotypes
Next, you’re going to take 3 things about her city, region, or country…
And paint a romantic picture of her being rather lazy and goofing off.
So let’s say she’s from Brazil.
You can tell her, “I can already imagine it.”
“A week ago, you were lying on Copacabana Beach…soaking up the sun…”
“Swiping through Facebook and sipping a kai-purr-REEN-yah in your bikini.”
“And you took a flight all the way over to here. And now you’re thinking, why the HELL did I come here?!”
“Am I right?!”
Again, you’re stating an assumption about her…
Making a declarative statement, trying to shove her into a box.
It’s a challenge you’re presenting for her to CORRECT you and climb her way out of that box.
Essentially, it gets her talking back.
It FORCES her to talk back and engage.
Or say she’s a local…
Like you’re from a smallish city, and she’s from that same smallish city…
So there’s not as much to work with.
You can still tell her, “I can already imagine it.”
“You were at the spa, having a spa day, getting your mani-pedi…”
“Swiping through guys on Tinder…”
“With a drink in your hand and a mud mask on your face.”
“And now you’ve found yourself right here and you’re thinking, I need another spa day.”
“Am I right?!”
What that accomplished
So there you go.
That’s a lot more interesting to a girl than just asking her seeking-rapport questions like…
“What do you do? Where are you from?”
Because that’s not interesting. That’s not challenging her. That’s not surprising.
But with this nationality structure…
You’re leading the conversation, you’re making statements.
You’re showing intent, giving her compliments, but also pushing her and disqualifying her mildly at the same time.
So she doesn’t know exactly where you stand.
You like her but HOW MUCH do you like her?
She still has to win you over.
AND you’re being funny and surprising too.
You’re doing most of the talking in that first minute, which takes the burden of carrying the conversation OFF the girl’s shoulders.
It’s got that playful challenge to create feelings of charged excitement in the girl.
And you can use that SAME formula on ANY girl you meet.
It provides you with a great structure for the first minute or two of conversation…
So that you’re not fumbling around for “what to say next” in that first crucial minute or two.