don’t you hate it when you go on a first date with a girl, a very beautiful woman in front of you, and those first 10 or 20 minutes, you’re doing all the talking? You’re trying to infuse that date with energy.
You’re trying to perk that girl up because you want to make a good first impression, so you do all the entertaining stuff. You run all your attraction material on her.
You try to hype her up. You just go boom, boom, boom. You’re bringing out those big guns to blast her over and send her hair back, hype that up with some energy and get her feeling your good vibes.
But that girl, she’s just hanging back. She’s acting a little bit mysterious, a little bit aloof. She’s not contributing as much into it as you are.
In fact, you got to keep asking her a bunch of questions to make her open up and you feel like you’re throwing in a lot of energy, a lot of entertainment and the girl is just kind of soaking it up, just enjoying herself but not really contributing back.
Well, no worries, my friend, because in today’s video I’m giving you four first date tips to make that girl open up to you in the very first minute.
So that she is the one doing the chasing on you, so that she is asking the questions to you so that she is the one pouring her energy into it for you where she’s trying to win over your approval and she’s trying to make you like her.
These four little tips work even if you’re not the best looking guy and she’s an absolute stunner and they work too if she’s just a naturally reserved kind of cold personality girl that is not used to doing that much talking in the first place.
They’re still going to get her to open up to you. They’re still going to get her chasing after you so she’s ready for that first kiss later on in the date and even will go home and jump into your bed.
I’ve also created for you a free cheat sheet you’re going to want to download right now, First Date Tips to Get a Girl Talking and Chasing after You.
You’re going to find a link for that down in the description below and right here on the screen.
This little cheat sheet you’re going to want to grab it because it’s got all the tips in this video spelled out for you verbatim to help you follow along plus a couple little extra bonus tips for having an incredible first date with a beautiful woman.
So take just a quick second. Hit pause on this video. Go grab that cheat sheet right now and then come right back here.
All right, so this is very important for the first 10 to 20 minutes on that first date, you want to have a very chill and calm vibe about you to give the girl a chance, to give the girl space to game you.
The big mistake that men tend to make in those first 20 minutes on that first date is that they want the girl to like them.
They infuse a lot of energy into the date. They’re very positive. They’re very animated. They’re telling stories.
They’re entertaining the girl. They’re asking the girl a bunch of questions. They keep blasting the girl with energy and attraction spikes, all to make the girl’s head explode.
But here’s what you got to remember, that girl dropped everything she was doing that day to be there with you.
She interrupted everything she was doing to meet in front of you on that first date, and that means she is invested.
If she came out to meet you, that means she likes you and she’s now on your side and she wants you to win. She wants you to succeed and actually she’s more worried about making a good first impression than you are.
Understanding that your goal the first 20 minutes of that date is to get the girl to invest back into the conversation where it’s more of a 50/50 give-and-take, so to accomplish that the key is not to be Mr. Entertainer Man, full of energy trying to spike the girls emotions up but instead just calm down, just chill out.
You want to be leaning back and let the girl game you. Even in your physical sense with your own body language, you don’t want to be leaning into the girl blah, blah, blah, really eager, very excited.
But rather you’re calm. You’re chill and you are physically leaning back in a very relaxed sort of way, creating that physical space between you and the girl.
Another way to think of it is like this, at the beginning of the date you want to have a nice calm energy and vibe about you, very chill, and you gradually build that energy up as the day progresses.
You don’t want to start out with a huge spike of energy at the very beginning because then you can’t sustain that and the only place that energy can go is downwards.
You want to start it low and gradually build it up. You don’t want to start up here and then have to fall down.
Next up in the first 20 minutes of that first date. You want to be creating long, awkward pauses, I mean deliberately creating long awkward pauses.
We, men, especially when we’re a little bit nervous we make the mistake of just talk, talk, talk, trying to fill in every space with banner like boom, boom and this and that and say this and that and just keep it going and don’t stop. Don’t…let…there…be…any…silences.
No! No! No!
You want to by design add in long awkward silences into the interaction, long blank spaces where nobody is talking and it feels awkward, where you let the conversation go silent and you just look that girl dead in the eyes and you challenge her to fill that blank space.
You just look that girl in the eyes, eyes a little bit narrowed with a smirk on your face, a little bit of a playful smile and you raise an eyebrow like, “Well, what have you got?”
You let the girl jump in to try to fill in that space for you.
It’s that awkward silence, that awkward space where you’ve got to just own it. You’ve got to become comfortable with it because the girl will feel uncomfortable and that will compel her to contribute back into the conversation.
All right next to achieve that nice calm vibe with the girl, you want to assume deep familiarity with her.
What we, men, tend to do wrong is we see that girl sitting across from us as a stranger like a separate entity, like an alien that has beamed down the earth and we don’t really know her like we’re on a job interview trying to impress her boss and we just want this stranger to like us.
That’s not a good frame to be coming from because you’re going to be leaning in, being overly positive, overly hyper-energetic, trying to entertain the girl in that case.
Instead, you want to assume familiarity with the girl where you act like she’s your girlfriend over the last 10 years, or she’s your bratty little sister and you’ve known ear your whole life.
Because if you were meeting an old girlfriend that you’ve known for the past 10 years, you’d just be chilled. You’d just be relaxed, and you’d expect her to talk back and contribute.
Now you can throw in a little energy spike here and there. You can tease or you can make assumptions about he. You can accuse her of something just like if it was an old girlfriend of yours you might do that, just like if it was your bratty little sister, you might do that as well.
But the point is overall vibe, very calm, very chill and assuming familiarity gives you that.
All right, next up in those first 20 minutes of that first date. While you do want to be calm and you do want to be chill, you also need to be building sexual tension from the very first minute.
We’ve already gone over that first big mistake guys make during the first 20 minutes of the first date is being overly hyper, overly positive, investing too much, talking too much and not giving the girl a chance to invest back.
So instead you had that nice calm, cool chill vibe where you just physically leaned back. You’re creating those awkward pauses that gets the girl to invest back.
But it also brings up the second big mistake that men make and that is having a vibe that is purely nonsexual and friend-friend.
So even though during those first 20 minutes, you are calm, chill and relaxed, that doesn’t mean you’re friend-to-friend boring. You still need to be building sexual tension from the very first second.
You build that sexual tension with your voice and with your eyes. For example, when the girl is talking to you and you’re listening, you’re also looking deep into her eyes back, thinking about how you are going to bang the crap out of her and you are communicating your sexual intent by the way you gaze at her.
When that beautiful woman is talking to you, you’re going to give her those hungry wolf eyes, projecting your sexual intensity deep inside of her, looking at her like a hungry man looks at a juicy steak.
To build sexual tension as well, you’re simply going to slow down your cadence, slow down the rate at which the words are coming out of your mouth, deepen your voice, and also throw in a little bit of sexual innuendo.
You don’t start building sexual tension 20 minutes into a date. You don’t start building it 10 minutes into the date or even 5 minutes into the date. You start building sexual tension from minute number 1.
Yes, the first 20 minutes of that first date very chill vibe, very relaxed, very calm. You’re leaning back. You’re assuming familiarity with the girl. You’re deliberately inserting those awkward long silences to make her talk back and invest.
But at the same time, you’re also building sexual tension from the very first minute. That is key.
Even though the vibe is relaxed, she has to feel deep in her soul, deep in her gut that if she were alone in a room with you, that you would bang the shit out of her.
She has to feel that sexual predator energy oozing off of you and that’s what makes you interesting to her, that’s what makes you the dangerous rebel bad boy.
The secret is during those first 20 minutes of that first date, you don’t even have to get physical with your hands to do that. It can all be communicated through your eyes and through your voice.