And I’m excited about this video because we are answering a very important question.
What do you do when you’re on a date with a cute girl and she asks you…
“So… mister…how many girls have you slept with?”
What do you say to her back?
In fact, Pete asked me, “Hey Jesse, I was on a date with a woman recently and we had a good time. But she suddenly asked me how many girls have you slept with?”
“And I wasn’t sure how I to answer her.”
“I didn’t want to say zero because I didn’t want to look a guy that no other woman wanted. But I didn’t want to say a higher number either in case it would turn her off.
“Instead I stammered for a moment in embarrassment and looked a bit like an idiot. So what’s the appropriate thing to say in that case?”
“Thanks. Enjoying your tips.”
So yeah, it’s kind of loaded question that can only get you into trouble.
So how do you answer that where you come out actually looking BETTER to the girl than you did before, where the girl LOVES you even MORE by the way you answer her?
That’s what I’m going to show you right now in this video.
So listen up!
It’s a good sign
First, you got to understand that when a woman asks you, “How many women have you slept with…” that’s a very GOOD sign.
No woman will ask that to a man they’re not sexually interested in. She’ll ONLY ever ask that to a guy that she’s considering sleeping with.
If you get that question, it means she feels things are going in a direction of the bedroom.
She will NOT ask that to guys she’s just platonic friends with.
So that’s the good news.
WHY girls will ask that question
Now it’s also important to understand WHY girls will ask you, “how many other women you’ve bedded” in the past.
Some women, it’s just an autopilot question.
She asks it just to keep the conversation going.
Sort of like, “what do you do” and “where are you from.”
In other cases, women like to talk about sex to build sexual comfort with you, and that’s a safe question for them to ask you.
But *usually*most of the time, women ask that because they’re fishing for information.
She feels like she’s falling for you, that she actually LIKES you.
And she’ll ask that specifically to see if you answer back with something particularly DUMB.
Like if you answer in a way that really disqualifies yourself and signals to her NOT to sleep with you…
Signals to her to put an end to the seduction right then and there and get out while she still can.
Like for example, say she’s slept with a LOT of guys before, and you blurt out that you’re a virgin, she wants to see if there’s a big mismatch there.
Sometimes women will also ask just to test you.
How do you handle it? Do you get embarrassed? Do you freeze up? Or do you keep your composure?
She wants to see how you’re gonna react.
But regardless, it doesn’t matter her reason for asking you. Your answer is going to be the same.
Keep it mysterious
So, my recommendation is…
The best answer to give a woman when she asks you, “How many girls have you slept with” is…
To keep it MYSTERIOUS.
This is where a woman wants a man of mystery because say you give her a low number.
You slept with just two women before. Well, some girls might like your answer.
But other women might just think you’re inexperienced. Or that you’re not that desirable to other women.
Or if SHE has slept with dozens of guys, SHE might lose sexual comfort with you.
Like she’d become afraid that you’d judge her negatively for sleeping around.
On the other hand, if you tell her a high number like you’ve slept with 50 different women…
With some girls, that might turn them on, but other women might feel she’s not special anymore.
That she’s just another notch on your belt of conquests.
Or why can’t you stay in a relationship, is there something wrong with you? Or maybe she becomes anxious if you have some weird disease possibly.
So telling a woman how many girls you’ve slept with before…
If she likes the number you give her, it’s not really gonna help you much.
It’s not like she’s going to jump onto your cock because of that. It might help you a little bit like this much.
It might help you 1%.
But if you tell her a number she DOESN’T like…
It can hurt you a lot more. It can hurt you like THIS much.
So the potential upside is very small compared to the potential downside.
In other words, it almost NEVER works to your advantage to outright tell a girl your “lay count.”
If you give her an answer she likes, it’s not gonna help you much.
But on the other hand, it COULD HURT you big time.
So I say, don’t reveal specifics.
Keep it mysterious.
Make it an open loop where you’re a man of mystery that she has to dig deeper to get to know…
And chase after to uncover your secrets.
So, I’m going to give you TWO variations now on how to exactly answer her.
Imagine you’re there on a first date with a pretty girl.
And she asks you, “So how many women have you slept with?”
And you’re like, “Oh, god.”
Don’t worry. Just tell her this.
The key here is to playfully exaggerate.
It’s like a “lie plotline.”
You tell her, “How many women have I slept with? Well, I’ll tell you…”
You’re dallying. You’re stretching it. You’re creating suspense.
You’re creating suspense to then POP her with a surprise.
So you say, “How many have I slept with? I. Will. Tell. You.”
Now we pop the suspense with an exaggeration.
“Zero. Exactly zero.”
“You see, I’m a very good boy. I have never done anything naughty in my life.”
“I’m a virgin. Can’t you tell?”
You say it with a cheeky smile. It’s not serious at all!
You want her to realize you’re lying or toying with her.
And she’ll laugh, and maybe she asks you again,
“No really. How many women have you slept with?!”
“Look! The furthest I’ve ever gotten with a woman is holding hands. We held hands for five minutes.”
“And it was wild, real wild.”
So that’ll get her to laugh and think you’re cool as hell.
Now some are more socially savvy girls and will drop it.
But some other women, you just spiked their curiosity even more.
So if she keeps asking you, just be honest with her at that point.
Tell her, “Okay no for real, I don’t kiss and tell out of privacy to those women.”
“I believe whatever happens between a man and woman should stay private. I respect women’s privacy.”
“So I don’t feel it’s appropriate to answer that really. You can understand that.”
And she’ll say, “Yeah, I understand.”
“Good! You see, that’s what I like about you.”
So, what you’re doing there is giving her an honest answer.
And sexually framing yourself as a guy who is SAFE for her to sleep with.
You don’t brag about conquests. You’re not going to rat her out for sleeping with you.
You’re not going to shame her later. You’re not going to judge her.
That answer makes her feel more sexually comfortable to have some fun in bed with you.
Now I’m going to give you a second variation answer you can give a girl.
Instead of a lie plotline or super exaggeration that you’re a virgin…
You instead go in the OTHER direction and make it sound like you’ve slept with more girls than you can count.
So again, she asks you, “How many women have you slept with?”
And you tell her, “Hmmm…how many women…how many women…let me see…”
That’s creating the suspense, which you’ll eventually pop for a surprise.
And you’re pausing here to create suspense.
“Uh, there’s… Alice…yeah Alice…”
“Alice was a little crazy…”
“And uh… Alabama…”
“Dominica…man, Dominica was a real firecracker…”
“Man…you know, I just keep meeting girls with names of countries and cities!”
“I don’t know what it is!”
So you see what you’re doing here.
You start giving out some REAL names, “Amy”…“Alice”…
To make it sound like you’re listing off REAL names of real girls at first.
And then you pop it with a surprise by listing off names of cities and names of countries in alphabetical order.
Brazil…Barcelona…Croatia…and so on.
So that gets her laughing when she realizes you’re just toying with her.
That it’s all a big silly, goofy, playful lie.
There’s no Amy.
There’s no Alice.
There’s no girl named “Brazil” or “Barcelona.”
And if she’s STILL like, “No, no, for real, tell me.”
Then again, just tell her, “Okay, no for real, I don’t kiss and tell out of privacy to those women.”
“I believe whatever happens between a man and woman should stay private.”
“So I don’t feel it’s appropriate to answer that. You can understand that, right?”
And so on.
Why NOT ask her
Now, bonus round!
Once she asks you, should you ask her back?
Should you ask her, “Okay, now it’s your turn girl. Tell me. How many guys have YOU slept with?”
And you *could* ask her that. But for me, I never ask a woman.
Because first of all, if YOU haven’t told her a number, she’s probably not going to feel comfortable telling you a number because that puts HER at a disadvantage now.
She has nothing to gain from telling you.
And if she DOES give you an answer, she’ll probably lie about it anyway.
So why even ask?
Why NOT ask her
Second, I don’t feel it’s very gentlemanly thing to ask.
It’s bad manners. I mean, it’s bad manners for the girl to ask it to you that on a date, although I’m sympathetic to WHY she might ask you. She’s trying to make a decision about you usually if she asks.
But regardless, it’s bad manners for YOU to ask a girl that. It’s like farting out loud. And two wrongs don’t make a right.
Third, I don’t ask because…
If you feel you have to ask her that how many guys she’s been intimate with before…
It’s usually coming from a place of insecurity on your part.
A super abundant dude that all the girls go after and has his choice among the most beautiful women, he just wouldn’t care about that.
Now there IS an exception WHY you might ask her how many guys she’s slept with before.
And that is if…it’s a CORE value of yours.
Like you are *specifically* looking for, say a wife that has had less than three partners in her life…
Or you are looking to marry a virgin and that is a fundamental core value or requirement you have.
You could ask it then.
But keep in mind…
A woman can very easily lie about that sort of thing.
If the girl likes you, and you ask her that, she’ll generally want to feed you the answer she thinks you WANT to hear because she’s trying to win you over, because she likes you.
She doesn’t want you to judge her. So will you even get the truth?
So even in that case… I generally think it’s a rather pointless question to ask of a woman on a date.
So there you go!
That’s what you say to a woman when she asks you, “how many girls have you slept with.”
Now you know how to handle it without being awkward.
And it’s good to memorize your answer too because you WILL get asked that eventually if you date enough women.