Now, don’t you hate it when you ask a girl for her phone number, and she comes up with an excuse like, “Oh sorry, I don’t give out my number.”
Or she tells you, “Oh, you want my number? Sorry I have a boyfriend.”
Or she tells you, “Um…well…why don’t you give me YOUR number instead?”
Well, I’m going to show you how to overcome all these objections one by one…
So that you can get her number 100% every time using some clever little tricks you can STEAL from me.
These are gonna surprise you, you’ll think, why did I not think of this before?
And you’ll get the girl’s number every. Single. Time.
Even if it’s the drop-dead gorgeous girl who never hands her number out to ANYONE, she’ll still give it to you.
So if that sounds like something you want to hear, keep on watching to the end.
Let’s crack into it!
Tip #1. “Why don’t you give me YOUR number?”
All right, so you ask a girl for her phone number.
And she tells you instead, “Well guy, why don’t you give me YOUR number instead?”
What do you do then?
Well, the WRONG thing to do is say, “Okay,” and just take her number.
Because a girl will never take the initiative on her own to call YOU.
Look, a girl is NOT going to call you 99% of the time.
She doesn’t want that responsibility on HER shoulders.
Women want the man to take ALL the action and be responsible for making everything happen.
So when you give a girl YOUR phone number but you don’t get hers, it’s utterly worthless.
It might make you feel better. But it’s a trick of hers to blow you off.
What to say back to her
So what DO you say when a girl tells you, “Well, guy, why don’t you give me YOUR number instead?”
A little persistence and LEADING is in order here.
You simply tell her, “Listen, I approached you…”
“So *I* get the number.”
“Fifty-fifty here. That’s fair.”
“So let’s swap numbers.”
Why it works
Because you’ve now LED the situation…
That actually makes her feel MORE attracted to you.
That raises your value in her eyes. She’s thinking, “Wow! This guy is a confident badass.”
And also, girls don’t want to go against the social flow. Girls don’t want to create social awkwardness.
Girls want the easy way, and just ride with the social flow.
So when you firmly set an expectation of trading numbers and explicitly giving reasons…
She’s not going to say, “No, no, no! *I* will take your number and that’s that!”
She’s not going to say that!
It’s just easier and more comfortable for her to agree with you and follow along.
And you’re giving her a logical reason to do so as well.
“I approached you, so it’s only fair. We swap numbers.”
And her brain will be like, “All right. Makes sense.”
And she’ll give you her number just like that.
Take the pressure off of her
Furthermore, you can also tell her to further take the pressure off of her.
“Look, I approached you, so *I* get the number. Let’s swap numbers.”
“And listen, I’m going to send you just ONE test message. Just one. That’s it.”
“And you can decide later.”
“You can delete my number. You can block me even.”
“I’m cool with that either way.”
“I’ll just send you ONE text message. So let’s swap numbers.”
And what that does, it takes the pressure off.
You want her number, yes, but there’s no pressure.
And she feels like, “Oh , kay. This guy ‘gets it’.”
“He’s socially savvy. He’s not needy.”
“He’s not going to call me twenty times or get mad if I don’t answer.”
So it puts her at ease.
And it also gets her thinking, “You know, I don’t have this guy wrapped around my little finger yet. He’s a challenge.”
It creates a framework where SHE needs to chase YOU.
And 99% of the time when you say all this…
The girl will “flip” agree with you, and happily give you her number.
Tip #2. “I have a boyfriend.”
Now, sometimes, when you ask a girl for her number…
She’ll tell you:
“Well, sorry I can’t. You see, I have a boyfriend and he wouldn’t like that.”
Here’s the thing: she MIGHT have a boyfriend, yes.
But other times girls just use this excuse to give their number out even though they’re actually single.
So you can tell her, “Oh, that’s all right. I’m not asking to be your boyfriend.”
So that line right there takes the pressure off her and also creates a vacuum of space where it sets the frame that she doesn’t have you. She has to still chase you.
Then you tell her, “We can just go for a friendly drink for say a coffee or a smoothie.”
“It’s purely platonic. It’s just a friendly drink. That’s it.”
That relieves the pressure even more.
It’s not a date. It’s real casual.
Flip the script
Next, you want to flip the script.
Tell her, “I mean, you’re not going to start stalking me right, are you?”
“I don’t have to be scared of you, do I?”
See? You’ve framed it as YOU are the one being chased by HER, which relieves the pressure off of her as well.
Then you can tell her, “And listen, I’m going to send you just ONE text message, all right? Just one. That’s it.”
“And you can decide later. You can delete my number. You can block me.”
“I’m all cool. I’m not bothered. So what’s your number?”
And 99% of the time, she’ll change her mind and give you her number right there.
Again, important to remember, girls just want to go with the social flow.
They don’t want to create social awkwardness.
And because you’ve persisted, because you’ve set the frame, because you’ve led…
You grew more attractive and intriguing in her eyes.
So, she’ll do the most comfortable thing and give you her number.
So to recap all that, when you ask a girl for her number, and she tells you, “Well sorry, I can’t. You see, I have a boyfriend. He wouldn’t like that.”
You tell her this:
“Oh, that’s all right. I’m not asking to be your boyfriend.”
“We can just go for a friendly drink for say a…coffee or a smoothie.”
“It’s purely platonic. Just a friendly drink, that’s it.”
“I mean, you’re not going to start stalking me are you, right? I don’t have to be scared of you, do I?”
“And listen, I’m going to send you just ONE text message. Just one. That’s it.”
“You can delete my number. You can block me. You can decide later.”
“Either way, I’m cool.”
“So what’s your number?”
And she’ll be like, “Well, okay, here’s my number,” and give it to you.
And you’re gold!
Tip #3. “I don’t give out my number.”
All right, what if you ask a girl for her number, and she tells you, “Sorry. I don’t give out my number!”
Now that’s almost a direct “no.” You didn’t get compliance from her.
So in such a situation, you want to baby step the compliance instead.
You want to break up your request into smaller steps into smaller requests that you CAN get compliance from.
How it works
So, here’s an example:
You tell her, “Hey give me your number…”
And she replies, “I’m sorry, I don’t give out my phone number. That’s my rule.”
All right, now let’s break it up into smaller chunks and baby-step it.
First tell her, “All right, I understand. Look, you don’t need to give me your number.”
“Just tap in your name into my phone real quick. That’s it. Just name.”
“Here you go.”
And give her your phone.
Now, believe it or not, girls WILL tap in their name.
Again, you’re taking charge. You’re commanding. You’re leading. You’ll have certainty. You’re confident.
And girls don’t want to create social awkwardness, so they go with the flow.
And she’ll put her name in.
Getting the number
Now that she’s typed in her name…
While she’s still holding her your phone, while you’ve gotten that small bit of compliance from her…
While she’s got momentum, while she’s doing what you’re telling her…
Now baby-step the next small step or request.
Tell her, “All right, just give me your area code. The first 3 digits. That’s it.”
It’s a small ask. Requires very little compliance. Just an area code.
Girls will type in their area code.
I know it sounds weird, but it works.
Now you baby step the next small chunk of getting compliance from her.
Tell her, “Look, just tap in the rest of your digits.”
And girls will do it.
So you had a larger request for compliance, to get her phone number, which she rejected.
So you adjust. You broke your request into much smaller steps or chunks.
Her name. Her area code.
And then the rest of her number.
And there you go! You got her number over three discrete, smaller steps.
And then you can further take the pressure off.
Tell her, “Look, I’ll send you just ONE text message, okay. Just one. That’s it.”
“And you can decide later. You can delete my number. You can block me. It’s okay. I’m cool with it.”
And there you go. Mission accomplished.
So now you know how to handle just about anything a girl will throw at you.
And you’d be surprised. You never know…
Women are very unpredictable.
Sometimes a woman eagerly gives up her number, you feel like she was LOVING you.
Then later, you can’t hardly reach her, or she ghosts on you.
Whereas other times, another woman resists, tries to evade, but because you persisted, you got her number.
And then she’s surprisingly friendly and receptive to picking up the phone with you.
So you never know.
If she puts up obstacles, don’t just give up. Go for it!
You never know. More times than you’d expect, the girl will surprise you.
It’s always worth it to try and just hang in there.